SARS makes my bum tight …

My friend Ronnie Earl just phoned me and acted like he was Peter Jackson from the South African Receiver of Revenue.

He then proceeded to tell me all about my tax problems and how I really needed to make an appointment and come in and see them.  All these issues dating back to 2007.

When I see the logo of the SARS on an envelop I break out into a cold sweat.  I deal with SARS by not opening the letters and putting them into the bottom right hand drawer of my desk and leaving them there.   I figure, ignore them and they will go away!!

So to have “Peter” on the phone from the SARS, and that was enough to actually make skid marks in my panties.  I was groveling and spluttering and basically promising him my first born, and I might have promised him your first born too.  It was sad, it was pathetic, it was me dealing with my worst fear without any warning.

At some point he gave the game away and said he will set up an appointment with his Cape Town Consultant Ronnie Earl, and then my already adrenaline-soaked brain went “hey”.

I then proceeded to tell him that I wished his scrotum sack burst and I really said some uncharitable things.

Cussing like a sailor in an open plan office does not increase my share price.  I work with people who apologise when they say “shucks” so my outburst will be addressed by HR soon.

So Ronnie, I wish you a narrow seat on an unstable Kulula flight – I hope you sit next to a large sweaty woman who has eaten garlic and has armpits that smell of onions …. you shmuck!!!

I will also be putting your email on a few porn sites so expect a bit of SPAM!!

Leave a comment

7 Comments

  1. Classic! Forgive me but thats a really good gag and you could thank him for awesome blog fodder…..or not?

    I have to say, I too, shove envelopes from SARS, in drawers. I have actually had somone come to my flarking door….you would swear I actually made money or something eh?!!

    Reply
  2. Mandi

     /  June 25, 2010

    Oh, my dear husband! Just remember I HAVE to live with this guy!

    Reply
  3. I share your fears! Shame on a “friend” (?) doing this to you!

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  June 24, 2010

      Nothing gets your juices flowing like a “fake”call from the receiver of revenue!!!

      Reply
  4. bwahahaha that is classic!!!!!

    Good luck with HR – they have stopped trying with me :-p

    Reply
  5. Joyce

     /  June 24, 2010

    Nevermind Missy, today’s blog was hilarious!!!!!! Especially if you know Ronnie Earl, the schmuck!! I can’t believe he did that!

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  June 24, 2010

      I have cursed him, so good luck flying cheap airlines – the shmuck!!

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: