Children’s Birthday Parties are a Health Hazard!

I am sitting watching Scared Mom/Charlotte updating Facebook and her blog with all the work she is doing for her daughter’s birthday party – it feels like I am watching a nervous breakdown in process, or at the very least someone who is one Mickey Mouse ear away from going postal.

Charlotte is planning a party – her child’s party and that is about as painful as an enema with VIM.

Watching Charlotte spinning out of control and turning Mommy-Partyzilla is mildly amusing, but a bit unsettling because I am exactly the same, so it is resulting in some post-trauma flash backs to my own experience with me planning and orchestrating parties.

For me parties stop being about the kids who are coming to the party and all about how I am going to outdo myself from last year.

The parents who I need to impress.  The right cake from the right bakery.  The outfit my child will wear.  The photographs.  The organising.  The lists.  The party packs. It all gets too much, too quickly, and I spin out of control, as I add another stupid thing to the list of things to do and to stress about.

And so it goes on – my 6 week stress run up to my kid’s parties strip the life and the joy out of them for me. Every last morsel of joy.  Sucked out.

I hate kid’s parties.

No, you misunderstand, I like coming to YOUR kid’s party.

I HATE arranging, organising, paying way too much, stressing, getting annoyed with stupid people who do not rsvp, wanting to yell at people who rsvp on the morning or the night before to say they are not coming, or “oh yeh, do you mind if we come….” and the worrying that everything will not go to plan.

I hate the associated stress that comes with organising my kid’s birthday parties.

It is January, and you know what?  I cannot tell you the joy I feel that the next time my “turn” pops up is June.  I get 4 – 5 months of happiness and raucous party abandonment and do not have to give it a second thought.

I NEVER enjoy my kid’s birthday parties.

I am too busy, too exhausted, too frazzled to pay attention to what is going on.

Mentally I have a checklist and I am too busy ticking off what needs to be done and when, to actually have a normal conversation.  Logically I keep telling myself “it is only a kid’s party, calm the hell down…” but then I do not. I blow it out of proportion, and when I start booking the ponies, the jumping castle and the magician, then I know I have gone too far.

Problem is I can’t pull myself back, and the only way to behave when you are going OVER THE TOP is to step it up and see if you can book a bucking bronco as well.

Trust me, when my turn comes, I will be thrown in amongst the non-sensical-crazy-blubbering-saliva-on-your-chin-RAMPANT-madness that infects nearly every mother when they know their child’s birthday party looms.

Why is it that fathers do not seem to have their “I am fkn losing my mind” party gene?

Next time around I would like testicles – as they seem to be linked to a relaxed mood and party planning – this ovaries and oestrogen lark is really a bit much.

Good luck Charlotte.

I will be there with my brood, and some screw top wine – for me, not my brood, they can get their own.

If you opened a bag of marshmallows and Flings and threw them on the lawn and let the two-year olds fight it out, they would probably have an equally as good a time, but I know that once Mommy-Partyzilla fever hits, it is just downhill and an anxiety attack from there on in.

Good luck!!!

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17 Comments

  1. I’m with you Sharon. I am the organizer and I sit on my arse delegating. hehehe
    So much more fun. And bonus is I get to enjoy the party with Junior. Last year, we very nearly forgot to cut the birthday cake. It was ice-cream so it was melted by the time we opened the box. We all had a lick. Hehehe

    Reply
  2. Sharon

     /  January 27, 2012

    Are you kidding? I love organizing Ava’s parties. They are so so so much fun!! BUT the big difference (I think) is that I only organize, I don’t do any of the actual work myself and I refuse to get sucked into the notion that Ava will think I love her more if I slave away creating the perfect party packs, baking the perfect cake or making the perfect party favours. I’m an excellent organizer and I enjoy every moment of finding the perfect venue and suppliers for each element necessary to make the party special, without killing me with anxiety in the process.

    We still have 11 months to go to her next birthday and I have already started planning the theme!

    Reply
    • Charlotte

       /  January 27, 2012

      Sharon I love everything about the planning and the make and every 6 months (Jan & June) I have a little breakdown and swear never to do everything myself again and I just do it again. I do enjoy it.

      Reply
  3. alittlelessfluff

     /  January 27, 2012

    Reblogged this on A Little Less Fluff and commented:
    I could not have said this any better myself! It is exactly how I feel.

    Reply
  4. alittlelessfluff

     /  January 27, 2012

    I could not have put this in a better way!
    I DO NOT like kids’ birthday parties.
    The stress is liable to kill me.

    Reply
  5. Charne

     /  January 27, 2012

    I am also watching this play out and wondering if I get like this as well, but just don’t realise!! I think that might be scarier than actually knowing and admitting that you are slowly losing your mind.

    See you all tomorrow, and Charlotte………… seriously, I am sure it will be a FAB party whether you get everything done or not. THe kids will be to busy playing and stuffing their faces; and the mommies will be too busy consuming copious amounts of alcohol while we pretend to be all engrossed with something or the other, while we are actually thinking: “awkward……… awkward, I feel awkward and everyone is looking at me” (that’s Celeste and I)…..

    Reply
  6. I’m just starting the 6 week sprint

    Reply
  7. Charlotte

     /  January 27, 2012

    I love the new name you gave me! I tend to go crazy the week before the party! But I have reach a new point of being completely calm (don’t know if that has to do with the pain meds or not) but I made decision that whatever is not done by 10:00 tomorrow is just too bad!

    Reply
    • Charlotte

       /  January 27, 2012

      Oh and on another note today is Lorelai’s birthday!

      Reply
      • Happy birthday to Lorelai!! I must say I take these things very casually! The first birthday I made party pops and cake and everything. Last year I bought sponge cake and did the icing (Thomas train) – with help. This year I think outsourcing everything is the way to go. Keep it simple!! Good luck and enjoy the party!

        Reply
        • reluctantmom

           /  January 27, 2012

          I do need to learn the “keep it simple” method.
          I think the issue for me, is that I get stressed of things that are not worth getting stressed over and then it over-shadows the day.
          But bear in mind I get my knickers in a total knot if I have people over for a braai, so there is little hope for me ….. and I am about 18 kids parties in to it, so you would think by now I would find a way to calm down …. clearly not.

          Reply
          • Well, I was going to say, you need to have more braais, you know practise and all that!! But if you haven’t learnt after 18 parties then there is no hope!!

            Reply
      • Happy Birthday Lorelai

        Reply
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