I really have lost my mommy and child prattle mojo at present.
Just not “in the mood” to tell you how Isabelle hurled the equivalent of cottage-cheese sized vomit chunks on to me with such force it blew my hair back.
Or that Kennith is on a business trip and has missed our first wedding anniversary.
If you can interpret “business trip” as drinking your way through every ‘pub that has large glasses of beer and look really really happy doing it posted on Facebook every 4 hours’ - it was that sort of business trip.
Kennith is always telling me how exhausted he is after a business trip.
I can’t imagine much better than being on an aeroplane for 12 – 18 hours and being allowed to sleep, someone bring me food, and no one ask me to wipe their arse.
Right there that sounds pretty good.
Sleeping in a hotel bed with a full continental breakfast every morning – sh*t it must be rough these business trips.
I hope he is okay.
I wasn’t quite sure how to introduce this topic, but I thought it might be cool as a dedication post to JoDon.
JoDon, because you appreciates totally irrelevant pieces of information, in totally out-of-place places presented in the most/almost unlikely environments – this chick is for you:
No, not head lice – the ones we are more ready to admit to - but pubic lice. Here is a vaguely interesting fact you can pull out next time there is a lull in conversation on date night.
Pubic Lice: (Phthirus pubis) Commonly passed through sexual contact and is often called crab lice or ‘crabs’.
The reason head lice does not turn into pubic lice and visa versa is that pubic lice have larger “claws” to grip on to pubic hair as pubic hair is coarser than head hair.
Head hair lice in turn have smaller “claws” and thus cannot grip onto pubic hair.
Interesting? I thought so.
Heres a picture incase you are struggling to picture it “in your mind’s eye” with my description.
In the event that you are pulling your face back in disgust and wondering how civilisation has come to this.
Take comfort, here is a print from a 12th century scroll, where shaving was the only solution to pubic lice. <I really am not sure why the girl is cackling in the background, because my guess is she is probably carrying a dose of it herself>
I bet you did not know that! <on the upside if you have this little issue and too afraid to “forum about it” – you can pick up an ointment from your local pharmacy to make your new friends go away.>
You cannot pick up an STI/STD from a toilet seat …
Contrary to what your well-meaning-mother told you, and all your years spent trying to balance yourself over a public toilet seat as you took a wee, you cannot pick up an STI from a toilet seat.
You would have to wipe your nether regions onto the toilet seat rather profusely if there was an STI there and you were going to catch it. Even that is so unlikely you can go along and wipe yourself all over a public toilet seat at your leisure and odds are you still would walk away STI free.
Granted you may well pick up some bacteria from someone’s faces, but it won’t be an STD/STI.
It is unlikely you might believe me, but take it from this gal:-
“To my knowledge, no one has ever acquired an STD on the toilet seat — unless they were having sex on the toilet seat!” says Abigail Salyers, PhD, president of the American Society for Microbiology (ASM).
I have shared them with you, and you in turn can share them with two people and sooner or later we will be an entire group of people talking about pubic lice and toilet seats.
But if you think you need something to assist you in switching your brain from either image, try this advert from 1976 or thereabouts.
I do think the Love Rug is more disturbing that pubic lice, but that it my opinion.
Have a good Monday, what ever mental picture you are going to keep with you today!
PS: Georgia has just showed me a picture of a Barney character she has coloured in. She then danced around the dining room saying “BJ” five times. It still makes me wonder what the Barney creators were thinking when they went with that as a character name. Georgia appears to like BJ …. and that is wrong on so many levels, I am not sure exactly where to start.