An ode to Same Sameness ….

Melinda over at Diaries of a White Mother Raising a Black Baby posted this awesome balls post about Same Sameness.

It is a wonderfully written post about her daughter Emma asking about “same sameness” and how as a family they might be different, but not so different.

We often use “eye colour” in our house to indicate to our children that being different is not a good thing or a bad thing.  It is just a thing.

Connor, Isabelle and I have blue eyes.

Kennith and Georgia have hazel eyes.

When ever the kids come up with a reason why they are different/better/worse than another family member, or even someone at school we usually draw them back to eye colour.

Eye colour is such an INSIGNIFICANT measure of someone’s worth.

Having blue eyes does not make you smarter, clever, or run faster than someone with brown eyes.

Brown eyes do not mean you can read quicker, or can make better Nutella toast than someone with blue or green eyes.

Having eyes what ever colour they are — are just that, a colour.

The colour is not loaded with stereotypes of who is better or worse, or who makes a person more nice or more clever than someone else.  It is just the colour of your eyes.  A colour.  Just there.  No value.  No hidden skills or attributes.

If some one got a good mark at school or was picked for the cricket team and you asked your child what colour eyes they had — odds are your child would say “I have no idea” and really, isn’t that just the point when we look at people.

We see what they do.  It is separate from the colour of their hair, their eyes and their skin.


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  1. Kennith

     /  April 5, 2013


  2. Tania

     /  April 5, 2013

    My daughter does dancing lessons with a little black girl, amongst other little white girls. Taffy is her name. Her Mom was chatting, as us Mom’s do while sitting alongside our children’s extra murals, she says that Taffy came home the other day from school asking her Mom if she was black? We all burst out laughing @ the innocence and how children do not notice the colour of their skins. It’s the adults who bring colour into the picture.


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