Formaldehyde and other musings ….

I have recently returned from my “running away from home” episode.

Granted I did not actually leave my suburb for my medical care, so really it was not running particularly far.  And to be blatantly honest Kennith dropped me off.  So it was more “being dropped off” than “running away.”

It was a bit surreal to be “around the corner” from where the rest of my life appeared to be carrying on, but with me no longer in the starring role.

Several people have asked “How have the kids been?”

Thank you for enquiring.

As much as I would love to beat my chest and milk this for all it’s worth, they have been pretty much “unscathed” “unawares” “un-rattled” by my absence.

This of course does raise all sorts of questions regarding my importance Iin my children’s lives.

Considering I was away for nearly three weeks and got a cursory “Hey mom, are you sleeping over at the house tonight?” on my return did sort of burn.

It does make me suspicious that the “apron strings” are possibly not as secure or absolute as I initially thought.

I would like to congratulate Kennith and I on having well-balanced and secure children who are able to function even if mom is “unforeseeably detained.”  This may bode well as we suggest boarding school in the not too distant future, and longer holidays away from home sans children.

That is what I am taking from this experience at any rate.

I am on a fair supply of medication and combined with a very dutiful psychiatrist and psychologist I seem to be making some headway.

I am not sure in which direction, but I leave that to people I pay at an exhorbitant hourly rate to think about on my behalf.

I am gauging I am making some progress by their faint smiles and slight inclinations of their heads.  I do jump to far too many conclusions which are always rather pessimistic and somewhat fatalist in nature, and often cause me undue stress.

Adding it to my “to do list” of things to work on.

On another matter …

Connor brought a dead snake home after a play date.   I am not sure of this new custom, but I plan to be giving small dead animals to all the little boys who come over and play at my house from this point moving forward.

Driving yesterday Kennith asks me “How can we preserve a dead snake?”

Why I should know this piece of information say versus him, was not clear.  But having a uterus and a quick wit, and I suggested formaldehyde.

The go-to-chemical for most things I would presume if it is somehow connected to death and lifeless children’s playthings.

Kennith tut-tutted me and said he was sure paraffin or thinners would work equally well.  I rolled my eyes and looked out the window.

Kennith is a bit of a bargain hunter.  If the “real” stuff is R25.00, he will find a way to use a R5.00 stuff and get the value out of it.    Or better, purchase the R25.00 stuff and bargain the seller down to R5.00 and get
him to throw in a boerewors roll.

This principle cannot be applied to shoes, for which Kennith has an Imelda-Marcos-obsession.

No price is high a price for shoes that look practically identical to me, to the other few dozen/hundred he has already in his wardrobe.

Every time he comes home lovingly fondling a pair, trying to explain to me why this style is technically more advanced than the other 200 he has, I tend to glaze over.

But back to the dead snake.

I think Kennith googled and it seems formaldehyde is just the thing (the only chemical suitable) to preserve the dignity of a dead snake.

Interesting fact – chemists do stock it, but you need to pre-order it and it takes 2 – 3 weeks.

In the event that you want to preserve dear old gran, just remember to pre-order sufficient formaldehyde else you will be in for a nasty supply problem, and risk a smelly old person in your lounge.

Regarding the snake, I suggested I did not think it was a good idea to keep a dead snake, in a glass jar, in formaldehyde in our house, with a two-year old, who already unscrews things and regularly drinks my contact lense solution.

But I was vetoed. And we drove to a 24 hour chemist.

Fortunately the gods of the chemist were on my side, and they did not hold formaldehyde in stock, though were happy to order it.  Strange much?

Hopefully by tonight the dead snake is either in our large dustbin or given a pauper’s funeral in our back garden.

But I am sort of back from the dead.

I am still very out of step with “real life” and trying to acclimatize to appear normal.

One day at a time. Right?

<I really want a t-shirt like this>

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9 Comments

  1. Adele

     /  September 21, 2011

    Welcome back, missed you!!

    Reply
  2. Coco

     /  September 21, 2011

    Welcome back! One day and one step at a time, it will all “fall” in to place!

    Reply
  3. “Connor brought a dead snake home after a play date. I am not sure of this new custom, but I plan to be giving small dead animals to all the little boys who come over and play at my house from this point moving forward.”

    Totally with you on this. Only upside is that the snake was dead and not still alive!

    Reply
  4. Its good to have you back! that is all!

    Reply
  5. Grizelle

     /  September 20, 2011

    Hi Celeste

    Remember me? Your crazy roommate from the nuthouse. Thought I was cured when they “released” me, but today a simple visit to the physio psyched me out so bad I am so gonna down a double shot of whiskey (i hate those stuff) before bed. Had the silliest idea of asking my mom to let the baby sleep over. I think mom doesn’t trust me with her precious child… she BBMs every ten minutes to hear if I’m ok and that I must wait for Zane before I bath her. Would I be capable of drowning her????

    Good luck with the snake. I would book myself right back in if Gia brought home a dead snake.

    P.s you’ve inspired me to blog. Just thinking of a catchy name, because Dear Diary is too much effort. LOL

    Reply
  6. JoDon

     /  September 20, 2011

    I know this is not what you want to hear but why don’t you freeze the snake till you get the formaline? Lol!

    Reply
  7. welcome back. giggled a bit at Kennith fondling a new pair. Yes, i’m probably childish and a dirty bitch to boot..

    Reply
  8. Scared & Imperfect Mother

     /  September 20, 2011

    Welcome back chick. I’m sure Kennith paid them to be not all over you on your return. The dead snake part still freaks me out, but okay go with it.

    One day at a time chick. no point in looking to the future as it cannot be predicted!

    Glad to have you back.

    Reply
  9. Welcome back.
    Have missed you. Have also been thinking of you and mentally sending strong vibes your way. It probably doesnt mean much but just know that you were in my thoughts.

    🙂

    Reply

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