Pregnancy – all it’s aches and groans

I really love being pregnant, there is something so magical and euphoric about the process that is going on inside your body, and I really enjoy it.

Each of my three pregnancies was so different that I would really be unable to say that “pregnancy is…” So I would imagine if all three pregnancies in the same body differed so, how much pregnancy from woman to woman must differ.

With Connor I sailed through the pregnancy, and probably had two bouts of heartburn that lasted about 10 minutes each – that was pretty much the level of my discomfort through the entire 9 months.

Because this was my first pregnancy and I did not know any better, I assumed all pregnancies were the same, and could not understand what other women found so hard.  You know how one gets on one’s soap box and thinks with a little knowledge you know everything, that might well have been me.  I would roll my eyes when I heard other women complaining about how the tough time they were having.  (Just wait, I got my just desserts ten fold…..)

I also think that the “mind space” you are in has a huge effect on how the pregnancy is going to go for you.  First time around I was really in a good place, and my relationship with Kennith was solid and we were on the same page.  I felt supported, loved and cherished.  If I looked vaguely unwell he would let me have a lie down and bring me the odd ice cream – bless his cotton socks!

Second pregnancy a whole new cereal box.  First trimester found me with IBS and overwhelming nausea.  I was ill from the get go and really just wanted to curl up into a little ball somewhere with a blankie over my head.  I was working a stressful job, with killer deadlines, and trying to juggle my 3-year-old son and work was a bit of a strain. My relationship with Kennith was all but in the toilet – not a clean toilet, but rather the one that has not been flushed for some time and you find in public-cubicles-servicing –homeless-people.

By the second trimester, I think my immune system was so beaten that it just left me susceptible to pretty much any infection that was going.  I had become a petri dish for pink-eye, bronchitis, sinusitis, and what ever else I could catch.

I also found that during the second trimester I developed back pain that came out of nowhere.  I could not roll over at night. I would need to sit up – more shuffle up, than sit – and then move my body to the other side, and slowly lower myself into the lying position to fall sleep.  This would go on several times during the night.

It was exhausting and very sore.  I read up and found out all about that lovely hormone Relaxin that loosens your pelvis and gets it ready to shove a head the size of a watermelon through!  Thanks for that.  Now even though we all knew no head was going to be jammed through anywhere, my body had a little checklist and continued to supply my body with Relaxin which made my back ache.

I recall having some stressful moments during my first pregnancy, but I can honestly say that second time around I had pushed past stress into high level paranoia.  There were several times where I thought the baby had died and rushed myself off to the OBGYN for a scan and reassurance.  It was really awful, and the terror really grips you.  I am convinced that between your hormone soaked brain, your over-active imagination and your constant worry about the future, it becomes the breeding ground for paranoia to reign supreme.  My paranoia monster not only reigned supreme, she invaded other countries.  It really was very scary.

As  Kennith and I were barely talking let alone basking in the happiness, I felt very alone and had no support during this period.  I was desperate, lonely and afraid, and as I felt more abandoned that I ever had.  My retaliation was to push Kennith as far away as possible – actually all the way up Kilimanjaro and beyond if the truth be told.  It is very similar to when police fire bullets into a crowd to calm them – similar effect.

During my third pregnancy, I started with a good dose of IBS – but managed to kick that in it’s ar*e around the third month.  Second trimester my body again did not get the memo that I really did not need any Relaxin.  It decided that it was now going to step up production and give me loads – I could bottle it and sell it if I wanted.  From about month 4 I was sure that my pelvis was busy crowning a baby – damn it was uncomfortable.   I was convinced that I would go for my monthly visits to the OBGYN and he was going to tell me I was 10cm dilated at that point.  That’s sort of how it felt.

I would fall into a simulated coma at about 8pm.  My inability to sleep on any side would wake me up around 2 – 3am and then I would just stay awake.  Clearly this would do wonders for my rather death-induced look that proceeded to wash over me from about 11am each day.

Everything ached. As long as I was not moving it was great, but walking, sitting, standing and so on were decidedly uncomfortable.   I think Relaxin decided to loosen up my what-keeps-your-wee-in-sphincter – , some things are best not remembered.

You would think that by the third time around I would not sweat the small stuff and actually just take things in my stride.  I would say that clearly you do not know me.  I again started to stress that the baby’s heartbeat was not happening and and and and ……. Well back to my new best friends at as I could rent an electronic Doppler from them – how clever are those girls!!

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