Dirty little secrets mothers keep …
I had someone comment on my blog recently which took me to her blog, and it in turn led me to a section of her blog which was cleverly referred to as “Dirty Little Secrets” where moms/parents had posted stuff …
You know the stuff you think, but do not say in public for fear of being beaten up, or child services arrive at your door step, or for what ever else it is that you fear happening.
There are some corkers on this site.
I thought I would grab a few that stood out for me – then I realized that there were more than just a few that resonated with me …..I am starting to think my multiple personality disorder went along and posted some of these comments.
- I resent my kids. I feel like I could have done so much better for myself.
- No one told me how lonely motherhood is….
- Occasionally I wonder what sort of injury it would take for me to have a stay in hospital as a kind of guilt free holiday.
- On the outside I am a happily married wife and mother. On the inside I am lesbian plotting to leave my husband when the time is right after get his help paying for my school.
- I used to love life and feel proud about myself…now I’m sad every day and feel like a failure…I look at my marriage and I think “Do I have to be in this relationship for my children’s sake?”. I love my sons but being a Mom is very tiring and I never feel that I did a good job, unlike when I used to work and felt accomplished and successful. Back in those days when I was single, all I wanted was a husband and a family to make me whole. If this is what I wanted how come I’m not happy…
- I think I want another baby, only to distract me from the two kids I already have! Probably not the best reason to have a third child.
- I tell my kids to go away more often than I tell them I love them.
- I cry in the shower so no one else can hear or see me
- I look forward to when my husband goes on deployments and work ups because I have one less person to take care of. It’s like he is my 3rd child and I am starting to resent him for it.
- Sometimes I hide in my walk in closet just for a few minutes of quiet and no one can find me.
- I feel guilty all the time.
- I want to leave and take a break from my husband, but I have nowhere else to go. How pathetic is that?
- I used to be nice too. I used to like sex.
- If I had known what kind of father my husband would be, we would not have a child. We will not be having a second. Between doing 95% of the parenting by myself, and getting almost no sleep or time to myself, I physically and mentally cannot endure this again.
- That I want to just sleep. Sleep for an entire day. To just do nothing. I feel like I haven’t slept in 20 months.
- I keep a container full of M&Ms hidden for just me…that’s right-ALL FOR MYSELF! (It seems like that is the only thing I get to myself).
- I love my 2 children but, very often, when they wake up in the morning I’m thinking “When will bedtime come?”
- I really hate that my husband has he own life and just go’s and can do what he wants and I have to always stay home with the kids or take them with me.
- I fill up every wipe box in the house to the top and tell my husband we are out of wipes and I need to go buy another package just so I can take “quick” trip to the store by myself.
I think the reality is that there are a lot of sad moms out there who do a fabulous job of putting up a happy face.
I really feel it might be easier if we were all a bit more honest with each other, then maybe newer moms or soon to be moms, would not feel this overriding pressure to “live up to the expectation of motherhood” that we create.
There is this perception that motherhood is easy, natural, instinctive and well just lovely, and for some, well, it isn’t.
Women really make it hard for women. <sigh>