The Naked News …. no really ….

Okay, Kennith knew I was going to do a post about this.

He also indicated that the truth and what I say on my blog is not necessarily the same thing.  However  in this  instances everything is the truth, so help me ….. and then I take a seat in the witness-box.

This morning I walk into the room, and I look at the television – and there is a woman with not a hint of wardrobe doing the news.

Nope, nothing suspicious about that.

I had heard about the “Naked News” – Kennith and I both listen to 567 Cape Talk and John Maytham had mentioned it earlier this week.

The point is some one had reported it to the broadcasting police as being something so offensive and moral corrupt, well that it was just bad.

The BCCSA (Broadcasting Complaints Commission of South Africa) then said, and I para-phrase: “Listen Granny Murray, if you do not like it switch the fkn channel and watch something else.  If a woman feels that the job she wants is to read the news without her clothes on, with a well waxed bikini line, then let her. There is absolutely nothing degrading to women at large in reading the news naked.  If she is not fornicating or trying to pimp herself and it is after 11pm, when all good children should be in bed then it is fine. If you do not like it, just flick the goddamn channel.”

I heard the comments and it did occur to me that it was odd that people read the news in the nude, and then I thought or Riaan Cruywagen or Debroh Patter in the nik, and then I just felt awkward, and pushed the thought out of my mind.

However it would appear that Kennith is a different animal.

So back to my story – or my rendition of it.

I walk in to the room this morning and the Naked News is on.

I know this for two reasons: 1.  There was a naked girl (like totally naked) reading the news and 2.  There was a black and red banner on the screen telling you it was the Naked News.

I looked at it and then looked at Kennith, and asked the rhetoric question (with a slightly raised eyebrow): “What ARE you watching?”

Kennith goes: “The Naked News…”

Me: “Mmmm, I see that.”

I think for a few moments ……

Me: “Okay, but what is it doing on our television at 08h30…?”

Kennith: “I PVR’d it….”

Me: “You PVR’d the Naked News….seriously?”

Kennith: “Yes, they were talking about it on CapeTalk and I wanted to see what it was about…”

Me – looking at the television again: “Well it is clear what it is about ……… it is called the Naked News…”

Kennith:”I started watching it last night and started to fall asleep, so I PVR’d it to watch it this morning….

Me: “It is the Naked News, surely if you watched it for a few moments it might be ……… <Kennith cuts me off>

Kennith: “Shit, I just missed that…. I have to go back to see it again….”

Me: “What?”

Kennith: “There was a naked girl reading the news on a trampoline….”

Me: “Oh my gawd, seriously… you are rewinding to watch a naked girl jump on a trampoline?”

Kennith – in a very defensive tone – : “I am only watching this because they spoke about it on CapeTalk and I wanted to see what it was about… shit, where is that piece now ….. damn I can’t find it …..”

Me: “Kennith, you PVR’d the NAKED FKN NEWS …….and now you are rewinding in slow frame by frame so you can see a girl bouncing on a trampoline reading the news ………. seriously?”

I then felt I wanted to explain that if he walked in to the room and I was watching the Naked News as done by men, and I was violently rewinding on the PVR to watch a naked man with his p.e.nis sticking out jump on a trampoline, this entire morning might be a different conversation … bu somehow this entire situation is not a problem in his head.

But then I just got too tired for that and though I might just go to the toilet instead, because really he had PVR’d it and all.

Later in the day after our many many fights about Kennith playing computer games/iphone during suicide hour.

I chirp: “What was the statistic they mentioned in the Naked News about the amount of divorces attributed to the men playing computer games?”

Kennith: “……………..”

Me: “What was the statistic for divorce?”

Kennith: “You know I did not actually hear them say anything.  Were they actually reading the news?”

Me: “……………..”

A few moments pass ………

Kennith: “17% percent, I sure it was 17% percent………..”

No, it was 10% but nice guess.

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27 Comments

  1. Scared & Imperfect Mother

     /  June 29, 2011

    hahahaha celeste you just made my day!!!

    Reply
  2. John B

     /  June 29, 2011

    Celeste, i woe you a huge gratitude. having been away for 5 weeks, i was not aware of this, but will go look for it tonight. thanks for teh heads up.

    as for all men being the same – probably a decent observation. at least we are consistent and even keeled in our “man’s world”

    Reply
  3. julz

     /  June 28, 2011

    This is why I want t ability to be invisible. Would love to have been the fly on the wall for this one!!!!

