So I went to the beach …

Cape Town is not hot, as much as it is “I think menopause has started” state of affairs – it is just stupid hot right now.

I like a bit of sunshine, but geez louise this is past ridiculous. It is 21h29 and ridiculous hot still.

Today I thought I would go to the beach.  You know embrace my surroundings and all that.

Off I scamper to the beach with my friend Joyce and her daughter.

It is me, my three, my dog, and the beach.

I should have done the bright thing and driven to McDonalds drive through and ordered an ice cream cone.

I am not sure where exactly it went wrong.  Possibly when:

1.  We arrived and all three kids decided in consecutive order they needed to wee – Georgia pee’d so much it gushed, Connor caught a few splashes in my car, Isabelle just wee’d on her shoes.  I had to construct an impromptu toilet between the two open car doors. In the parking lot.  Not an ideal start.  So Jack Parow though.

2.  Isabelle decided she was not really in to sea sand, and started screaming the minute her feet touched sea sand.  At the beach. Tricky situation from here on in.

3.  Dexter decided that he was going to wrap him self around my leg and then go and lie under Joyce’s thighs. The result was a dog huddled under her, but with his leash stretched out everywhere, so that was super great as it caused the kids to keep tripping and falling or cutting the circulation off on my hands as I held his leash.

4.  Every time I filled Dexter’s water bowl with fresh water a child emptied it out – on me, on the blanket I was sitting on, on the hamburger … insert what ever is suitable.

5.  Dexter has never been the beach – it was all a bit overwhelming for him, especially as the tide came in with the sound of the crashing waves.  Two little girls kept screaming AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS every time the tide came in.  Definitely not really calming stuff.  Stressed dog who needed to drink water …. but that was covered in point 4.

6.  Isabelle decided to throw up.   She choked on a chip, and then threw up everything she had eaten since last week Thursday.  Can you say bury vomit in the sand?

7.  Georgia needed to wee.  Again.  And went to squat in the waves.  Unfortunately the water was only up to her ankles, so the beach saw her squating and actually just pissing in her costume.  How do I know the beach saw her?  There was a 6-year-old girl next to me laughing her head off.

8.  Connor caught two fish, and put it in the a bucket.  Dexter thought it was fresh water, drank the water with the fish in them.

9.  Kirsten kept feeding Dexter chips – which I know will induce more splatter bum in Dexter, not Kirsten. Kirsten appears to have a stomach of a steel cauldron.

10.  Quite soon in, I had more sand on my blanket than I would have had had I just sat in the sea sand to begin with.

I can say I have ticked the “beach” block on my things to do with the kids this year list.  I might get around to it again in 2013.

Beach.  Tick.

Leave a comment


  1. I miss the beach, in Joburg it’s way too far away. And I know, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be but still – look at the goofy smile on that boys face! You’ll do it again …. Maybe next time take a portaloo with you. Sure those guys will deliver you one, delivery address ‘Stressed Mum, The Beach, Cape Town’. Oh, and a large carpet, so you can carpet the blimmin sand away!!

  2. Now I don’t feel so bad as staying so far from any beach 😉

  3. countesskaz

     /  February 20, 2012

    laugh out loud


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