How would you like to be buried?

I realised recently that in my mind I have a very particular way that I would like things to occur after I died — when ever that may be.

The problem with this plan, is I won’t be there, so I thought it might be good to put some information out there – so that way there will be no confusion about how things go.

I want to be cremated – I am fine with organ donation.  If I am not using it, and someone else will get be able to live a better life with my bits, then they are welcome to them.

I do not want to live on life support – I do not want to be resuscitated if my quality of life requires me to be hooked up to a mechanical system which breaths, and makes my heart beat.  If I was alive and unable to do it for myself I would like to be offered the “assisted death” route – so if I am unable to communicate, lets work out an eye blink system or a hand squeeze system.

I do not want my cremation remains to be buried or put somewhere where my children, and family will feel an obligation to visit and bring flowers to.

I really do not like that idea, and when I die I would like to be gone, and my family not to feel an obligation to a 1 metre x 1 metre square piece of land somewhere.

I’d like my remains spread around a wine farm – or several – seems the right place!  That way if you are going to visit me, you will be visiting me with a large glass in hand and will need to do a bit of a tour of a few wine estates at the same time.

I really do not want a religious ceremony.  I do think that these occassions are for the living, and for them to find solace and to give them closure.  I would like something very much like the format we were married with – relaxed, people drinking wine, eating snacks and being happy, or at the very least telling really tacky jokes about death.

My take on faith and religion, and the after life may well change as time goes by.  At the moment I am not comfortable with the idea that “everyone goes to heaven and looks down on the rest of us” nor do I believe we become angels or angelic bodies.

I am not sure exactly what happens when you die.  But right now, I feel that when you die, you die — you go to sleep and that is all.

Okay, so that is where I am in the event of me meeting the Grim Reaper.  Now you know.

Does your family know what happens to you when you die?

Leave a comment


  1. I used to spend way too much time planning my funeral, but I’ve given a lot less thought to it lately.

    I’m all for donating my organs, and I’m thinking about donating my body to science.

    I think your idea of spreading ashes at a vineyard is BRILLIANT. Is it bad that that made me laugh and nod at the same time?

  2. I actually don’t care. Whatever is cheapest. Although I wouldn’t mind wine being involved in one of the following ways: A good box buried with me in the casket; as a fire-starter at my cremation; or to be enjoyed at my wakey-wake, with Salticrax and cheese. And refer to my husband here – he and the bottlestore down the road, know my fave tipple.

  3. Alexandra

     /  November 21, 2012

    Ditto. My wishes are the same as yours.

  4. I used to think that I’d like to be cremated, have all my loved ones have a giant party – it would be kind of cool if at some point they had a toast, smashed the ass and danced on it a bit and then swept me out with the trash the next morning…but I’ve actually come to realise that I don’t really care about what gets done to me, I won’t be here to see it – so whatever they feel happy with is fine by me.

    • reluctantmom

       /  November 21, 2012

      My concern is that there will be this huge religious ceremony, and a gravesite and and and …. in the name of “this is what Celeste would want” …. so I wanted to be clear that I really do not want the expense, and all the fuss. I also do not want my family to be tied to a piece of land that has nothing to do with me.

  5. I have not decided for myself, but I know what my mom wants – I have a copy of her living will, so she will not be kept on life support, I know what the (current) costs of her cremation vs burial will be – she lives in a rural area and there is no crematorium nearby, so the cost will be higher than my bond to have her body transported.

    But my own….still working on it but would prefer not to be left in the ground to emerge as a zombie sometime in the future

  6. Yep. I’ve told the closest and dearest (including my teenager) that I want to be cremated. I am pretty sure it is written into my will ! I used to read a lot of scary/horror books when i was younger. The stories about re-opening coffins and finding ferocious scratch marks on the inside because people were accidentially buried alive is my motivation !

  1. Plans you’ll need when I move on to the hereafter. Or not. « Di Doodles About Stuff

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