I am not sure if when you think back to being at school they are happy thoughts, or you are possibly gripped by a sense of nausea as you reminisce over how mean and cruel kids were.
School is like a dirty petri dish of social pressure, with you having a bad-hair-year, buck teeth, braces if you were super unfortunately, and a combination of gangly limbs with bad skin.
To fit in to the “social structure” that exists at a school is brutal.
I would not wish it on anyone, and unfortunately I drop my kids off at school each day to go through it. I am scared of high school for my kids, and they are years away from it – but primary and pre-school are bad enough.
I often get stories about who was mean to whom, who was horrible, who called one of them names and so on. Some times my kids are really upset. Often it makes me want to turn the car around, drive back to school, find the little sh&t and smack them against the side of the head.
I have twice phoned parents of kids that my son has had an issue with, and generally my experience has been, it has not really made a huge difference.
I have realised that it is rather naive to think all kids are going to like my kids, and really my kids do not have to like every one else.
As long as they do not beat the crap out of other kids, and visa versa, then that is the best I can hope for. I can’t hope for anything more in the world that is the Nirvana of schools.
Kids are brutally honest, and really horrible little people, who say really mean things, and are too small to box in the face.
They say mean things to each other and hurt each other’s feelings. This goes on all day, and sooner or later someone says something mean to your child and then your child is crying to you about how “everyone is mean to them….” and you are going to feel like a dagger has been plunged in to your chest, and your “I am the lioness and I will defend my child” moment will happen to you.
I was lucky enough to have older brothers at the schools I went to (barring the Girls’ School) and they helped to pave the way for me arriving.
There is something “safe” about arriving in a school if you have had a sibling there already. For one you know a few older kids, and you always have a posse in the event someone bullies you, and you have established “street cred” to a degree.
Well, that has been my experience.
Someone recently had a conversation with me about how they were feeling anxious about their child, who is considered “mixed race” and how this child will be accepted at school – and how they will be picked on and what they should do.
Honestly I have no idea.
I think the “trick” might be to give your child a safe home and a good grounding, that they know who they are, but we aware to teach them to bestreet wise and judge a situation for what it is – rather than what they think it is.
Tell them at home they are beautiful and clever, so they believe it, and have enough of the positive vibe before they get to school and get the snot kicked out of them.
After that there is really nothing you can do.
Kids are mean and really cruel. If you have anything different about you, kids pick up on it and use it as the point to pick on you.
It is lovely to have a quirky child, but I like to try to aim my kids into the main stream centre – for their own protection. They can be all quirky and skew eyes in the privacy of their home, but when they go into the “gladiator pit that is school” then I need them not to spread blood in the water to attract the sharks.
Connor is blonde. Connor has blue eyes. Connor is an attractive child, and does not have a third arm, or an eye in the middle of his forehead.
Connor does not really have a personal hygiene issue (more than any 10-year-old boy). He is friendly, well liked, and has a good gaggle of friends. Connor is pretty main stream as kids go – so he just fits in.
Connor gets picked on because he has freckles. That is what the kids decide to make fun of him about, and call him names, and that is what he comes home crying about.
I think my point is that no matter who you are, or what you look like, you will get picked on sooner or later.
Your child as well!! So brace yourself for it.