Of days that are just too long …

So yesterday I go along to do the final fitting of the dress – it really is a “rok” so I do want to warn you.  Subtle and reserved is not a word one would use to describe this particular dress.

I am nervous now that I am drawing even more attention to myself … this entire wedding makes me feel very nervous, knowing people are going to be looking at me is a real issue … I appreciate the irony in it all, I really do.

I really do like the dress, but I did think yesterday that maybe I have gone a little overboard with this entire thing … it’s that post purchase dissidence thing that everyone talks about.

For a few moments I stood there and thought, can I just give all of this shite back, phone the marriage officer, tell him we were joking, cancel the flowers, phone the venue and say “listen about the seventeenth..” but could I keep the ring?  It suddenly feels all a bit exhausting and my excitement has waned.

I was standing there in big huge dress, silky shoes and some bling, and I am just thinking, maybe we should have kept this to a bring-and-braai wedding and scaled this all back a little bit.  Or maybe getting married is not that great an idea … run bride run ….

But here we are less than 17 days away, but I guess all grooms and brides get that moment where they think, you know, let’s just slow this bus down and think it over.  Like my friend Basil says, let’s all just calm the FEK down.

No doubt it will pass and I will be in the swing of it again, as I argue about the “right” cake and stress about the flower petals.

Earlier this week we went along to sign the pre-nup.  There really is something quite disturbing about the entire process.  It is all dealt with by lawyers and their minions and seems very pedestrian to them, while rather life changing to you.

They print out these pages that sort out issues about who will get granny’s silver service if you divorce, but it does not seem to discuss who will pay for the kid’s education and where they will live.

It also does not mention that I am in my full rights to stab Kennith in the groin with a blunt potato peeler if he has a mid-life crisis, buys a stupidly expensive bright small convertible car and suddenly had an enthusiastic interest in girls with names like Candy and Mindy, who have abnormally large breasts!

But possibly that was covered in the annexure, which I did not read as all the black print started to swim before my eyes.  I actually felt very overwhelmed by the entire experience, and did not enjoy it, no not one bit (thanks Cat in the Hat.)

We also made out our wills in the event that we get eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex while on honeymoon.

Equally disturbing, trying to decide who will get the toilet brush and have to endure Georgia’s Barbie stories, but there are decisions to be made, and sometimes, you need to sort of sit there act there like an adult (even if just remotely) and make decisions.

I really did not feel warm and fuzzy while signing and initialing all the forms.  To be honest I started to feel a little nauseous and well, less than excited by this entire thing.  Maybe I am just having a bad week and lawyers with abnormally large board room tables make me nervous.

My head really is not in a good place right now, and it has been a bit of an emotionally exhausting/draining week for several reasons – most of my own engineering.  The ante-nuptial paperwork crap did not help.

Standing there and seeing myself in the mirror in dress garb and thinking that maybe I do look a bit like a troll did not really help either.  Funny how one day you think you look like a fairy princess and the next you look like Billy Goat Gruff!!

On the up side, I thought yesterday was Monday – and while out with running guy realized it was Wednesday.  He reminded me that Steers has Wacky Wednesday, which would solve my “what to eat” problem.

He was right, I ran off there and ordered a Wacky Wednesday meal from Steers – fully kitted out in my sweaty running gear, and ate it totally guilt free.  I did order a Tab to balance it all out – the ying and yang and all that.

Leave a comment


  1. Elisabeth

     /  July 1, 2010

    Im new to reading your blog and im hooked! I can relate to a degree as i have a 7yr old, 4 year old and 2 x 2 year olds (twins). You are hilarious!!!

    • reluctantmom

       /  July 2, 2010

      Always glad to have a new reader … glad it strikes a chord …. you clearly have your hands full on your end – 2 x two year olds, my goodness me, I think there are award or medals or martyr graves for people like you!!! My goodness ….

      • Elisabeth

         /  July 3, 2010

        I still utter those words ‘My goodness’ at least 10x a day.
        It still hasnt sunk in yet 🙂

  2. Blame it on hormones, the weather, the dog (if you have one – if not use the neighbour’s), stress, lawyers (we should send them to the Wizard to have heart implants), it doesn’t matter. I’m sure you look beautiful in your rok and everything will be perfect.

  3. LOL Laura!

    I’m probably not the best person to give my opinion on the topic at the moment either being possessed by the same demon as Laura. I’d probably advise you to cancel everything and have a bring and braai and wear jeans and plakkies and serve everyone on paper plates so you don’t have to do the dishes afterwards.


    Every girl needs the rok and the hair and the make up and the cake and the flowers at least once in her life. You are having a moment, next time you put that rok on you will see a fairy princess.

  4. I am sure you are going to look breathtakingly beautiful. I also found that pre-nup part very distressing. Vague memories of almost storming out of lawyers offices are filed deep away in my mind.

    I have a great picture re. cheese/cupcakes – wont’s you please email me at rinagous@gmail.com – I can not find and email address to send it to you, Maybe it helps, maybe not at all.

  5. Vision

     /  July 1, 2010

    I really think you are going to look stunning on the day. Going for fittings is so different cause your hair isnt done and you are tired from work etc.
    And it is really normal to start feeling like why are you going to all the effort and it is just one day etc. etc. etc BUT you will be so THANKFUL that you did it!

    PS: What are you going to do with your AMAZING long hair for the day?

    • reluctantmom

       /  July 1, 2010

      I found a lovely hair and makeup lady who seems to just speak my language – she realises I do not want to be dolled up to the max. I thought I would leave it straight with some of it pinned up in the front. She had different ideas that required soft curls – with some hair pinned up and some softened curls falling down – really lovely. Again, not something I would have chosen, but sometimes it seems to be that letting other people make these decisions is better.

      We did a hair and make-up trial on Saturday and I was very happy with her … yay!!

      • Vision

         /  July 1, 2010

        That is awesome. It is the best when you find someone who listens and doesnt just ignore you and do their own thing!
        I think it will look stunning with a soft curl – you will look like Kate Hudson.
        Cant wait to see pics

  6. I blame this on mother nature – who I hate right now and want to stab her eyes out (really wanted to add a frik’n there but was scared you would delete my comment”

    It is solely her fault that we feel this was – TOTALLY! She sends frik’n (please dont delete me) hormones to frik’n mess us up totally.

    One day we are in control, awesome Sex in the City look a likes and the next day we look like escapees from WesKoppies!

    (Yes I am currently possesed by the PMS demon and have fought with everyone I love – all before 8 this morning)

    But anyway the point is I am sure you look AWESOME in your “rok”, the petals will be awesome and fall perfectly, the cake will taste like heaven as you each elegantly take a bite – it will all be perfect!

    (Just in case though I have put a hit on frik’n mother nature)


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