Get the fuck out of my room …

I am sure we all remember the mania that was Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book written by American author Adam Mansbach and illustrated by Ricardo Cortés.

What’s not to love?

In case you were born under a rock, and missed it entirely, feel free to download the pdf from here.  Better yet buy a copy for that special someone for Xmas.

Kids have had their revenge and this poem is floating around.  I think we can all feel a tad on the guilty side when we go through it, and realise, yep, I do that <shameful expression!>

The poem is Get the fuck out of my room with illustrations by David Gothard and words by Eric Adams, Steve Belanger, Adam Campbell, and Bill Phillips.

Father, oh father, why are you so mad?
I’m just a little kid—I’m not trying to be bad

Yet every night, you cuss under your breath
It’s almost as if you think that I’m deaf

Yes, I get it, your life has so changed
But that’s no reason to start acting deranged

1 out of 3 kids doesn’t live with a dad
Now I know why—some fathers are pathetic and sad

I know you welcomed me into your life
After carefree coitus with your career-minded wife

Now you’re both exhausted and seem only to argue
Is it my fault? Really, what should I do?

Here’s an idea: Relax and have a beer
And let me solve our little problem by being the man here

Did you know that I’ll fall asleep 40 percent faster
If you create a bedtime routine that I can master?

Didn’t think so, and there’s another benefit I’ll cite
With a routine, I’ll sleep an extra hour each night

And if I shut my eyes nightly for 10 hours of peace
Research shows I’m much less likely to wind up obese

Experts also say you should read to me 30 minutes a pop
Yet after just one little book you can’t wait to stop

If it bores you that much, I’ll give you a tip
Just make it up, the words you can skip

This all boosts my vocabulary and word knowledge
Which someday may help me score a scholarship to college


Now let’s talk about when I want to color and swing
Why is it you can’t stop all that goddamned texting?

The brainiacs say if you pay attention to me
I’m likely to be less violent when I hit puberty

Yet you don’t quite grasp the concept of play, I infer
Maybe I should tell Mom what’s on your web browser

If you want me to stop crying, then let’s lose the ’tude
And go outside—studies say exercise improves my mood

Please straighten up, Dad, and get your head out of your ass
My young and innocent years just aren’t going to last

I can’t take care of myself, so I must look to you
Now man up and sack up—you know what to do

Give me a kiss and bid me “Good night!”
And think about how you can make this thing right

’Cuz if forever you’re going to be chock-full of gloom
You’d might as well just get the f**k out of my room

Guilty much?