My dog bit my child …

Dexter is a really lovely dog.  He has such a goofy expression that you cannot but love him.

That being said he has one or two serious behavioural issues.

1.  He sprinkles his urine for no apparent reason.

He could be outside for 72 days, you let him in, and 5 minutes later he will take a piss.  It has if he has been holding it in so he can put urine in your home.  He never pees on a surface that is easy to clean, he will pee on the corner of your pot drawer, your curtains or on your shoe.

2.  He takes a crap in the most bizarre places.

Again adding he has unhindered access to the great outdoors.  He will be outside for ever, walk right in and take a crap.  Never on an easy to clean surface, but right in the centre or your prized zebra skin, or in this week’s case, right in the centre of Isabelle’s bed!!  Crap and a giant piss!

3.  He is brilliant with the kids, but will growl at them now and then – when he is eating something he thinks they might want, or when he is sleeping and has a really good spot.

We teach our dogs from the time they arrive in our house that humans (even small humans) are permitted to touch them and take food out of their mouths. Dexter is find 85% of the time, but then for the remainder he growls and his hackles go up.

I am not one of those people who refer to my dogs as my children.  I used to, and then I had children.

I now understand that clear line between the two. One you can lock in the kitchen when they irritate you, the other you can’t.

So I treat dogs as dogs, I understand the pack mentality, I understand that they behave a certain way, and I can get all Caesar Milan on your arse.  Really got it.

Dexter has become my kryptonite.  I understand what he is doing is wrong, but I am absolutely powerless to stop him, because I do not understand why he does it, and also does things in a non-consistent way.

I buy the dogs a hoof each to chew.  Annabelle (our Staffordshire Bull Terrier is 12) – I decide okay let me put her outside with the hoof, as she will eat Dexter if he comes near her whilst she is chewing it.

I put her outside – also because she is standing at the backdoor asking to go out.

I leave Dexter inside and he climbs into the dog basket, happily chewing the hoof. First time he has had a hoof, so it took him a few moments to grasp the point of eating a bovine’s discarded foot!

Dexter in box.  Isabelle (note the dog and child have similar names …. long story) anyway Isabelle sees Dexter and walks over to him to give him a hug.  Dexter thinks Isabelle is after the hoof and takes a bite of her arm.

It nearly broke the skin, and I was amazed by the bite pattern.  Dexter is a Boston Terrier, so their bite is totally ridiculous.

But back to me and said SCREAMING CHILD.  Isabelle is screaming like someone stole her Nuttella sandwich.  I look at Dexter and the communication between my eyes and his brain was: “You little shit, I am going to kill you!!”

I did not kill him, though for a moment (if you add the crap on the bed to the week’s mix) I was seriously considering giving him away on gumtree.

I really really think if he has bitten her in the face, this conversation would be different.

I really love my dog, but cheese and rice I love my kids a lot more.  I really have a lot of work to do with Dexter, but I can promise you if he ever bites my child again, I am so going to gumtree his arse!

Dexter if you are reading this – and I know you log on with my password, take this as your FINAL WARNING mate!  You are very cute, but you will still be cute stuffed with sawdust on my TV cupboard.  You my friend are on probation!!

Leave a comment


  1. For the pising and pooing – is he spayed? Because it cures it – I promise.
    AS to biting, we actually teach our kids to have huge respect for dogs – not that we love our dogs more than our kids, but because other people’s dogs may not be as well tought and as friendly as ours. So we teach them that you do not touch a dog that is eating/sleeping whatever. Beacuse you never know what other dogs may bo. Believe me they can comfortably climb onto our labs while they are having dinner and not a growl will be heard, but rather be safe than sorry.

    We also teach our dogs that we as humans are the boss – all of us, and that they are in the bottom of the pecking order in the pack -= as you do. But doubel safety first

  2. KennithB

     /  July 6, 2012

    Attitude adjustment klap, Dexter watch out

  3. As you know I have two Bostons. I used to spray some awful stuff you get at the vet’s on our surfaces so that my boy dog did not pee on it. Again, as he got older, the peeing inside stopped.

    My husband actually teaches our boy dog to bite! So he bit someone who climbed over our wall the other day. We were super proud and chuffed! (Our friend, whose child it was, not so much… But what is he doing climbing over our wall???) Anyway, didn’t do much harm, because they have like the most ridiculous teeth, yes.

    What’s my point? O yes! We did the whole newspaper loudly on table trick and it seemed to work. They are naughty little buggers, Bostons!

  4. Joyce

     /  July 6, 2012

    Poor poor Dexter, he sounds like a teenager that is having a few puberty issues. We have the same problem with K and the dogs, but K is very much at fault although Leon does not see it that way… She pulls the dogs’ tails and ears all day long and then they growl. I slap her hand and Leon craps out the dogs when they growl…

  5. Shame Celeste.
    I sometimes have the same dilemma. My dog chews everything and also growls if I give home a bone; solution I never give him bones (but I do refer to him as my favorite child). He listens (mostly) and doesn’t answer back.

    BTW surgical spirits to clean dog wee/poo is the only thing that removes the smell and discourages them from going in the same place again. Good luck (Dexter).


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