I snot laughed today….

You know the kind, where you are sitting there quietly minding your own business, and someone sends you something that you read, and then you laugh so hard that your mouth does not have time to open, but the force of the air that should come out of your mouth, is now channelled through your nose ….. and in some cases this results in a speck of snot being flung out of your nose.

Awkward in an open plan office, but well worth it for the joy factor.

My blog friend (who I adore) wrote this post  and was kind enough to email me the link, and I share it with you because it is so damn good and I am jealous that I did not write it, and I do think it is high time I introduced a new Blogger to you.

Drum roll please ……… introducing the divine and brilliant ….

Tampons and other adventures

I am in a foul mood today. I could really just kill bunnies.

My body is still in recovery mode from pregnancy & birth. The entire c-section area is still tender to the touch. So tender that I still cringe while buttering myself up with Bio oil every night, out of desperation. Obviously it is not making a difference. I don’t know why I keep doing it to myself. My boobs are getting bigger and bigger, and I fear for when I stop breastfeeding. I fear that I may have to tuck them in to my pants when all is said and done.

I have no control over anything that my stupid body is doing. I am annoyed with it. Thus I am annoyed with every object and person within 2 meters of me.

This morning, after a year of absence, Aunt Flow came back in to town. Words cannot describe my resentment at my life and my uterus at this point. I am snappy. Unfortunately for Graeme, he is at the receiving end.

I asked him to pop by the pharmacy this evening. I gave him a list that he seemed apprehensive about. Things he might be shy about paying for at the check-out counter. But at this point, I had no patience for boyish reserves.
“Get tampons, Milton, another NUK bottle, Nurofen and pick up my pill”
He left looking unsure.
I always keep my phone on me once he leaves the house, because he will call to ask something. Always. It doesn’t matter why he has left the house. He will phone me to assist him with something that he is obviously incapable of doing on his own. I could ask him to get milk and he will phone me 20 minutes later wanting to know something about compost. I am not joking.

So he leaves the house to get the tampons etc. Fine.

Phone rings on schedule.

G: “They don’t have those latex bottles”
N: “OK” ( I am seriously wondering what solution he was hoping to get from me. Maybe he thought I could call NUK head office in Germany and ask them why that store does not have latex in stock. Really? WHY is he phoning me?)
G: “Do you think they will give me your pill?”
N: (Officially out of patience) I don’t know Graeme. Why don’t you ask THEM if they will give you my pill?”
G: “It’s just… I”m already in the queue and I don’t want to go back to the counter for nothing”
N: At this point I wished I was recording the conversation, so that I could play it back to him should I ever find myself impregnated again. Just so I can tell him that it happened because he was too lazy to stand in a queue. Instead, I did the mature thing, and hung up.

You can read more from happyduck at http://littleandbunny.blogspot.com/

She is brilliant, once you start you will be hooked!