Armpits, tits and wine ….

I went along to book club last night.  I used to adore book club.  But in the last year or so, I have got a bit less enamored with it.  I still enjoy it, but I keep thinking do I really?

One of the reasons is that the group is just too big.  At the moment there are nine girls – there were eleven  not so long ago.  Nine girls is not really a group it is  more of a gaggle.

Every single girl in the group is unique and great, and of course you do not actually want to cull anyone.  But at the same time nine girls is just a bit chaotic when one puts them in a room, gives them wine and tells them to catch up.

What usually happens is that the group splits into two or three smaller conversations and the evening feels bitty and disjointed.   Even when we try to speak together about one thing, it really is all a bit loud and frantic.  Not in a too-much-wine-sort-of-fun way, more in everyone-is-trying-to-say-their-piece-and-you-actually-can-not-hear-everyone sort of way.

It is frantic, and actually makes me feel a bit stressed.  Which is probably not the ideal outcome when one thinks about drinks, great dinner, books and your friends – but that is how I have been feeling.

Last night there were only five of us at book club – I could not have been more excited!!

We sat down for dinner and it was brilliant.  We could listen to one person speaking and all get involved in one conversation.  The result is that everyone got to say something and we all got to have a laugh at the same thing.  It was one of the funniest most fun evenings I have had at bookclub in ages.

Laura had made the most divine dinner – something about chicken, lemon and capers and it was lick-the-plate-frek’n-good.  When the dinner conversation started to wind down, someone flashed their arm pit to show how free of hair it was.  I had not planned on dinner and a floor show, but one learns to adapt.

Unfortunately my under arms look reminiscent of what would find at a zoo, hanging off a branch. I went a bit quiet at the hope that the conversation would embark on a different direction.

What proceeded was arm pit showing, and discussions regarding body hair and methods to get rid of hair.  As usual Alice insisted that I go for a Brazilian – I am not sure what that girl’s obsession is with my arse being hair-free, but I have a name of someone who can do it for me ….

Once that was over and we had gorged on dessert, we moved to the lounge area to “do books.”

At some point someone commented that Claire’s breasts are looking really good.  Girls talk like this, it is very strange, but girls do.

Claire wasted no time in lifting up her shirt to show us her fabulous bra – Claire is a specialist underwear designer/buyer/finder person or something of the sort, so tits and bootie are her thing.

It was a lovely bra, and it really did make her appear to be exceedingly well-stacked.  We all had Claire’s-bra-envy.

Claire being a kind hearted soul, then took off her bra – as you do at bookclub.  Sue tried on Claire’s bra and came to show what it did for her girls.

Listen, I am not sure how your bookclub goes, but this is how we roll.  Sue showed us how the bra improved her profile and there was much pointing and rubbing.

Then Laura decided she would also try on Claire’s bra. At no point did this seem like a bizarre set of events, it just all seemed to be quite the norm.

We eventually “did books” – almost as an after  thought.  We ate our body weight in tumbles and winegums and then everyone did the two kiss cheek thing and we went home.

You know, I may not remember the books, but I do remember the funniest evening.  Laughing until tears rolled down my cheeks, and the power of a well fitted bra.

Great evening …

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13 Comments

  1. LOL

    That sounds like our infertility group!

    We discuss s*x and all sorts of things, not just feelings.

    I totally agree with you on group size – I also hate it when everyone’s chatting and you can’t properly absorb all the conversations. Feels a bit frustrating to me.

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  August 28, 2010

      Totally – that is why I struggle with the bigger groups. I walk away a bit dissatisfied – not enough individual attention – might explain why the idea of orgies do not really hold any appeal to me, but I am guessing that may be a different post all together!

      Reply
  2. Ah tumbles, a Bookclub staple. We are 11 and the ages range from in the 50s to in the 20s. Somehow it works really well, but truly, noboday has ever taken their bra of.

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  August 28, 2010

      It’s only a matter of time. I must confess thought that each week something bizarre happens – one of the group might confess something, or it comes out that her husband/partner has weird requests or what ever – nearly every month there is something new.

      Reply
  3. KennithB

     /  August 27, 2010

    Fortunately, at poker we just played cards, drank whiskey and smoked cigars, but on that particular night, I may have prefered your book club!

    Reply
  4. Nicky

     /  August 27, 2010

    Sounds like fun! Tell me,how did you get your bookclub started? I’d also like to start/join one, but I dont really know where to begin?

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  August 27, 2010

      I joined this one that has been established for more than 10 years. I joined through a friend who was part of it. My guess is that you can start one but you need about 5 – 6 people to get started. Ideally someone who has been in a bookclub before so understands how it works. It is really simple, but more about the chatting and the drinking wine than commenting on books.

      We get great books and go and read them – in some cases – but we do not actually talk a lot about books at the book club …. bras, underarm hair – yes, but not so much books.

      Reply
  5. Tumbles?! How could you!

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  August 27, 2010

      I know, I know. I felt like I was cheating on Chuckles. But I also felt that Chuckles knew how much I cared for him and how much I adored him – I have also recommended his attributes and have never turned him down, not once.

      But I was lonely, I was out with friends, there was wine. I said no – I really did. But then I had some wine gums … and they were okay. Everyone else was having Tumbles, and I thought, well I really do love Chuckles, but it might be okay to just have one Tumble …..

      It meant nothing, nothing …. I still love Chuckles ….. I am not sure if he will take me back ….. I do feel very ashamed …. but it really was just the one time, and it really meant nothing ….. I feel very embarrassed at this fall from grace ….

      Reply
  6. Sue

     /  August 27, 2010

    And get yourself correctly sized!!!!!!!!!! Claire took a squizz at me, rubbed her chin, frowned and declared that I am a size 34 D, when I have in fact been wearing a 36 B since my boobs were born! After getting over my denial I went out and purchased a delightful 2 pack of “T-shirt” bras from Truworths, in my correct size and all I can say is my girls have come out to play! Yay!

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  August 27, 2010

      Geez, your breastisis got totally fab – I almost whipped off my top and tried the bra on too … but then I had hairy arm pits, could not bear the thought of my stomach hanging over my waist band …. then it would have just got awkward.

      I will opt instead for a small change room with a huge flouresent light and some strange woman with a tape measure sizing me ….. sounds like a very exciting weekend ahead for me.

      Reply
  7. reluctantmom

     /  August 27, 2010

    I must send you a picture of this bra – it is fabulous …. I am so going to buy me some bras this weekend!!!

    Reply
  8. Joyce

     /  August 27, 2010

    ….. so I was reading your blog expecting to find out what make this special bra is and exactly where it can be bought. I can do with a bit of separate and lift! Come on!!!

    Reply

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