First Child …. Second Child …. Third Child

I have recently been thinking about how my parenting “style” has changed with the addition of more children.

I wish I could tell you that I have grown and developed as a parent, and I have learnt so much, and I am all “unicorns and rainbows” over this parenting thing – but whether you have one or five, you are just looking to cope and to survive the day.

Well I am at any rate.

Baby Announcements

First Child

Make the announcement in a really adorable way.

Second Child

Make the announcement via email as soon as you have told your department manager you are pregnant, and the two of you work out when you will be on maternity leave.

Third Child

Announce it at the same time as you turn down a glass of wine “can’t I am pregnant —- yes, I know it is going to be a long nine months..”

Photo Shoots

First Child

Book a couple shoot, as you stare into each other’s eyes with the happiness of two people who have proven their eggs and sperm work.  Book a maternity shoot – with more “staring into each other’s eyes” and lots of hands on stomachs.  Book a newborn shoot.  Book a 3 month shoot.  Book a 6 month shoot.

Second Child

Book the maternity shoot – but with slightly less “deep into each other’s eyes staring.”  Book a newborn shoot, then figure you can take the rest yourself with the nifty camera you bought after you realised you need a camera with your first child because you are taking so many damn pictures.

Third Child

Use your iphone to capture all the magical moments.

Sterlising bottles and dummies

First Child

Your home looks like a science laboratory.  Everything in it’s place.  You have sections of the kitchen counter dedicated to where in the sterilisation process the bottles and dummies are.  You adhere to the once you have fed the baby and the baby leaves any food/milk behind throw it away as there is bacteria happening there.  Dummies are kept clean, and you have one of those containers with sterilising fluid to put the dummy into should it fall on the floor.

Second Child

You sterilise bottles up to 6 weeks.  Dummies get rinsed under the tap if they fall on the floor.  You are somewhat alarmed by how close your first child who always appears to be covered in snot and sticky keeps getting to your second child.

Third Child

You sterilise bottles for 3 weeks.  If your baby’s hands or face is sticky and the dog licks either, you scream at the dog, but are thankful that you do not need to go and find a wet wipe.  Dummies are meant to be on the floor.

Record Keeping

First Child

You have already marked all the vaccination dates off in your diary, and arrive exactly on the day they are due.

Second Child

You mark the vaccinations dates off in your diary — you really try to get to them all, some you are late for, and then the clinic has to either give two shots together, or make a plan to give a shot 6 months later, because you have totally mucked up the schedule.

Third Child

You remember you have clean forgotten to get any vaccinations as it’s your child’s birthday, and you recall somewhere in the recesses of your mind that by this age you should have at least got to the clinic.

Talking about Nappies

First Child

You enter an entirely new universe where moms stand around and discuss the frequency, consistency and colour of baby poo. Initially you are reluctant to talk about sh&t – but as time moves along you realise that to be part of the in-crowd you need to look interested in poo, and be able to regale the group with at least one story.

Second Child

You are pretty much at your limit with regards to poo.  You have seen so much of it.  Had it flicked on you.  Found it under your nails, that the last thing you want to speak about is poo.  If you are standing with a group of new moms and the “poo” subject comes up, you smile lamely and think to yourself  “I can spot a new mom from a mile away…”

Third Child

You outsource anything poo related to the Nanny if you can – and if not, then you get it done, and get on with your life.  Life is too short to stand around speaking about shit.

Injuries

First Child

Every cough, red spot and slight “eina” requires the first aid kit to be pulled out, desperate searches on google, and in desperation posts to Facebook or Forums to help you – because every knock, cut and ache is life threatening.

Second Child

“Is it bleeding?  Are you dying? No?  Then it is fine – go play, leave mom alone for a few moments.”

Third Child

“What do you mean she broke her arm?  When?”

how old

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13 Comments

  1. mommayhem

     /  February 16, 2014

    Reblogged this on DailyMamas.

    Reply
  2. Ilse

     /  February 12, 2014

    So true, I just loved reading this after reading a rather sad valentines day post. Now I’m smiling and a little more prepared to storm into Woolies and fill the trolley with “valentines day surprises” the school ordered for the annual valentines day school picnic. Valentines day much? xxx
    - I honestly just love this blog so much!!

    Reply
  3. Hilarious! I’m a first time mom- you’d spot me a mile away 😊

    Reply
  4. Reblogged this on diariesofarealmommy's Blog and commented:
    Ver funny and true!

    Reply
  5. Love it. I thought perhaps I was some anomaly.

    Reply
  6. Reblogged this on UnexpectingDad.

    Reply
  7. Cindy

     /  February 6, 2014

    OMW this post is sooooo true. I only have 2 kids and my poor second one, got the very short end of the stick…lol

    Reply
  8. Alexandra

     /  February 6, 2014

    So so true

    Reply
  9. Nicely written and very funny! Thoroughly enjoyed it! Hey… life might be going down the crapper but your blogging of late has been pretty awesome!

    Reply
    • Oh Sandi — you do make me smile ” life might be going down the crapper but your blogging of late has been pretty awesome!”

      Reply
  10. Zaakiyah

     /  February 6, 2014

    this sounds so much like me its scary, especially the injury part. no blood then its fine. haha

    Reply
  11. Joyce

     /  February 6, 2014

    So now I don’t have to feel so bad about my nanny asking me “has Ben had his nine months injections?” when he is already almost 12 months old…. what does one say to that…? Ummm, well… I think I didn’t take him because he was a bit sick… but actually I totally forgot!!! Embarrassing… but at least I know my nanny is on the ball!! Thanks to Happy Helpers!

    Reply
  12. So true! Only have 2 kids but already a difference in parenting style. Poor baby #2

    Reply

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