I have been a very bad blogger. I have not been very good at posting for the last few weeks.
It really is not for a lack of writing. I realised I have 105 “draft posts” that I have not posted for varying reasons, so clearly I have stuff to say.
I feel a bit like I am losing my voice – my ability to express myself – right now I am feeling very much like this image – but with better cuticle and nail care!
It is very frustrating as part of how I process “stuff”is by getting it out, and ideally getting it out on this blog.
Right now I am feeling very “idea and thought” constipated – all these thoughts, ideas, frustrations, moments of joy, moments of anger, and well … frustrations are bottled up and not getting out.
Clearly I need a purge. Usually I will look for the most inappropriate time or occasion to do this …..
I was busy writing a post about how I have been fortunate enough not to have MY BLACK DOG OF DEPRESSION back in some time. I was all “hey check me out, no worries…. har har har….” Yes, well, who is laughing now? Not me in the event I was being a bit vague.
I have honestly not missed the whooshing sound of his tail, and the pitter patter of his feet at night. As much as I try to picture him as this loping large black Labrador, I really think he is a m-fuker and can do without him.
I am starting to think that I might have “announced” it a bit prematurely, and maybe the inability to speak, to say what I feel, what I am thinking is probably a sign of a dip in the not too distant future.
It might just be an overdose on all the chaos and madness that is associated with this time of year.
Anyway, look out for some vague really makes-no-sense posts coming up … apologise if it all appears a bit nonsensical.