Fk I hate my phone …. (apologise for bitching and whining)

Choosing a new cell phone requires 15 hours of googling, and then a sort of glaze over as I totally lose interest.

The problem is that I lose interest before I start, so that seldom bodes well for the “Hunt that is New Cell Phone….”

I usually fixate on one thing – it may be the camera or the size of the buttons, it could be anything, but there are so many way to compare a “cell phone” that I pick one element – sort of randomly and then I use that as my base of comparison.  In desperation.  I know nothing about what makes a good cell phone a good cell phone.

I am brand loyal to Nokia.  I also have no idea why.  My present phone is a Nokia XpresMusic – to say it is a “piece of shit” is to disrespect pieces of shit.  But I have always had a Nokia, so I feel a sense of …… confused loyalty to this brand.

My phone drops call (probably the service provider); the phone switches off when ever it pleases (I have to remove the battery, or bash it against a wall – sometimes both); it resets itself when ever it pleases (today it switched off, I could not get it to go back on, I recharged it – it was charged – took out the battery, then I had to put in the date and the time); it takes so long to connect anything web related and to display it on the screen, that often it is easier just to drive to the adult entertainment store myself and order what I need from the guy names Jimmy.

I hate my phone.  I really hate my phone.

Truth be told, I only ordered because I could get it in pink.  I ordered it and a black one arrived, and was told then that there were no “pinks” in stock.

I was somewhat disappointed.  But I looked at the disappointed courier guy and his waybill that he just wanted someone to sign.  I thought about the hours I may have to spend comparing more phones on google, and I “groaned” and signed the stupid courier form and plugged my piece of shit in to charge.

I have hated it pretty much every moment since.  The upside of it is … no there is no upside.

My phone and my contract has expired.  I have been with the same service provider since 1999.  Every year I renew like clockwork, and then pay them a fortune in service provider fees, and choose another Nokia from the list of “great deals.”

The only interaction I ever had with them was when my phone got stolen.  And the result was actually disappointing – I recall wondering then why service providers are total trolls.  But being brand loyal, I stayed with them, and renewed my contract yet again.

The only other time they have ever taken the time to interact with me is when my name and number appear on their call data base and they call me to “renew my contract” in their stupid sunny disposition voice.  I only know it is them, because they totally destroy the pronunciation of my surname and call me Mrs **** . If anyone has known me for more than 4 seconds they would know I would never introduce myself as Ms or Mrs and would go by my first name.

So yes, Nokia combined with SuperCall/Altech Autopage has been a less than pleasing relationship for me.  I give them money, they give me a sh*tty phone (albeit it that I choose), then they choose to give me a level of service that is not great, but so I have been since 1999, and odds are I will renew with them and keep this going for a few more years, because I just could not be arsed to find anything better!

I hate call centres.  I hate cell phone service providers.  But I hate this stupid Nokia more, so I will need to endure the first two.

Today I prosti.tute myself to who ever lets me have an iphone 4 and throws in a 3G stick (or what ever it is called).  I have realised I am such a douche bag that I will probably end up staying with my service provider, and then just take what ever they throw at me.

<<iphone has appeal is that I saw the new app instagram and I thought, mmmm must get me one of those ……. and maybe I need to look at that angry birds game with a fresh perspective …. >>

Leave a comment


  1. Bevan

     /  January 3, 2012

    C’mon Kennith, sort your wife out with an iphone. I am an ex-iphone user and hated the damn gadget, now I am ecstatic with the new blackberry bold. Slowly converting the entire family onto BBM etc.

  2. Juno

     /  December 23, 2011

    As smart phones go this is definitely one of the best on the market…I’m quite sure you’ll love it..

  3. I know BB is like, so OVER, but I just love mine! (I have the Bold 9870-or something like that…)

  4. Anita

     /  December 22, 2011

    Ah, the iPhone 4, I can but dream….. whatever you do, and I know you are not good at taking advice, do not get a BB Torch! Hate mine with such a passion and kick myself every single day for not getting an iPhone when I had the choice of one – the functionality is better and you certainly don’t have to deal with the million and one hidden charges that go with data on a BB. Good luck, I too am a Nokia girl but strayed off the path and now am stuck with this disgusting thing for another year and a half. So cannot wait for my contract to come up for renewal!

    • Anita

       /  December 23, 2011

      Okay, you inspired me! Called my service provider, who, I promise you, is worse than Autopage Cellular (of whom I too have experience) and yippee! I can change to an iPhone no problem, just slot my sim card into it, will lose my BBM feature but that’s all. And, if you got whatsapp, who needs BBM’s anyway! Merry Christmas to me, Merry Christmas to me….. Hope your issues are resolved as easily as mine!

  5. Kristin

     /  December 22, 2011

    I have recently become addicted to angry birds. There is just something about blowing up those smirking pigs.


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