One of the issues I had to throw around in my head when getting married was whether to keep my surname or take Kennith’s.
The other was whether 16 years is really sufficient in terms of courtship and whether we should not rush it, and wait a while.
Kennith and I got married last year July in case you were not aware, or are new to the blog. We got married on our “16th” anniversary, 3 kids present, I wore white, we had wine being served while the ceremony was going on, it was that sort of wedding.
I can honestly say it was not an easy decision, but one fraught with imaginary potholes and other traumas, for me.
For Kennith it seemed “logical” that I would take his surname and just flip mine aside, like a giddy new bride.
I did in the end decide to take Kennith’s surname.
Part of the reason was that I would carry the same surname as my kids.
The other part of the reason was that I knew it was important to Kennith.
I really did not want to lose my surname. It was part of me. The part I recognised.
It was not quite right to make my surname a double barrell surname as I would still be “different” from the kids and Kennith, so that would sort of defeat a certain part of the exercise.
I settled somewhere in between where I could feel comfortable. I opted to take his surname, and go through a name change so that my surname became my third name.
<note, this really confused home affairs officials, and their foreheads get a crease, and they need to call a supervisor over to deal with it……>
I also decided to keep my “surname” until my new ID came into play.
Then it was official.
I got my new ID today. Suffice to say the photo is this side of hideous. It is pretty bad.
But I have it and I have my new name. So I plan to use it from today onwards and also alter my signature.
I know to a lot of people this would appear to be an insignificant day and really not something to even fuss about. But I am my name, or my name is me. Well that is how I feel to a certain degree.
And today I have a new name. According to South African Home Affairs at any rate.
<I stood in the queue today and there was a woman in the queue behind me who insisted on playing/fiddling with my hair. I was too mortified to tell her to stop!>