Winner winner chicken dinner …..

I get excited when I find a half full bottle of wine in the fridge, so I get pretty excited about a lot of things.

Yasmin – bless her cotton socks – gave me some props on her Blog and awarded me (even in the face of heavy and far more deserving competition) two fabulous awards..

A “Lovely Blog Award” and the nearly as lovely “The Versatile Blog Award”.

I had a very long acceptance speech planned, but I was reminded that there will be no awards dinner nor free wine on offer with these awards.

Granted I was a bit disappointed, but I bought myself some wine, because a girl needs wine.

On that subject.  Is it wrong to buy bottles of wine at Pick ‘n Pay and put it into your 5-year-old daughter’s “kids trolley” and her wheel it around the store for you?  I decided it was totally appropriate….but I must confess that the amount of tsk-tsk’s I was getting, did indicate a different public opinion leaning in the other directions, but moving along.

That being said, I bought my own wine, ate a square of fudge made by my co-worker and that really is about as good as an “awards dinner” can get, I think.

I have also been informed that the “rules for acceptance” are:

1. Choose five (or more) other people who deserve this award and pass it on.
2. Tell 7 facts about yourself.
3. Let the people you gave the award to know.
4. Thank the person who gave you the award.

First:  Choose five (or more) other people who deserve this award and pass it on.

I assume this needs to be limited to blogs.

I must confess that I make the 101 Blog Etiquette error and that is that I do not follow blogs daily.

What I do is have a weekly binge fest.  I pop along at some point, maybe 2am when I cannot sleep, or when I am sitting in a room with lots of porcelain and find myself alone, too “other wise detained” to have a book, and I open my phone and read up about what I have missed.

It is difficult to narrow it down to “who deserve this award” so I am going to opt for “who jumped into your head immediately” and go with that.

I think these things are always nice to introduce people to other blogs and that is never a bad thing.

So my 5 blogs that I want to introduce you to (in no particular order and also apologising to the 55 I was not able to add to this list – I do however have a blog roll on my page and I also follow those blogs rather religiously and often in awe) are:

Raising Men – the funniest and one of the most talented all around chicks I have come across.  I heart her a great deal.

Fear of Missing Shit – I really enjoy this blog, but this blogger needs a kick up the rectum and to be told in a firm voice to get off the couch and blog more, because she is so damn good at it and is so funny she makes me snort.

Being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic or Two – profound blog, and such a great writer, with so much real life experience oozing through this blog.  She offers so much in the way of life lessons and really shows you that you can heal yourself, one blood soaked step at a time.

Whiskey in My Sippy Cup – my find of the week.  Hysterically funny blog and I do love people who cuss.  In her About page she writes “She grew poor, white trash in a part of the country where the only way you could be poor is if you were also black, so she never really liked white people all that much and can braid like a motherfucker.”  I might start stalking her – I will try to poke her on Facebook and see how that goes.

Dooce – I forgot how good Dooce was, and then Jana reminded me.  I saw this post – and now I am a rampant fan.  Finding a great blog you used to follow is like finding money in your pants that you threw in the wash – it is money, but money that makes you really really happy – like the prodigal son.

Secondly:  Tell 7 facts about yourself.

To quote Finn from Great Expectations:  I’m not going to tell the story the way it happened. I’m going to tell it the way I remember it.

Fact 1 : I always count people’s toes – always.  I am obsessed with finding a person with 6 toes on their one foot.

Fact 2 : I have three birth marks, one large and dark one on my side, a light one on my right shoulder and a light one on my right knee.   My side birth mark made me feel very embarrassed growing up, and I never wore anything that would reveal it. Now I do not realise it is there, until my youngest attempts to wash it off in the bath.  She has been washing the same spot for ages.

Fact 3 : I smell things.  I smell clothes I want to buy and pretty much anything.  When I pick something up as part of my evaluating process I smell things.  In stores I try to look like I am putting the fabric up against my cheek to feel it, but the reality is that I am smelling it.  I do this with things that technically do not have a smell i.e. crockery.

Fact 4 : I love beetroot, but cannot eat my food if beetroot has touched it.  The result is that I never bought it.  I now do on occasion and eat it on a side plate with my food.  I do not like my food touching my other food. I like to eat my food separately, and this is partly why I am not a stew fan!

Fact 5 : I chew gum like a smoker would smoke a cigarette.  I keep a pack in my bag, and when I feel stressed, I take out a gum square, chew chew chew, then I feel less stressed and throw the gum away.  Unfortunately chewing gum heightens my sense of anxiety, so it is a bit of a lose-lose situation.

Fact 6 :   I can’t say the word “reality: without thinking of Mitchell’s Plain schoolteacher and Big Brother housemate Janine Orderson (fast memory rewind: first SA big brother, appalling primary school teacher who in her “talent” act showed how to perform a blow job on a cucumber ….total TV Fail Moment.)  She used to pronounce the word “reeeee-a-lit -tea” in such a particular way, that I always mentally mimic her when I have to use the word.  I do think of her regularly and see she is on Facebook if you are keen to hook up with her.

Face 7 : I spell “their” and “friend” incorrectly all the time without the aid of spell check.  I can spell a myriad of words but for some reason “their” and “friend” I get wrong nearly every time.

Fact 8 : Bonus fact – for you who have endured this post. I was photographed to appear in the Huisgenoot Mooi Magazine due for publication shortly (it went to print on Friday.) I am mortified and embarrassed as I was jumping around the studio doing things that I would normally not do without the aid of copious amounts of alcohol, and a departure of good sense. (Departure of good sense was present, alcohol was sadly not).

3. Let the people you gave the award to know.

Tick, done.

 4. Thank the person who gave you the award.

Tick, done

<note the rules did not say I could not amend/improve/update the look of the ‘award badge’ so I have taken the liberty of doing this – if however anyone wants to keep the “original” they are available to be grabbed on Yasmin’s Blog ,  or you can grab the ones here, or you can email me and I will send you better quality jpegs to use… totally your call>