Exchange Tags on kids ……

I have permission to use this as a guest post.

I read it and I guffawed with laughter, and really I could not have said it any better as to what happens in the middle of the night – so here is her story:

So, its 3AM and sleep seems to be the furthest thing from Karen’s mind.

I am rocking, patting, singing, practically dancing at times, but nothing is doing the “trick”.

And mommy really, really wants to sleep.

So, sleep deprivation causes my mind to think some strange things, I am checking her toes just to make sure I haven’t missed it because it’s GOT to be there.

That little “Exchange Tag” that reads: “If you are not entirely satisfied with this product, please return it for a full refund”. The full refund seemed really appealing at 3AM this morning – my refund would be: My size 10 figure back, (not great, but better than this), boobs that would pass the pencil test, a flat tummy that does not double up as a map to “wish I knew where”.

And most appealing, 100’s of hours of sleep that I have missed out on in the last 10 months – bliss.

But I looked and looked, and alas, there was no tag.

So I patted and patted some more and then rocked and rocked some more until eventually at 4:30AM, she decided that sleep was not a bad idea after all.

So, I stumble into my room and DH is looking decidedly “happy” to see me (and I am not getting this idea from his facial expression) although he does have a ridiculous smirk on his face.

And thinking, “Hell NO!”

I start looking frantically around the room, checking all the corners and he goes: “what you looking for love, come and lay down” while patting my spot in the bed beside him, and I go: “I am looking for Leon Shuster’s Cameras, I must be on Candid TV because you have GOT to be kidding me!”

Sometimes men really have NO idea!!

Then, just before I left for work this morning thinking that I was not going to get to say goodbye to Karen today because obviously NOW she was sleeping, I heard her calling: “Mum, Mum”.

I peeped into her room and she was standing in her cot holding her arms out and as I got closer, she pouted her lips and gave me a big fat kiss <aaaaaaaaaaaah>, I’m glad she didn’t come with that tag after all.

* names have been changed


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