Driving kids back from school ….

I have lamented this subject before — not too long ago, but cheese and rice seriously I cannot be the only parent who feels that this is really the short end of the stick.  This is the stimoral that gets stuck in the pubic hairs shit end of the deal.

I collect the kids from school most days.

Most days I get about 2 minutes into the drive home with them, and then I already start wondering if I drove headlong in to traffic, could I die, but they live?  I do not necessarily want to off them, but sure as shit I want to make it a sure thing that I do not want to spend an hour inside a car’s interior with three kids screaming.

Today’s things to fight about – included, but were not limited to:

1. Isabelle found easter eggs in her bag and ate them.

2.  Georgia started screaming because she wanted easter eggs and there were none in her bag.

3.  Isabelle threw the foil paper on the floor, I screamed at her, she screamed at me – she won.

4.  Georgia was upset that her flip-flop had ended up between Isabelle and Isabelle’s car door – and wanted me to get it back.  How the shoe got from Georgia’s foot to the other side of the car is a mystery.  I was attempting to navigate through peak hour traffic, so was somewhat distracted.  Georgia screamed she wanted her shoe back, Isabelle screamed as she did not want Georgia’s shoe on her side of the car.

5.  Connor sniffed incessantly.  I passed him a tissue.

6.  Georgia explained to me that she no longer wanted sandwiches for school, she wanted other snacks – I explained to her that she needed to take this issue up with her father as he was now stocking the “goody cupboard.”

7.  Connor explained he had a headached and continued to sniff.

8.  Georgia asked if we could stop dinner half way and then give her medicine, and then continue to eat supper.

9.  Isabelle was holding up her spare pair of khaki shorts, which I packed in her school bag, and screaming at me.  I have no idea why, but she was screaming, and I kept yelling back YES, YES, YES, and still am unclear what it is that she wanted to show me.

10. Connor asked me if I had anything to drink in the car, he was hot and thirsty.  I explained my bar fridge had not been fitted as yet, but I was making a plan as we spoke.

11.  Georgia was complaining she could not open the window and it was Connor’s fault.  Connor was feigning innocence – LOUDLY.

12.  I think that Isabelle was trying to show me the butterfly embroidery on her khaki shorts – I started to scream BUTTERFLIES YES, BUTTERFLIES YES ….. I am not sure exactly what it was that I was meant to be saying.

The thing is that the car drive with the kids finishes me off –  like totally fucking kills me.

I pick them up and always plan “this day will be different” but before I have safely navigated out the school gates it all starts, and then I totally lose the plot.

I know there is a law against using cell phones whilst driving, but clearly who ever made that law has not been a mother in a car full of children.  Trust me, talking on a cell phone would be the least of my problems, if only the kids would be quiet long enough so I could hear what the person was saying on the other end.


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  1. My saving grace was that the trip with the Princess alone is about 3 minutes long, and then with the boys and her about 5. I did not think I can make it one minute longer. But wait, the lovely Tshwane council has a surprise for me – now we have a detour because the closed a road and seriosuly that 2 minutes more kills me. Literally

  2. I get what you say and I too struggle to enforce the law of silence every single day 😦

  3. Helen (1st-Timer)

     /  April 15, 2012

    Strap em in and put an ipod in your ears so you can’t hear the chaos. They’ll either give up eventually or kill each other. Either way problem solved (ish)?

  4. Tan

     /  April 13, 2012

    I drive and slowly put the music louder and louder and our drive is 5km but takes 25 mins in that time I have screamed at least twice and it doesnt matter how much I tell them to leave each other alone they ignore me. Did I tell you I love my kids 😉

  5. I am rather proud of my ability to block the noise out. Fortunately our trip is 15 minutes (25 if there is some douche who has broken down/crashed/drives at 10km/h) but I switch off – I can hear them speaking but can’t hear what they are saying.

    I think the good Lord has equipped me with the because otherwise one of them (or all of them) would have been off loaded and left en route.

    Sibling fighting for me is like being sprayed with a fire hydrant hose full of hot water while I am wearing nothing having my nails pulled and needles stuck in my eyes!

  6. Thank goodness I do not have it as bad! I only fetch one of them, the other catches the bus home. But still the 2 yr old on his own is enough to drive me crazy. But next time he starts with his ‘Mitchell wants xyz, Mommy’, Mitchell wants xyz, Mommy, Mitchell wants xyz, Mommy’ ad infinitum where usually I can’t make out what xyz is, or, like Isabelle, he tries to show me something, then I will think of you with all 3 of them and ‘hopefully’ feel better – while at the same time feeling terribly sorry for you of course!! Although I do still get the the arguments, which I thought I might escape to an extent because of the age gap. Like – ‘Brother’s looking at me, Mommy’ (x6) ‘make him stop, Mommy’, etcetc.

    Myself and hubby fetch on alternate days and I must say that is a lifesaver if you can arrange it, though I often still get 3 days of the week.

  7. Love this post… here it’s the “Mom, I’m hungry – can we go to MacDonalds?” and then the incessant complaints and whinging when I tell him “No! MickeyD’s is for the week-ends!” EVERY SINGLE DAY… it’s like Groundhog Day in my car – you’d think he’d learn! 🙂


     /  April 13, 2012

    I think this may be reason enough to stop at 1…

  9. Tania

     /  April 13, 2012

    I am beginning to feel your pain. The 6 1/2 year gap between my 2 I thought allowed me to miss this excitement. Clearly not. It’s getting worse and I only have 2. Most times I try to put 1 in front with me, the other 1 in the back, alone. This does not help as they find a way to argue or complain with/about each other. Sigh!

  10. countesskaz

     /  April 13, 2012

    once again, I think i may have pee-ed in my pants from laughing.

  11. Scaredmom

     /  April 13, 2012

    I feel lucky that I do not have to do this!


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