<warning: this post has nothing to do with parenting, other than using birth control so as not to conceive Justin Bieber ……>
1. Twitter. I am not on it. I opened an account, and then never quite “got” Twitter. I have never gone back, and truly not sure I can comment on my life in 144 character text updates (or what ever you are allowed). This may be a sign that I am at the stage of late middle age where you start saying “ba humbug” a great deal.
2. It appears that only me and one unemployed man in Pakistan who has no internet access, nor fingers, no friends and liveds in a hut far away from society — out of choice. Me and him, are the only two people on planet earth who do not use Twitter. Everyone is on Twitter. Everyone, except me and this fella.
2. I think Kennith uses Twitter, but I am not sure. I know he reads feeds from Twitter, but I am not sure if he has an account and you can go along and “stalk him”.
3. I know Kennith follows some Twitter accounts, as he sometimes drops ‘pearls of wisdom’ that he has read on Twitter. Most times they are pretty funny.
4. My Twitter usage is more of a spectator sport, than direct involvement.
5. The defining moment in our relationship was when Kennith said “Kim Kardashian said ….. on Twitter..” and I looked at him through new eyes. Not eyes filled with wonder and delight mind you, but new eyes none the less.
6. Kennith has since regretted telling me he read a Kim Kardashian Tweet, and since, tells me at least every week that he does not follow Kim Kardashian.
6. Kennith does not follow Kim Kardashian on Twitter. So any reference to an insinuation that he might is unfounded, uncalled for, and will cause much anger and resentment.
7. I saw this Twitter update and picture of Will Ferrell and Justin Bieber which made me make all sorts of snorting noises. None of them attractive. Some resulted in mucus across my left cheeck. I have slowly grown fond of Will Ferell over the years. Where Justin Bieber has really become to symbolise all things that are wrong with the world of fame and music, and boys who wear shiny pants.
In this image, I love that JB looks far more “excited to be there” whilst Will Ferrell looks like he is smiling the “awkward smile” into a school class photographs, which we all have done, when our eyes are saying “for fk sake get me out of here!!! or stab me with a salad fork and put me out of my miseries.”
8. This alone might motivate me to find out how Twitter works and stalk Will Ferrell myself. Love you Will.