I got a request from the very nice people at the Department: Library & Information Service to be a Guest Speaker at their Service Awards Ceremony. This week. To talk for 20 minutes. In front of 200 people!
Initially I tried to ignore the request, but Ridhwaana has proved a persistent stalker.
I was not sure how to say no. She did ask nicely. Initially I was flattered, and whilst the size of my head swelled, I was unable to get my mouth to say no!! I then hoped that they would make contact with someone else, if I ignored her long enough.
Prayed they would find someone else. Was about to rattle of a short list of other people I suggested they contact.
They didn’t. I left it too late, so now I will be stage/hiding behind a podium talking to 200 people. I am mortified. I am throwing up in a little brown bag strategically lined with plastic so it does not leak as I slip it into my large dirty orange handbag.
My brain is flooded with adrenaline. To be honest it is flooded with that other stuff. The stuff that makes you put your fingers in your ear and go la-la-la-la and procrastinate.
I cannot think what I could possibly say to Library people or any people for that matter, which will sound vaguely interesting for 20 minutes, and without embarrassing myself … more than I usually do.
How the hell do I get myself into this situation?! More importantly who can I pay to get me out of this situation?
I am thinking about having a liquid breakfastv and then just seeing how it goes, speak off the cuff, no notes …..
Cripes, I haven’t told them I have a social phobia and one of more endearing qualities in a high pressured situation is to talk insanely and exhibit symptoms that disimiliar from Tourette’s. That I am sure will go down like a lead balloon!
Have not prepared anything …. I might fake a stomach bug.