I am not quite sure how to explain this phenomena without posting the issue in the words of the mother who was effected/traumatized/left stunned:-
I feel so betrayed because I trusted my nanny with my kids, little boy (2.7yrs) and
little girl (7months).
Last week I found her breast-feeding my little girl and I still feel
traumatized by the thought that she might have infected my little girl with HIV.
Of course I took little girl for HIV testing the same day and gave my nanny an hour to get out of my house, but I feel like I will never be able to trust another nanny with
my kids again.
I don’t even trust crèche teachers at this stage. But what can I do
because I have to work and my job has a lot of travelling involved.
I feel so stressed and depressed right now. Please give me any advise on what I can do from this point.
Instinctively you will want to go back and re-read it as, if your brain is in any way programmed like mine, is going “What the Fuck!”
You might even say it several times over and then think “what!?”
It actually does not get any easier to absorb no matter how many times you try and take it in.
I could not wrap my head around this. Where in any women’s mind would it be okay to “breastfeed” another women’s child? How ignorant must you be? How totally removed from …. I don’t know ….. everything must you be to go “this is a super idea.”
The mom in question had stopped breast-feeding her daughter when her little girl was 4 months old. But as the little girl is now 7 months old and took the breast, the thinking unfortunately is too frightening to begin to imagine.
When I picked myself up off the floor from the rather dazed state I was in after absorbing this – it appears that this phenomena is not as “wildly” uncommon as my “suburban mind” is assuming.
Nope, if someone is looking after your baby and baby is upset and nothing is working, then said person often things “well, I got milk, and baby needs to be soothed, so let’s pop my nipple into baby’s mouth.”
Two other moms said they had heard of this occurring before and though they were horrified that it occured they were not as shocked as I was, as it “happens”.
Officially a total WHAT THE FUCK MOMENT?!!!
My point here (and I think there could be so many things we could say on this but I am going to leave it to this one) is if you left me for 50 years interviewing and hiring nannies to assist moms with newborns or young babies, and I would NEVER have thought to say “oh, my baby is being breastfed, I just want you to know in no uncertain terms that if you put your nipple anywhere near my child I will kill you – and not quickly. I will kill you slowly and painfully and bury your body so no one will ever find you! Okay, so we clear on that? Anything else you need to know about the position?”
Not an issue that I would have covered in any interview, ever – no matter how many times I had interviewed or reference checked someone.
But this it appears might be one I will suggest you add to your list if you are interviewing someone who has recently had a baby — you know, just because she could slip and her nipple could land in your newborn’s mouth.
Freaking unbelievable. (or am I the only one who has just had the bejesus scared into them?)