Remembering what blogging is about ….

Yesterday I had a comment from Vanessa who reads my blog – she directed me to the blog she had started for her daughter – http://www.kendrameiring.blogspot.com

I did not know about Kendra, so I took the time to read the blog.  I also do not Vanessa who reads my blog.

I started with the last dozen blog posts.  But I got so immersed that I went to read from the beginning.  I found myself drinking tea, sniffing snot and sobbing all at the same time.

Kendra’s Mom has done what I think makes blogs so powerful.

She has shared a personal story, her personal experiences, for no other reason that to write about her stuff.  And she allows people like me who happen upon it to read her story.

Maybe it was for record keeping purposes for family that could not be with her.  Maybe it was a way to document who Kendra was and the impact her short life had on Kendra’s Mom and those around her.

I am not sure of the reason.  But when you read it, it is a mother’s story about her daughter and what she did each day, and when she was gone, how Vanessa tried to cope as a mother.  A mother of a child who was no longer there.  But always there.

Vanessa is not trying to make a statement, not trying to lure prospective advertisers, not trying to make herself the most successful blogger with a book deal of all time.  She is just sharing her story with honesty and without an agenda.

I really really love blogging.  There are blogs which I really love reading.  I love them because of how their honesty resonates with me and how they tell me a story, or open my mind to something or a way of thinking that I had not considered before.

I get that it would be great to blog, to make money and retire in the style one has grown accustomed, but I do think that something unfortunate has started to creep in to blogging.

Bloggers have started to write in the hope that they will be published, or be courted by the big names in advertising.  Or maybe they haven’t and their style of blogging has changed, and maybe I am not as big a fan of the new style as I was of the old.

I am not in any way holding anything against bloggers who have grown in publicity, who have managed to align themselves with some powerful advertisers – I really really do wish them all the best, and of course I am pleased that they have taken their blog to the next level.

I do appreciate that blogging is hard work.  And if you are good, work hard, and clever enough to market your blog well, then why should you not go on to bigger and better things and make money through your blog?  No reason what so ever, off you go and do that and do it well I say.

As a blog reader I have started to feel something is being lost.

A raw honesty – often the reason bloggers start to blog – is being eroded in the quest to remain the most popular and the most attractive to advertisers.

I understand that not everyone’s life can read like a daily car accident  — but I do think bloggers write differently when they do not have a hidden motive or agenda.

There is something in their honesty, their “just being present” that is often difficult to hold on to once there is someone else who can direct a blogger, or dictate how a blog should appear, or who the blogger feels they need to start blogging towards.

Anyway, today I read about Kendra, and I got to be part of her life, even if it was for just an hour or two – and I got to know her through her mother’s eyes even if it was for a brief few moments.

Today I am off to Durbanville Memorial Park and to see if I can spend a few quiet minutes with Kendra Meiring.

Kendra230409a

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9 Comments

  1. Hi Celeste, your post reminded me of one I read recently over at http://midlandsmusings.com/2013/03/11/honesty-and-blogging/
    I can appreciate that for some blogging is a way of earning an income but really, we are exposed to enough advertising on a constant basis and that’s not what I want to read about when I visit someone’s blog. I am far more interested in sharing, and reading about, stories about how people experience the world and people around them.

    I don’t mind if it’s something someone genuinely wants to share, like an amazing weekend away that the boyfriend surprised her with and we must go and see for ourselves. But don’t tell me what bottle to use for my baby or what lipstick is great. I just stop reading.

    A haunting, heartfelt story from ‘V’. Thank you for sharing x

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  April 8, 2013

      Thanks for the link — I had not read the post, I did this morning.

      Reply
  2. Tania

     /  April 5, 2013

    I went off and read the blog for Kendra too. How precious and special. I cannot begin to understand all the pain & suffering by Mom V.

    Reply
  3. hear, hear!

    Reply
  4. well said Celeste. i don’t care what anyone says but pretence ALWAYS creeps into writing if its not honest and sincere. By pretence I mean ulterior motives, blogging for more readers or advertisers or whatever . I pick it up immediatly. I must say I prefer bloggers that blog about all sorts of topics than one particluar topic, such as their kids.

    Reply
    • p.s Having said that, I followed your link to Kendra’s blog and I also cried and sniffed while I read it. So special to share something which must have had a profound effect on life as one knows it.

      Reply
  5. I turned my blog to private last week due to my custody battle and since then I have started blogging none stop again. I stopped for a while, didn’t find the inspiration anymore to write because I was being judged by so many that I was to personal and to honest. I invite people I know to be readers on my blog and I will one day make it public again, but it has reminded me of why I started in the first place.

    Reply
  6. Hi, thanks for the mention. Say hi to Kendra for me. We don’t get out to the memorial park very often but I know that quite a few people stop by to spend a few minutes with her. You are right, I did start the blog to keep everyone informed about what was going on with her and then when she died I found it really helped me to express what I was feeling. And mostly I got positive feedback or heard from others who were going through the same type of thing so it really helped with the healing process. After my son was born I decided to create a new blog as I felt this was Kendra’s space and I did not want to put other stuff on it. But I am not a good blogger anymore, I feel it has served its purpose and now there is Facebook for sharing happy family photos with everyone.
    PS: Kendra’s spot is to the right before you get to the little bridge, there is a bench too. I am so glad we decided to use DMP, it is really such a lovely peaceful spot to sit.

    Reply
    • reluctantmom

       /  April 4, 2013

      I did get out there, put some lavender from my garden on her grave, and sat on her bench for a little bit. It was very peaceful.

      Reply

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