So I am at the bottle store this afternoon, trying to buy two bottles of wine with three children in tow.
As you do.
Standing in the queue to pay. Not a very long queue. No problems here.
True as nuts, a man who who clearly is height-challenged joins the queue behind me. I am not sure what the correct term is – but clearly he was shorter “than normal” and his body was slightly out of proportion.
It’s a bottle store, who am I to judge.
Isabelle points – not subtly – but points, and then hoots with laughter. I have no idea what she is saying, but she is hooting and pointing, like you do at a circus – and she starts jumping from foot to foot and HOO-FUCKING-TING.
I cling a bit closer to my two wine bottles, and start to prey to the gods of bottle-store-queues that I can pay and get the hell out of there.
I turn to him and smile and say “Sorry …..”
Georgia who never wants to be left behind, also starts speaking in a high pitched voice, pointing, squeeling and hiding behind me — and also speaking in a REALLY LOUD VOICE FOR A BOTTLE STORE.
I actually have no idea what she is saying, because I am trying to put a bottle in each ear and sign LA-LA-LA-LA-LA really really loudly.
Again I turn around, smile and say: “I really am sorry, I have tried to lose them in retail outlets, but they keep finding me….”
Isabelle picks up the slack, and is laughing, holding her tummy and sort of bending over double …
Again, I turn around and apologise profusely.
I did promise that as soon as we get home I would have a conversation with my kids about inappropriate pointing and speaking in really loud voices.
Eventually it was over. I could leave. This guy could pay for his purchase and I could herd my kids into the car.
I am off to the library to look for a book titled: “We are all different and we definitely should not scream and point whilst in a bottle store queue!!”
Every time I think I have this parenting thing right, then one visit to the bottle store and I realise it might be to give Jo Frost a call.
and meanwhile someone drops their baby … but doesn’t drop the call ….
Have a happy weekend, where ever you might be!!