The outing to the bottle store …..


So I am at the bottle store this afternoon, trying to buy two bottles of wine with three children in tow.

As you do.

Standing in the queue to pay.  Not a very long queue.  No problems here.

True as nuts, a man who who clearly is height-challenged joins the queue behind me. I am not sure what the correct term is – but clearly he was shorter “than normal” and his body was slightly out of proportion.

No problem.

It’s a bottle store, who am I to judge.

Isabelle points – not subtly – but points, and then hoots with laughter.  I have no idea what she is saying, but she is hooting and pointing, like you do at a circus – and she starts jumping from foot to foot and HOO-FUCKING-TING.

I cling a bit closer to my two wine bottles, and start to prey to the gods of bottle-store-queues that I can pay and get the hell out of there.

I turn to him and smile and say “Sorry …..”

Georgia who never wants to be left behind, also starts speaking in a high pitched voice, pointing, squeeling and hiding behind me — and also speaking in a REALLY LOUD VOICE FOR A BOTTLE STORE.

I actually have no idea what she is saying, because I am trying to put a bottle in each ear and sign LA-LA-LA-LA-LA really really loudly.

Again I turn around, smile and say: “I really am sorry, I have tried to lose them in retail outlets, but they keep finding me….”

Isabelle picks up the slack, and is laughing, holding her tummy and sort of bending over double …

Again, I turn around and apologise profusely.

I did promise that as soon as we get home I would have a conversation with my kids about inappropriate pointing and speaking in really loud voices.

Eventually it was over. I could leave. This guy could pay for his purchase and I could herd my kids into the car.

I am off to the library to look for a book titled: “We are all different and we definitely should not scream and point whilst in a bottle store queue!!”

Every time I think I have this parenting thing right, then one visit to the bottle store and I realise it might be to give Jo Frost a call.

and meanwhile someone drops their baby … but doesn’t drop the call ….



Have a happy weekend, where ever you might be!!

Leave a comment


  1. LOL. Jayden isnt old enough to embarrass me yet. But my turn is coming soon.

  2. Jenny

     /  October 4, 2013


  3. LOL! There are times with Ava where I have prayed for the ground to open up and swallow me! I wrote about one such incident here:
    A woman with no arms was nearly my death by embarrassment!


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