Me, my period and I…

LoriF is a mommy who chats on www.moomie.co.za.  She has a young son and has recently decided to start trying to conceive for her second.

I saw this earlier today and I thought it was laugh-tea-through-your-nose funny.  I asked Lori if she would mind me “copying and pasting” her post here as it really made me laugh – she graciously agreed, so here is a bit from my “guest blogger” LoriF titled “Me, my period and I…

So now that I am officially TTC I am having these crazy semi-delusional conversations with my body every month. Last night’s one went a bit like this:

Body: “So you really think at age 42 you can conceive a baby, really?”

Me: “uh yees..”

Body: “Well, let me tell you, you are so not pregnant” “Do you feel this heaviness, this is not a baby, this is a PERIOD!, take that”

Me: “uh does it have to be this bad?”

Body: “Yes, cause you need to know that you are pushing the boundaries here” So do you see that bump around your middle? That is not being pregnant, that is being bloated, take that”

Me, whimpering: “uuhm”

Body: “And do you feel these cramps, the kind that takes you back to when you were 17 and lying in bed with a warm water bottle, the kind you have not had since you were 17? This is how much you are not pregnant!”

Me: “Okay then do you see this big fat balloon shaped wine glass? Do you see this half a bottle of merlot? Do you see these big fat codeine filled tablets? This is the kinda cocktail I can put into you when I am not pregnant, so take that, you non-cooperative 42 year old body, take that!”