The Old Lady who lived in the shoe….

We had our friend H stay over with us on Sunday night, as he was en-route to some foreign location that seemed to fly via Cape Town.

H was our housemate when Kennith and I first moved in together – the best housemate ever.  He wasn’t there for 28 days of every second month, outstanding who could ask for better in a house mate?

H is married to C, and we were fortunate enough to attend their wedding nearly nine years ago.  They now live in Johannesburg with three kids – all under 5.

We were chatting about the logistics of coping with three kids.  H mentioned that he has had a vasectomy and was singing it’s praises. Kennith mentioned in a rather forlorn voice that he was not “allowed to get one.”

We spoke some more about the fact that though I was not actively seeking to have a fourth child, I did not feel ready to shut the door and throw away the key for good just yet.  Insert emoticon of Kennith’s rather concerned face right here.

When I am ready, then we can start cutting and snipping Kennith’s testicular plumbing to his heart’s content.   But for now, let’s just leave things as they are, for now.

H spoke about how he is over the entire baby stage and wants to have big kids now, and do stuff with big kids.

I really enjoy the baby stage.  We have the benefit of kids that have a fairly big age gap.  As the one was out of nappies and self-sufficient enough to go and wee, grab a bottle out of the fridge and go and watch a DVD to leave mom and dad in peace, we brought a new child into the house.  (Maybe the fact that they left us alone for a few minutes might explain why we had another child, but we can cover that in another post.)

H lamented that he is ready now to do grown up things without all the baby stuff.  I think Kennith might have high-fived him and chest-banged him in the kitchen in agreement.

I like the baby stage, I don’t think I am over it as yet.  Listen I get exhausted by kids, especially mine, and often try and hide away from them, so I understand that three kids are a stretch – really a stretch.

I also realize that our house is total chaos with kids, but sometimes I like our house.

This evening Connor, Georgia and Isabelle were in the bath together.  Kennith gave Connor and Georgia a bowl of ice-cream.  Isabelle was sitting in the middle of them.  She sat there while between bites Connor and Georgia gave her small spoons of ice-cream.  She was like a little sparrow in a nest between two mommy birds as they fed her little bits of ice-cream.  I thought that was really sweet and nice to watch.

Georgia and Connor got out of the bath and went to get jammies on.  Isabelle was now playing with the ice-cream dish and spoon and having a fine old time in the bath.

I wanted to help Connor with his homework.  I did not want to leave Isabelle in the bath by herself, and did not want to take her out as she was happy playing.  Mommy trying to be in two places at once.

Solution:  I got Connor to bring his homework into the bathroom.

He sat on the toilet seat (closed) and he did his homework, while I stood next to the toilet brush and helped him with his revision.

Isabelle was happily playing bowl-and-spoon, while Georgia was in the room chatting to her dad, and there I was doing responsible mom stuff.

I like our crazy house.

I would not be totally devastated if I pissed two lines on a stick, or a social worker arrived at my door and said “Here’s a baby look after it.”  (Listen I would totally freak out, but I would not be devastated.)

Excuse me, while I go and stop Kennith as he scrambles to double check that I have been taking my BCP.

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14 Comments

  1. All post vasectomy pain aside (which is still ever present after 9 months), when my kids turned 6 they started asking us to go get a baby. They get really excited when their baby cousins laugh at them or say funny stuff. On the flip side, it is great to take my kids all camping, and let mom have a weekend to herself.

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  August 28, 2010

      Next time you go camping, can you take Kennith and my kids – Kennith can get you a great deal on camping stuff ….

      Reply
  2. Hilary

     /  August 26, 2010

    This reminds me of that scene in the movie ‘The Back Up Plan’ where this one singel guy asks this father of 2 what its like having kids and he replies
    ‘It’s awful, awful, awful. Then a small moment happens, that’s so magical. that makes it all worthwhile.’

    I would say that’s an accurate description – those moments truly are magical and then… I will be having no 2 in Jan ’11 and am definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, ‘done’. For me 2 is a great number.

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  August 27, 2010

      That is a great reference – ‘It’s awful, awful, awful. Then a small moment happens, that’s so magical. that makes it all worthwhile.’

      I’d like to hear why for you it is final – and how you have been able to come to that decision with such finality. My issue is that even though I recognise that I have already got more than I can chew, I keep wanting to go back to the buffet!!!

      Reply
      • The friend that made you do it

         /  August 27, 2010

        I remember having the same conversation with my dh a few years back. As you know, pregnancies were always a nightmare for me and well, the rest is history. I, too, had the “maybe we should add another child to our household by other means” thought but he nipped it in the bud very quickly. His response was that “we can’t just keep having kids because we like little kids in the house”. At the time I didn’t really consider the full implications of another child, I just could have enjoyed another little person. But now, when faced with the astronomical cost of decent education, the latest gadgets etc, I am very grateful that we stopped at 2. Now I realise that I’m talking about material things here, but teenagers want material things and they’re damn expensive. I know what it felt like not to have what other kids had growing up and I didn’t really want that for my kids. I also know that good education, which unfortunately generally has a hectic price tag, is our number one priority and that had we had more children, that just wouldn’t be a reality for us. The children that we already have would have had to make the sacrifice. Not the right outlook for everyone, but something to consider.

        Reply
  3. The friend that made you do it

     /  August 25, 2010

    yes, blissfully happy moments, but don’t forget that you get to have awesome moments as they grow up too. Each new stage brings it’s own delights, living with a teenager I am beginning to discover them – cheek, smses at 3:30am, literally bleeding money, ah, the bliss….. the thought of having to go through that more than twice makes me ill….

    Reply
  4. I think I want 3 too. I don’t think that I should EVER let Kennith meet Andre.

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  August 25, 2010

      Rather be pregnant and then let them meet ….. but in Kennith’s defense he did say yes to a third before we moved forward on it, so he did come around to the idea.

      However I do think I am pushing that man further than he is willing to go by wanting a fourth!!!

      Reply
  5. Bevan Buck

     /  August 25, 2010

    LOL, I too find myself wishing my boys older and wistfully dreaming of getting back a resemblance of a social life…..but I know that when it does happen, I’m going to miss the times when I chased them as the tickle bunny and was seen by 2 pairs of adoring eyes as immensely strong and knowledgeable in all subjects.
    Why does our human nature not encourage us to just ‘enjoy the moment’ but always look backwards or forwards in time?

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  August 25, 2010

      Bevan said – “Why does our human nature not encourage us to just ‘enjoy the moment’ but always look backwards or forwards in time?”

      Such true words …. I struggle to stay in the moment.

      Reply
  6. Kennith

     /  August 25, 2010

    And then there is any trip in a car with 3 kids…and at this stage we are still lucky because only two of them are fighting with each other, while Isabelle is just happy hanging onto whatever toy she has until Georgia takes it away and then insert a howling/screeching sound into the picture. And here I am literally talking about the 4 minutes it takes us to drive to our neighbourhood Spur. Throw in a drive to Hermanus and we are lucky to make it there with more than just Isabelle in the car, because I have considered kicking Connor out at Somerset West and I reckon that Georgia is ready to hit the tar at about Kleinmond.

    Love the little monkeys, but really enough is enough now.

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  August 25, 2010

      I am thinking about “blocking” further comments from you ….. don’t you just melt when you see Isabelle though … and to think there is the possibility that will be all there is. I love the sticky hugs … and I am not sure I am ready to move on.

      Reply
  7. Tania

     /  August 25, 2010

    absolute blissfull happy moments there are, eh?

    Reply
  8. Tania

     /  August 25, 2010

    absolutely blissfully happy moments there definately are

    Reply

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