You might be an adult child if…

My new mate from chickendee.wordpress.com has given me some insight, bless her.

I heard the term “adult child” bandied around a few years ago while I was playing institution-institution. At the time I sort of parked it to the back of my mind, thinking that I had bigger issues to deal with other than going along to a group meeting and drinking really bad coffee.

This morning chickendee.wordpress.com emailed me a list of “You might be an adult child if…” and I looked through the list.

Initially I thought, I would mark the ones that applied to me, but then I realised short of three I was marking them all.

So though I am not a huge proponent of “cutting and pasting” to my blog, I really liked this list, and I probably could not describe myself better.

So ask yourself, are you an adult child if ….

You attend a party that you were invited to.  When the hors d’oeuvres  are passed around, you decline… so not to be a burden, certain everyone is watching you, and taking stock of how much you eat, what your wearing, how your acting. (It is funny but this is just the way it is, but at the same time exhausting being this self involved …)

You don’t use public restrooms… and if you do, you don’t make any noise if someone else is in there. (I am laughing now, I used to be at boarding school and did not use the toilet from Sunday night through to Friday afternoon.  When I was fetched on a Friday afternoon, I was shaking with the anticipation and shall we say build up.  If we had to stop on the way home to do shopping, it was excruciating!)

You turn down the volume on your car stereo at a stop light because you think the person next to you will judge your taste. (The only exception is if I am listening to Nickelback, or Prime Circle, then I have a bit of a “fek them” attitude.)

You eat an entire meal that you hate because you don’t want to hurt the chef’s feelings.

You always make sure everyone else’s feelings are taken into account before you even notice your own.  (I have notched this one up a bit, unless my needs are being totally ignored – consciously by me- or I am actually being inconvenienced in some way – usually by my design – I am not truly satisfied …. )

When you go through the drive-thru and get a sprite instead of the fries you intended to order, you would prefer to drive off with something you don’t want rather than risk irritating an employee. When you finally muster up the courage to point out the mistake, you can’t believe what a non-big deal it turns out to be!  (I have sent Kennith back into shops several times to get change when I have been over- charged, to get me the right thing …. and so on and so on…)

Your significant other is upset at something, and you ask what you did wrong.  (Sometimes I don’t ask, but I know I did something wrong, because really what else could it be, it is all about me!)

You play the “victim” role in order to get attention, and when someone asks you what is wrong you answer:- “Nothing.”

When you are legitimately sick and in need of rest, you painfully make the decision to call out of work, feeling guilty about it, and then when you call your boss…, you try to make yourself sound sicker…. cough, cough, sniffle, sneeze, wheeeeze… (I practice a bit before I make the call….)

You’re in active labor with your first child, but instead of calling your midwife you spend at least 30 minutes reading a book just to make sure that it truly is labor. You’re scared to wake up the midwife with a false alarm.  (I feel guilty every time I go to the doctor, even though my arm has fallen off and is being dragged behind me by a mucus thread, I still convince that I am making it up, and I am just bothering them.)

You figure you’ve only gotten one response to the topic you posted recently because it’s boring and nobody else can relate or you’re not suffering enough for people to sense this and answer, or you didn’t express yourself well enough. You want to go in and readdress it, but now apathy is taking over and you decide, “well, at least I got it out,” and decide to move on.

You are the last one to respond to a post and no one else responds, and you think:- “Crap. I angered them all. I was too honest, or too much, or not enough…”

You go out for lunch, get your order, then see that only tables for 4 are open, and start thinking that people are going to be upset at you if you sit there. But you sit there anyway, because there are no other tables, and look around wondering when someone else will go by and give you a dirty look.

You feel guilty for making your bed the “Lazy Way” by pulling up the bed spread and throwing pillows on top, rather then the way you were taught as a child, to tuck the sheets into perfect corners, and lay the spread OVER the pillows and tucked in.

When you are being introduced to someone, afterwards you don’t know their name, in fact you haven’t even heard it, because you were just too busy with how you behaved towards them, how you came across to the other person when you were being introduced.  (Is this phrase too long to have it printed up and put on a t-shirt, that I can wear ALL THE FLIPPING time?)

Even though you want to simply read a book, you feel obligated to talk to the person next to you. You end up listening and talking for most of the flight and sharing way too much personal information in an attempt to make this stranger “like you”.

You do everything in your power to be a good mom. In fact if someone mentions that they do this or that for their kids you immediately think you should probably do it too. Everyone tells you you’re a good mom, people compliment you on your children, but you lie awake at night feeling like a bad mother and promising yourself you’ll try harder tomorrow.

When you are in therapy and apparently telling such a sad story, it brings tears to the eyes of your therapist, and then you feel guilty about making her sad (while you’re paying her big time and it’s her job..)

If everything is going well, but you’re looking around wondering what’s going to go wrong next instead of just enjoying that everything is fine for now and now is all that matters for a moment!

