I often sit in judgement when I watch parents cave in to their child’s tantrum.
I squint my eyes a little, purse my mouth, and I think “you really need to get control of that child, you are making your life really hard…” and then I tut-tut-tut and take another sip of my wine, as I feel rather self-righteous, because I clearly have this taped.
This morning Isabelle asked for some watermelon for school.
Isabelle does not talk, so I had to work through several permutations until I got to what she wanted from me. I could be the horse whisperer at my ability to put together sounds and movement to come out with Watermelon, I even impress myself some days.
I put the watermelon into a little addis lunch box, and sealed the lid.
I thought that this might tip open in her bag, so I wrapped the lunch box in a layer of cling film, to ensure the contents remained the contents of the box and not loose watermelon all over her bag.
She went mental. Like apocalyptic mental.
Stamped her feet, screamed in a shrill ear-piercing voice, and gesticulated wildly.
I looked down at her, looked at my cling wrap handy work, looked back at her, thought “okay this child is seriously throwing a wobbly…”
Me: Isabelle, stop, it is fine, let’s put it in your bag.
It was a bit like throwing paraffin onto a fire, she went more mental. SCREAMING.
I could see the rather shocked expression on Priviledge (the maid’s) face.
I tried to reassure Isabelle, I used my strong mommy voice. I used my mommy is in charge voice. Then I used my threatening mommy in charge voice. Then I used my mommy who has made a plan voice (sounds a little like McGyver from the 80′s). Then I used my calm the hell down mommy voice. Then I used my please please please please let me do it this way voice. I resorted to my mommy is very disappointed in you voice.
The only reaction from Isabelle was further feet stamping, higher pitch and louder voice, and still more gesticulation.
In the end I took the lunchbox out of her bag, took the clingwrap off, checked it was sealed correctly and put it back in her bag.
Isabelle immediately stopped her tantrum. She pointed to her nose to indicate I needed to bring a tissue and wipe her nose as she had snot on her top lip, and did not like that.
I dutifully followed her prompt.
She put her little school bag on, looked at me knowingly just to ensure we were all clear on who wore the big girl panties in this relationship and then went on her way to school.
My two year old has me absolutely whipped! I might try balancing a doggy treat on my nose next.