It appears I can train three children, but not this dog …

Dexter is seriously doing my head in.

When he arrived he spray-sh&t everywhere.  I felt really sorry for him, as no one likes a splatter bum, so I took him to the vet, and changed his food and tried not to get upset when he kept sh&tting on everything.

But now his tummy is fine – but the bugger keeps crapping inside.

He can be outside for 4 hours, I open the door, he says hello, and once he gets past the bum-wagging (he does not have a tail) he finds a textured spot to go and take a crap on.

Our entire house is tiled or laminated flooring – but Dexter does not poo on the easy-to-clean smooth surface, he constantly puts his crap on the carpets or the skins on the floor.

I am nearly at my wits end with him.  I so want him to be an inside dog, who can lie around, smoke a cigar, make coffee, and when he needs, go out the gate and take a dump in the garden. I dream of that day.

But instead I have take-a-dump-Dexter crapping on everything when ever he is inside.

I think I would be far more impatient with him, if he was not so goddamn cute.  With that face and those googly eyes I can nearly forgive anything.  Nearly.

Leave a comment


  1. Carrie

     /  February 16, 2012

    Firstly – love the blog!
    Secondly – your dog is adorable :-), and this isnt a problem. Most of the advise posted here is great.
    You need to find a plan – and stick to it. Dogs can be worse than kids when you become inconsistent.
    I luckily have labs, and the 2 year has never once messed in the house, and the 4yr old only did it once – on the day the new puppy arrived – marking her territory.
    And they are always inside (except when i am at work)
    The smell thing is very important – my 2 always go to the same spot, and sniff the grass before doing anything. My advice – get rid of the carpet he keeps going to. Do not clean it with ammonia products, as this smell is too similar to urine and he will start peeing in that spot 😉
    Dogs thrive on praise – take him outside as soon as he wakes up and praise him while he does it.
    Moan at him when he does it inside, but never ever rub his nose in it!
    Hope you get him sorted soon

  2. Love the blog!
    Here’s what worked, saved my sanity and the life of our Bull Terrier, pick the spot outside where you want him to “go”. When he makes a poo inside, and this is the gross part, pick it up and put it in the garden. They’re driven by smell, work at getting the poo smell out of the house and into the garden. He’ll get the picture quick!
    Good Luck.

  3. We also have a puppy – she does this too. She know can come in for like 2 minutes at a time and it is SUPERVISED.

    Her favourite poop spot is UNDER my study table!

  4. Doing a giveaway of our dog over at my site! (same problem, but he’s far too old to learn anything new!)
    I cannot guarantee his survival anymore, and I can’t keep on defending him…

  5. There’s hope! Mine used to do it as well. For quite some time actually. But they do outgrow it.

    By the way, he is ADORABLE!

  6. countesskaz

     /  February 13, 2012

    he is soooooooo cute

  7. You’re right, he is cute. But if he was mine, he’d be an outside dog. I don’t do doggie-poo clean ups, ever!

  8. Colleen

     /  February 13, 2012

    what about a piece of off cut carpet / cheap Mr Price mat that you can put outside with him. Try get him to poop on that and then eventually get rid of it?

    Good luck hun. I would not be so patient!

  9. Hey. How frustrating. He’s trying to mark his territory, I think. Have a look on Cesar Millan’s website if there is any advice. What I know from my own dogs are that they usually go immediately after they’ve eaten so that’s a good time to take him outside. They also go either in the beginning of a walk or after 20min of walking.

    My one dog was very hard to house train, but in the end it was very much like potty training. I just waited until I found her do her thing where I wanted and then praised her big time WHILE she is doing it. It doesn’t help you do it afterwards because they’re not able to link the praise with the act afterwards. 🙂

    Good luck! He WILL get it eventually, promise!


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