Atkins serious rethink …

I do not want to get into a furor about whether the Atkins Weight Loss Programme works for thousands of people, I am sure it does, else there would not be so many people who felt so strongly about this programme.

I have realised that people feel a zealous belief in this programme which makes me feel slightly suspicious, and uneasy.  But that is not the issue.

I wanted to remain in the Induction Phase for as long as possible.  I have been doing Induction for three weeks, and have followed it religiously.  I follow the foods allowed, I weigh my food so that there is not this sneaky “larger portion” issue – if it is not allowed, it does not pass my lips.

I have not so much as nibbled on a NikNak chip since I started.

I dropped wine, milk, bread, pasta, and anything that in any way had refined sugar or carbohydrates. I have been eating salad greens and meat like a person possessed.  I have consumed enough eggs in enough varieties to at the very least get me my own cooking show on Channel No-One-Watches.

I have not been hungry since I started the programme, but at the same time I have not felt the “Atkins Edge” that the four books I have read keep telling me I will.  I have felt the Atkins Sadness that no one mentions.

Someone mentioned that maybe I was not mentally ready to do Atkins, I am starting to think she was right.

I decided to continue with blind faith as I was sure the hard work, persistence, blind faith and sticking to the rules would have a result on the scale.  I really do not give as much of a {delicious pumpkin with cinnamon and sugar} fritter about whether my cholesterol changes, my blood pressure and all the other health benefits – right now my focus is the numbers on the scale.

That fellow Atkins devotees is all I am interested in right now.

I started Walk/Run for Life about three weeks before I started Atkins, and go along to that three days a week.  This programme works for thousands (hundreds of thousands) so again I decided that I would fit into the programme and do how and what they said.  I walk when they say walk, and I run when I think I can and they suggest I could.

So far so good.  I go three times a week, and though I am in no way “enjoying” it – as I really loath exercise, I do it as I know there is a bigger picture at play here.

This week has been a very despondent one.  I started to get angry that I was not eating much other than salad and meat.  Though the programme allows for a large variance in food, fat and protein that you can consume, at the end of the day most dishes are either eggs, meat, or eggs and salad, or meat and salad – work that into as many combinations as you like – and I have!!

I started to feel like I was restricting myself. Then angry with myself as I hate being told I can’t have something.

I weighed myself this week and my weight was pretty much unchanged from my first weight in.  NOT SO SILENT SCREAM.

I decided to also go and have a cholesterol blood screening done, you fast fr 8 – 12 hours, have blood drawn and they do a triple cholesterol test.  I was a bit smug, as I assumed I would have no cholesterol issues.  My blood pressure is 100 over 60, which pretty much classifies me as dead, so I figured if I have no issues around high blood pressure, I was pretty much home free on cholesterol as well.  I made an assumption, based on zero scientific fact or connections between the two.

I was a bit shocked when my cholesterol tests came back and it seems I am wrong.  I do actually have a cholesterol problem.  I spent three days throwing around my stroll into Atkins, how I felt so deprived (not hungry, just deprived) and how I just wanted to drink a glass of wine or eat a Niknak without feeling I was committing a cardinal sin, and would be sent to Hell.

Atkins does not view slip ups or cheats in a casual light.

The books are written in a very “pick up that chocolate chip cookie and rue the day you were born …. it is not worth it ….. you will ruin all your hard work …. you will need to repent to the diet gods and you will actually feel sick …. eat that cookie as your own peril…”

They don’t actually use those words, but that is the gist of the situation.

Friday, I was having a real “fuck it I am getting annoyed with this situation” as I prepared yet another salad and meat” meal …. I decided that Atkins and I are going to part company.  I am not knocking Atkins, as said with that many devoted followers it must be doing incredible work.

For me right now -I need to eat a cookie without feeling I am contributing to the downfall of an entire civilization  I do need an eating plan, I do need something that has boundaries, I do need something where I can keep a food diary and a list.

I am off to find the nearest Weight Watchers.  I do realise I am out of the circle of Atkins, but there you go.