    All those boring men are going to have lots to chat about at dinner parties now with the sudden keen interest in current affairs.Their quotes may not be accurate but who cares.

    Love it Celeste!!! You go Kennith. (Can you tell I am all for porn??)

    Reply
  4. Joyce

     /  June 27, 2011

    Well, he was clearly not watching it for the NEWS, because by the time he watched it it was old news again! 🙂

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  June 27, 2011

      Clearly ….. I do think the girl on the trampoline was a bit of an unexpected, yet delightful, surprise for him.

      Reply
  5. Raising Men

     /  June 27, 2011

    Your pictures are all the same size. Just saying.

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  June 27, 2011

      Its my OCD – you know, tick the blocks, ensure my pixels are organised ……

      Reply
  6. This post is SOOOO funny! I just laughed out loud in a very serious court case!
    What channel is it on?

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  June 27, 2011

      Free E – who else would have it on. I have no idea when, my guess is Saturday night! I will ask Kennith, he seems to be the resident expert on it.

      Reply
  7. Oh you made your point well girl! Freaked out a bit by the idea of Riaan Cruywagen nekkid.

    Reply
  8. Sharon

     /  June 27, 2011

    Call me a granny but personally I find it offensive. I’m so sick of being a woman in a man’s world. The whole world is just one giant boys club and I’m so over it. And I think its sexist. Just to prove that its not sexist, they should show some dude with his dick sticking out doing the news!

    Reply
  9. To Love Bella

     /  June 27, 2011

    Menpeople are such funny beings. I am convinced that they are ALL the same – they just LOOK different!!
    Do they have men doing this Naked News thing?

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  June 27, 2011

      No …. but that being said I only watched a small part of it ….. I really cannot imagine too many things worse than Riaan Cruywagen naked reading the news …. he would have to stand as sitting behind a desk sort of makes it rather pointless …. cringe …. it really is all too disturbing …..

      Reply
    • Sharon

       /  June 27, 2011

      TLB – no naked men, only naked women!

      Reply
  10. It seems to me that our husbands have more in common than we think.

    Except that now Andre has to pvr The Naked News again so that he can see the girl jumping on the trampoline naked, reading the news. I mean isn’t that something that has to be seen to be believed?

    Ho hum.

    Reply
    • Oh! And Andre’s review of it was that “none of the girls are hot”.

      So there you have it.

      Reply
      • Claire

         /  June 27, 2011

        My hubby’s comment was also “Pity they are all so ugly”

        Reply
      • KennithB

         /  June 27, 2011

        Tough call, I don’t remember a single face…I was listening to the news after all!!

        Reply
  11. I asked my husband to record it for me as well! He’s already seen it a couple of times, apparently!
    I will go and watch tonight 😉

    Reply
  12. Bevan

     /  June 27, 2011

    Watched it sometime last month, yawn.
    Kennith, you legend for PVR’ing it.

    Reply
  13. I actually did hear about this on the radio but didn’t realise it was the actual news. I am not sure I see the point really? It is an interesting way to deliver bad news though – “And in other news the world is about to end” – said by a naked lady bouncing on a trampoline

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  June 27, 2011

      Yes, there are several subjects that will just not be so …… heavy …. when being delivered by a naked woman on a trampoline!!

      Reply
    • KennithB

       /  June 27, 2011

      the girl on the trampoline was not reading the news…she was giving trampoline exercise training…news and good health – what a show!

      Reply
  14. OMG you are the funniest thing on the interweb, srsly! I love your blog and regularly read it out to my mom, depression and all. Thank you so much for writing.
    Shirley

    Reply
  15. Countess

     /  June 27, 2011

    you can take men out the kennels but…..they’re all still dirty dogs! in fairness to Kennells, oops I mean Kennith, at least he was brazenly open about it and watching it front of you. A complete honest man. congratulations, you have a normal husband! (i think it’s amusing actually)

    Reply
  16. Really? Naked News? I have heard of it, but must admit Hubby hasnt hopped onto it yet. Probably coz we dont have PVR. Or just coz we end up forgetting about it. And I say “we” coz inevitably I will end up being just as interested coz clearly my life sucks and I have nothing better to do! haha!

    Reply

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