The dilemma of bloggers and blog readers everywhere …..

I think this image accurately depicts the “trauma” all bloggers and blog readers go through.

I have got much braver about commenting on blogs in the last year.

I know in the beginning I was all wide-eyed and red-faced at the very thought of commenting on some cool person’s blog.  I would read the post in awe, and then sit there and think “I can’t comment, I can’t think of anything clever to say …. everything sounds so naff….” and then I would sit there.

I have a similar problem with Facebook and then often my “comment” runs through my mind so much and I evaluate then re-evaluate, and then try to think what the person will read, that it becomes so “paralysing” that I go back and delete it.

I think Mommy Bloggers have it a bit harder than most .. but I can only speak as a Mommy Blogger.

Blogging can be very cliquey (is that the correct spelling?) and there is some inherent bitchiness, and new bloggers compete to be noticed, and there is always the “IT” blogger whose attention everyone is vying for.  <<it by the way is not me, in the event you needed some guidance on that issue>>

Or am I just reading a bit more in to it than it actually is?

I think blogging does start as a personal vomit about your shit, and that is why people read it.  A bit like slowing to look at a car accident and gawking at the blood spatter and seeing if you can see the injured person in the ambulance – or am I the only person who does this?

The problem with “blog traffic” is that at some point you stop writing about what you really think and how you feel, but you start to write what appears to be “popular” and then you lose the plot from there.  Or so I think at any rate.

I am as guilty of that as much as the next person of being aware that someone is reading this now, so maybe I need to tailor what I say.

It is sometimes difficult to stick to your opinion and put your neck out on an issue when you realise the “popular” discussions are going in another direction.  So as much as I want to say what I think, I do start to question how acceptable it will be to put it out here, or there.  And then I start to think too hard about what I say, and who I say it to.

And then I just become a cookie-cutter blog ….. sad but true.  Don’t you love social paranoia??  It rocks!

<< apologise for not being able to credit this image, I dropped it on my desktop ages ago, and unfortunately there was no reference on it …. so apologise for no credit on the image>> 

Leave a comment


  1. Julz

     /  January 12, 2012

    This post deserves an award. Your blog is one where I sit here and ponder about what to say in response to you. It’s like I can’t really add to what you have said cause you have just said it too well so I don’t comment at all.

    You are an “it” blogger, but what makes you the cool “it” blogger is that for some reason you don’t realise it.

  2. Alexandra

     /  January 12, 2012

    I think you’re an IT blogger and so cool that I have always been too scared / shy / lacking in confidence to comment until now.

    P.S. On weekends I take my children to expensive play venues with supervision that I can’t really afford just so that I can have a couple of hours to read and sip cappuccinos (wine would be better but generally not served at play areas, and then I’d still have to drive home). And I love work mainly because I can spend time on my computer without being interrupted.

  3. Well said! First I was too terrified to comment, for the exact reasons you cite. Now I find it’s the exact opposite and I want to comment all the time because I identify with so much, so many of you are saying.. and then I wonder if people will think I’m over eager and trying to hard.. sigghhhh…it’s hard!

  4. It gets especially bad when you know who’s reading! I have to temper my personal posts now because of who reads them… like my boss 😉

  5. This is 100% accurate. I almost feel like I’m back in highschool, hoping the freshly pressed bloggers won’t think I’m a complete idiot… but getting over it. I enjoy your honest perspective on parenthood – so gatvol of all the “Oh I love my children sooo much I just adore spending time with them and miss them too much if they are even away for one day!!” types out there… Was it you who couldn’t figure out how to fill the kettle the other day? Today I couldn’t remember which side of the road to drive. Eish…

  6. Whahaha! I’m still in the “God I hope I get some comments… anybody out there?” phase on my new blog 🙂

    Although I do have a fairly cool bunch of friends regularly commenting on my above board (afrikaans) mommy blog 🙂

  7. countesskaz

     /  January 11, 2012

    In the beginning I wanted people to read my blog, but now I’m not phased…fk it, I say. If I get 1 comment a week I’m doing well.

    Although it must be said I WILL not write what I think people want to hear….I’m too opinionated and filled with superiority with my own importance for that…ha ha

  8. Ah yes this is the problem bloggers face and one of the reasons I remain an average blogger because I blog what I want when I want and how I want.

    I see what blogs are “popular” and how they work etc but it’s honestly too much effort for me to do that because some days I want to say this and others I want to say that – so sticking to the model that works just doesnt work for me.

    Also commenting builds a relationship and I love that. I love that the same people comment every day on my posts. That way I build a relationship with them. Yes 600 comments would boost my ego but how do you build a relationship of sorts with that many people?

    I suppose it also depends on what you want out of blogging.

  9. Your blog ( which I definitely know as an “it” blog and that I have always thought of as “that cool one” ) gave me the guts to swear now and then on my own blog. Thank you for bringing about a more honest me.

    ( ps. This is a compliment. Really. )

    (pps. Ok. Now I’m doing the re-thinking/look at what I just said from all angles thing…ok. To hell with it. I said what I said the way I wanted to say it. And I’ll stick with it….)

    ( …………………………….. it really is a compliment……really. )

  10. When I started blogging nearly a year ago it was for me. It still is. I am still to this day shocked that I have people following me at all. Although I have to admit it can be an ego boost when youre feeling at your worst.
    I still dont think that I have anything major or important to say that makes me stand out but I dont mind. My blog is my little sanctuary and thats just fine with me. 🙂

  11. There are “it” bloggers!? You mean I am now also anonymously awkwardly socially inept? Oh God, what have I done…..

  12. Charlotte

     /  January 11, 2012

    I’m with Sharon. You are TTHHEE mommy blogger!

  13. Sharon

     /  January 11, 2012

    I hear what you’re saying… especially about the “it” bloggers but I try not to think of blogging in those terms. I’ll never be an “it” kinda girl and in the same vein, I highly doubt I’ll ever become and “it” blogger. I just don’t think of myself that way.
    I guess that says a lot about my sense of confidence or how I see myself socially but I’ve never thought of myself as part of the popular crowd and that relates to how I see myself as a blogger too.
    Dude, I think you are an “it” Mommy blogger! You have a massive readership and following and even won a parenting blog award!
    Perhaps the biggest problem is that you’re over thinking everything that you say?
    Personally I have always enjoyed your honest blog and your comments on Face Book, they are always highly entertaining!


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