Strange days and stranger nights ….

Okay, today is a weird day.  Today I have a fiancé, yesterday I had a partner.

Trust me, if you are choking on your granola right now, you have no idea what I am doing.  It has been s.i.x.t.e.e.n.  years. Seriously – sixteen years leading up to this moment!  I am still in mild shock – it is all a bit surreal.

I had long resigned myself to the fact that this was not going to happen – ever.  Kennith was going to turn around to me – whilst in the midst of his midlife crisis – and casually tell me that he was now going to shack up with an 18 year old and start wearing leatherette pants.  Myself and the kids can get the hell out of Dodge!  You know, because we weren’t married and all, he could do that.

So, here we are at a rather strange little moment in our lives.

I did insist last night that Kennith go and change his status on Facebook – first. The strange things that become important when you when you are going through a bit of a shock ….   He called me this morning to ask me why I have not changed my relationship status, and accused me of “leaving him hanging!”

Kennith asked me this morning if I felt different.  I am the world’s biggest cynic about these things.  Anyone who can attest to meeting me will know that I have had many unattractive things to say about the entire matrimonial process, but strangely I did feel a bit different this morning.

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21 Comments

  1. Wow! Congratulations! You guys have certainly thought it through and will be hugely happy, I’m sure. I remember how completely different I felt – not sure how to explain it. But it’s great. It’s so great. Hunter and I also had the adoption idea, but frankly at present the twins are giving us hell and there is no way in that very same hell that I am considering it.

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  March 26, 2010

      Thanks, yes it does feel different – also difficult to explain. But even in all the madness, the adoption desire has not gone away, it has just moved a little in my mind. Trying to be patient and wait for Kennith. It has only been 5 days, but the little voice in my head keeps going “are we ready yet!” “are we ready yet?”

      Reply
  2. John

     /  March 26, 2010

    Married or not, Kennith may still turn to those leatherette pants in a fews year…..

    CONGRATS again!!!

    Reply
  3. CHICK! How awesome is this 🙂

    Congrats!

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  March 25, 2010

      Thanks, yes it is pretty cool – talk about four seasons in a week.

      Reply
  4. Tania

     /  March 25, 2010

    i did choke on my jungle energy bar… CONGRATULATIONS… how wonderful!!!!! the fact that u’ve been together for so long, live together and have children together you know each other already and will be bypassing all those teething problems other couples have who do not share kids, home and years of experience together. it doesn’t mean it won’t be easier or u won’t have rough patches but you know that already. God Bless All 5 of You.

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  March 25, 2010

      Thanks, yes, not sure what will change, but anyway, its cool that it is happening.

      Reply
  5. Nicky

     /  March 25, 2010

    Exactly! At least give ask, and give me the option of saying no(I wont say no, lol)

    I must admit, people’s attitude’s do play a huge role in the whole thing as well- the more people have asked me about it, the more I want it!!!!! The thing is though, although my life isnt perfect, it’s not terrible,and we’r happy(mostly). But the more I moan and groan about the marriage issue, the worse I am making things….sigh sigh sigh

    So I will continue in my fantasy of a ring and a dress and a party, but try to stop talking about it!!

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  March 25, 2010

      You – Me – seperated at birth!!

      Reply
      • Nicky

         /  March 25, 2010

        Yip, and now just when I finally get someone in the same situation, you go and get engaged!!! Gives new meaning to “last (wo)man standing”!!!

        Reply
  6. The friend that made you do this..

     /  March 25, 2010

    To say that I choked on my coffee would be the understatement of the year – I had coffee coming out my nose, my ears, everywhere!! I know that this has been an issue for you for ages but I also know that once all the fanfare is passed you’ll still be the MacB’s to us! Lots of love and congratulations to you both xxx

    Reply
  7. I am so excited for you

    Jumping up and down (quitely inside myself). But you have to fill in the gap.
    Week end = raging fight
    earlier the week = weeping at the office between phone calls
    This morning = a fiance is aquired?!?

    Any way, hope you’ll share more info soon.

    (Engaged after 11 years)

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  March 25, 2010

      Thanks Joanne, it has truly been a roller-coaster week. I am still quite emotional about the adoption issue, but trying to accept that Kennith does need more time to think about it. He is much more cautious than I am – and at the end of the day, he is better with money and planning than me – which might explain why we are not in debt and at ye poor house!

      Reply
  8. Nicky

     /  March 25, 2010

    YOU GIVE ME HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    If you’ll remember, I too have a “partner” and he has said over and over again that he will never, ever, ever get married. So of course I’ve also resigned myself to it, and only recently started being “ok” with it. But now you’ve made me think there’s still a possibility!!!

    Congratulations!!!

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  March 25, 2010

      Thanks – it was totally out of the blue – totally! You know as an independent woman you think you are going to be so over this, and it does not matter – because I have been telling myself it does not matter for 16 years. But then it happens, and then you get all teary and think wow, it has happened. And you know, you like this idea more than you were willing to let on before ….

      Reply
      • Nicky

         /  March 25, 2010

        I’m already teary imagining what it would be like(I do tend to get ahead of myself, lol) It’s true about the independent woman stuff, but still I’ve always wondered “what the hell is wrong with me”. …but please, we want all the details!!!

        Reply
        • reluctantmom

           /  March 25, 2010

          I have used the exact same set of words “what the hell is wrong with me” over a thousand times or more ….. It is such an archaic practice – but somehow as a girl, is still this thing that is out there – that you want. Even with your independence and your ability to control the entire world, it is this thing that you want to go through. You just want to be asked! I know, it is so tragically against the entire feministic movement that it makes me embarrased …. but there it is.

          We still – for the most part – want someone to ask us, want someone to want to marry us. So though I fought the custom for years and poo-poo’d it as something I did not want, one day the yearning started and I realised that I did want to get married – and I wanted this guy to propose to me!

          Reply
  9. Wenchy

     /  March 25, 2010

    Please add me to your FB? mrst@mweb.co.za

    Dion and I got engaged after 2 years last August… and I also felt different.

    CONGRATS!!!

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  March 25, 2010

      Thanks – I am still in shock. People are asking me about rings, and wedding dresses, and wedding guests, and I am like – wow, let’s all just calm down a bit here people. It will probably be a home affairs ceremony and lunch at the Spur, so let’s calm it down a tad.

      Reply

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