While attending a book fair three years ago I bought a book that dealt with sex. It was not for me, though I am sure I could use it.
However I bought it so that I would not have to have the dreaded sex conversation with my kids. I am not exactly a prude, and have always thought I would be very matter of fact about this entire subject and not go and hide in the corner when this subject comes up.
There is something very unsettling about having your offspring stand in front of you all wide eyed and wonderful saying “What is sex?” I dare you not to cringe!
Connor started telling me a story yesterday that was so funny for him, that he could barely get through the introduction. I also realized that his laughter was embarrassed laughter rather than the kind that is usually is associated when someone makes a fart. Connor does love his butt humour.
So Connor is telling me that his mate, Devin, said that sex is when two people take their clothes off and you start rubbing the other one’s boobies! It is a fairly accurate description of foreplay for all intense purposes. So I sort of stood there- mildly embarrassed as I knew where this was leading. I also knew Pepe was listening and no doubt waiting to hear my response.
I heard the tick-tock-tick-tock of the clock on the oven, and hoped time would move really quickly so Kennith could come home and deal with this. Time it seems does stand still, even when not in the biblical context. Connor then asked: ‘So what is sex … exactly?”
I knew I had bought the book. I knew we had been through this issue – in a very scientific non-giggling way, but here it was again. Shit!
My brain was trying to work out how to change the subject. I went with the “we can talk about it later.”
Over supper – which was Steers burgers – yay diet!!!
I mentioned the incident to Kennith. Kennith tried to raise the subject with Connor but instead they started talking about the word “sexy!” It seems that it is quite a common word used at school and used in the same context as “awesome!” Like “I have just done a cool move with my skate board – sexy!” (or something to that effect)
I think when you are a mother/father to a boy and girls, the subject becomes quite a sensitive one. Instinctively (I think) dads want to say things and high-five their sons around this subject.
But when you know the same message is going to be heard by your daughters, I think you do sit back and rethink what your message should be.
This weekend, I plan to sit with Connor and Georgia and with the help of my very well illustrated hard cover book explain the process again.
I may need two or three glasses of wine to get me in the mood …