The one with the oven glove ….

Isabelle is the “madam” of our house.

The fact that she has two older siblings, and two very loud and overbearing parents who outweigh her, has not stopped her from seizing absolute control and converting our house into her own little fiefdom.

We like to think that our children adjusts to our house.

The reality might have been true for the other two, but Isabelle has more or less shaped us to be her meek and compliant servants.

We sometimes doff our cap, just to be sure we have paid her the right degree of deference.

During the weeks she is with Pepe, and there is a genuine love between them, which I knew when she called Pepe “mommy” ….

Isabelle is eating well.  I meanshe is eating what she wants, and basically saying ‘suck it’ for the stuff she is not going to eat.  You can throw a total motherhood fail.  You can make all the “ducky noises” you want.  If she does not want to eat it, NOTHING you do will convince her otherwise.

I am not above giving her yoghurt because I could not be arsed to stand and negotiate with her about what she gets into her stomach.

Isabelle can swim by herself.  I know because it is not uncommon for her to throw herself into the pool.  Whether we are in the pool or not seems to be a minor issue in her world.  Fearless does not quite touch on her when it comes to her and a bikini and a pool.  Of course if you want  her to swim, she will not get within 2 metres of the pool.

Isabelle does fine when it comes to establishing her personal space boundaries.  When we meet another child I say “mind the baby” but what I actually mean is “mind my baby as she will smack your baby into next week….”  Size and age is not an issue for Isabelle.  She is an equal opportunity I-will-smack-your-kid-if-he-she-gets-in-my-way sort of gal.

Isabelle can dress herself.  I know this because she often picks something out of her cupboard and puts it on.  The fact that they are on backwards and not suitable for public display is another issue.  Jammies during the day time are not off limits.

Isabelle can turn the water on in the kitchen.  We have fairly comprehensive home insurance.

Isabelle can feed Jackson.  He has a big bowl, and a bigger carpet to catch the food that does not make it in to his bowl.

Isabelle can get a really sharp knife out of the drawer.  I have no remedy for this other than NO, PUT THE SHARP KNIFE BACK.

Please do not email me other suggestions, short of putting the knives not in a drawer in our house, nothing is working.

Isabelle is not to be startled if she is holding something of yours that is quite delicate or valuable.

To illustrate – if she is holding Kennith’s iPhone, I do not scream at her “GIVE IT TO ME NOW.”  As she will throw it at the general direction of my head, with a certain measure of force that far outweighs her age.

Best to use your “sweet inside voice” and ask her nicely to pass it to you — a small amount of crawling on the floor and speaking in a sweet whisper does not hurt either.  If she throws it at you, it may not be directly at you and can bounce off a wall or the floor … as has happened too many times to count, or tell Kennith about.

This weekend I watched Isabelle get the oven mittens.  She walked around picking things up with going “…OT …OT” which of course made me smile.   At a certain point I ignore her as she carried on repeating the same thing to infinity, and I got bored and did something else.

Last night Kennith made dinnerand he wanted to do some baked chips, because I had asked for them.

Like a good Big Cook he turned the oven on to pre-heat.

Unfortunately Isabelle had realised that the oven was a great place to hide Connor’s toothbrush and say “…OT ….OT” while mom was ignoring her.

House smelt like burnt plastic for several hours.

Connor no longer has a toothbrush.

I am emailing that school again, to triple confirm they have a place for her in January.