If you wait to flush the toilet in a public restroom because you certainly wouldn’t want to disturb the lady in the stall next to you talking on the cell phone!

Someone offers to take you out to dinner at the restaurant of your choice, and you base your decision on where you think they would like to eat and let them know that if that’s not okay, then we can go somewhere else instead.

When members of management at work go into a closed door meeting in one of their offices, you automatically think they’re plotting your demise.  (Oh my heavens, see early Facebook comment regarding my persecution complex last week.)

You’re at work and you hear someone laughing a few cubicles over and assume they’re making fun of you. (This statement is totally incorrect, because I know for a fact that they are making fun of me.)

You think that every time someone honks their horn that they’re honking at you and they’re angry, even if you know you’re not doing anything wrong.

You approach your child’s teacher in the morning to chat for 3 minutes because your daughter is struggling with a certain subject and you need help. She readily agrees and offers your child free extra help after school.  You walk away after only chatting for 3 minutes feeling you took up too much time and am a burden to the teacher and probably the most painful mother in the class. (Or you can just save her the burden and not approach her about anything ever, that is also a good tactic I find.)

How many adult children does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: None… they are all waiting for the light bulb to change.

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Some days are a marathon …. or just a half marathon …

So I get this email yesterday, and the persons responsible is Kennith.

Clearly he read the blog post and decided if I showed any glimmer of running a half marathon he probably felt he was going to do the “strike while the iron is hot” thing.

So I get this email:-

—————————-

From: 2011@TwoOceansMarathon.org.za [mailto:2011@TwoOceansMarathon.org.za]
Sent: 09 November 2010 13:43
Subject: Old Mutual Two Oceans Marathon : Entry Accepted[AntiVir checked]

Dear CELESTE *****

Your entry in the Old Mutual Two Oceans Marathon 2011 21 km Half Marathon has been CONFIRMED on 09/11/2010 at 13:43:04.

Your final race details are as follows:

Name            : CELESTE *****

ID Number       : 7205090******

Passport Number :

Date of Birth   : Tuesday 09 May 1972

Gender          : Female

Nationality     : South Africa (RSA)

Club            : Temp (Western Province)

Category        : Age 20-39  (Gasp, I clearly made it into the young one’s group, but only just.  i think it might be better if I was with the older crowd though, because I think I am going to look pretty tragic next to a 25 year old runner in her prime.)

Race            : 21 km Half Marathon (What the hell!!  Is a half marathon really twenty flipping one kilometers, that seems a tad long to me. I take snacks if I am going to drive more than 10 kilometers in my car.)

Race Number     : 52454

T-Shirt(s)      : 1 (Large) (And here is the part where I went “What the fek!” A LARGE T-shirt.  Now I am offended that Kennith did not think he could or should order me a medium!  I might just be offended enough to boycott this stupid run.)

Seeding         : E (Is that good – are are there F and G seeds behind me?)

RaceTec Chip    : Will be in your race pack at Registration (Whoop, whoop a goodie bag – a girl loves a bit of swag.  Though I am suspicious it will be crammed with healthy things rather than wine and chuckles.)

Race Date       : Saturday 23 April 2011

Start Time      : 06:00 (Sheez, that is going to mean I will have to get up frightfully early on that morning, right there is a huge concern. Good grief 6am to be there, that will mean I am probably up around 4am!)

Start Venue     : Main Road, Newlands

Finish          : Upper Campus Rugby Fields, University of Cape Town, Rondebosch

Payment Type    : Credit Card (Internet)

Payment Ref     : 116390

Total Cost      : R 394.00 (Seems like a lot of money just so I can run on a public road.)

Runners must register before the race to receive their race packs (numbers and related items including a goody bag). Registration will take place as follows:

Good Hope Centre, corner of Sir Lowry Road and Oswald Pirow Street, Cape Town

Wednesday 20 April 2011, 10:00 – 19:00

Thursday  21 April 2011, 10:00 – 19:00

Friday    22 April 2011, 09:00 – 19:00 (Expo only closes at 17:00)

NO NUMBER COLLECTION ON SATURDAY MORNING (RACE DAY) BEFORE THE RACE.

Please bring the following with you to Registration:

– A printed entry confirmation

– Your ID document, passport or drivers licence

– Your RaceTec timing chip (if you already own one)

NO CHANGES WILL BE PERMITTED AT REGISTRATION AT THE GOOD HOPE CENTRE.

All the best with your preparation towards the race.

Regards

– Two Oceans Marathon Administration

http://www.TwoOceansMarathon.org.za

+27 21 657 5140/1/2

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So, there we are, it is now done!

I must confess that my running buddy Alice has been so quiet, I can hear the crickets chirping in the distance.

Do they still sell those satin type running shorts with the slip up the side of the leg?