This morning was probably a good example of why hitting children should be banned ….

Georgia is on Ritalin.

Georgia is not able to swallow pills or capsules.

I have spent a considerable about of time, money and tears to find something to hide drugs in, and then feed it to my child.

In some cases unknowingly – I knew, she didn’t = never worked.

I open the capsure, and crush the tablet, then put all the pieces onto a spoon – does my morning sound too much like a meth lab?

I then carefully hide the granules in:  a strawberry, a inside a slice of bread with peanut butter or chocolate spread on it, a strawberry milkshake, a salticrax biscuit with chocolate spread, inside a slice of a tomato — pretty much anything that I think she might actually eat.

{these are all things she eats with relish on any other day}

I have tried nearly everything and still cannot get it down her throat without a huge fight ensuing.

The present tactic is we make a Salticrax biscuit with chocolate spread on it, put the crushed granules onto the spread, put another Salticrax biscuit on the top.

Put the little biscuit chocolate sandwich into a plastic container.  I give it to her in the car whilst we are driving to school, so I can watch that she eats it, and because she takes so long I have the entire drive to school for her to get through the biscuit, which under normal circumstances would take her 8.4 seconds to eat.

This week I have arrived at school and she still has not finished eating the biscuit.  So I sit in the car until she finishes the biscuit, then she is late as this might take another 15 minutes (which means this is more than a half an hour to finish a biscuit) – usually by this point I am so angry that I want to scream/insert am already screaming.

I am so frustrated and the morning drive is filled with moaning, begging, screaming, crying, pleading, threatening and exasperation – all me.

Whilst Georgia looks at me with her liquid hazel eyes and says “But I don’t want to eat it ……”

Yesterday I totally lost my shit in the school parking lot – and at some point I threw the biscuit out and sent her to school with that “YOU HAVE REALLY UPSET MOMMY” tone that only a mother who has seriously lost her shit can do.

Of course then I had to drive back and hunt the stupid salticrax down and throw it away properly.  The school has lots of squirrels and all I needed was to find out some hyper, coked out ritalin squirrel had gone shit-faced on the school playground – and I would be responsible for what ever gangsta style damage a squirrel could do.

Crawling around picking up Salticrax in the school parking lot is probably not the highest point of parenting that one could reach.  It really trumps all the soft-lighting Living and Loving photographs of you wish your newborn, mesmerised by her beauty and fantasizing about all the wonderful mommy-and-daughter things you would do.

This morning I went with plan G67U-D and put the ground up granules into  a strawberry milkshake.

Just when I thought I had outfoxed her, she finished the milk, and saw all the gunk at the bottom and thought “bugger that, no way I am eating that…” — she did pose it better, but that was the gist of it.

Fortunately I just hid in the bedroom.

Kennith decided to try his deft hand at aggressive parenting.  Georgia just kept repeating “But I don’t want to eat that …” and no matter what he did,that was her responses in this small voice.

Kennith worked through all his parenting resources, then tried screaming, threatening, promising she will never leave her room, that we will home school her, that she will never see Sponge Bob alive again …. nothing worked.

Georgia was in tears.

Kennith was angry – and we still did not have the medication anywhere near her digestive tract.

By the time I came through, I saw the offending piece of chocolate spread bread on the counter – Georgia with big tears on her eyelashes, and I just could not face this fight again.

I called the kids to get ready and I am not sure what I said to Georgia – I knew she had already had a hard morning and I knew that there was no way I could do anything to get this bread down her throat.

Just as I was about to sigh and just move on she goes “Mom, why don’t you put in a plastic lunchbox we can take in the car and I will promise to eat in on the way to school?”

I did put it in a plastic lunch box and I gave it to her in the car, expecting the same result as every day so far, but lo-and-behold I look in my rear view mirror and there she is happily eating her bread.

I said “thank you Georgia….” and then when we get to the school she says to me “why don’t I promise each day that I will eat the bread, and I can’t break a promise….”

Parenting skills = 0 points

Outstanding, unique, beautiful from the tips of her toes to the top of head, daughter – who some times we parent the entirely wrong way, because we forget that her brain just works totally differently to ours ……. = All the points

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12 Comments

  1. Christiane Allen Pitts

     /  October 24, 2013

    My daughter is 15 but has been on epilepsy medications since she was about 4 years old. At first they gave her little sprinkles that we would put over apple sauce or yogurt. As she got older, her seizures changed and we went from the sweet innocent sprinkles to huge horse pills. I would bribe/threaten her almost everyday in the mornings and nights to take the meds. You know what finally worked for us? BARBEQUE SAUCE. I know that sounds crazy but we do live in Texas, after all. I let her start to choose what she wanted to dunk her pills in. One day barbeque sauce and the next it would be maybe ranch dressing. Maybe that is an option if the pills Georgia takes are large? Cam loved it because it tasted better and she also got to have a choice about how she would take it. Hope that helps?

    Reply
  2. Alli

     /  October 20, 2013

    Just wanted to let you know that my son is also on a form of Ritalin, and has tried every pill out there, but they all upset his stomach. To my surprise, they make a patch with the same medication as Ritalin–like a nicotine patch, ha. It’s called Daytrana and has worked well for us the past few weeks. Only downside is redness and irritation where the patch is applied. 🙂

    Reply
  3. Loved this post Celeste. Too few people who could put coked out squirrels and their outstanding, unique daughters in the same story;)

    Reply
  4. OH gosh, this is me tomorrow moning. Wish me luck

    Reply
  5. Alexandra

     /  October 18, 2013

    Am I missing the point? If Ritalin is a medication for children why does it only come in tablet form??????

    Reply
    • It does not come as a syrup as it is a schedule 7 drug, and for what ever reason syrup is more easily abused — no idea either, the doctor, the other doctor, the third doctor and the pharmacist had the same line.

      It comes in a small white pill for the “immediate” effect dose, and a capsule for the slow release dose.
      I think ….. that has been my experience, I try not to google this stuff, as it always leads to anal leakage and nipple hair.

      Reply
  6. I had the same issue with my son when he had to start taking the Ritalin. I feel your pain and frustration. … I also started the jelly tots idea and then moved to the peanuts which seemed to work better. Now he is able to swallow the capsules… Good luck… I hope she starts to be brave enough to swallow the pills soon…

    Reply
  7. Leanne

     /  October 18, 2013

    Thank you…I now have tears in my eyes…we have had many moments when our kids make us feel like absolute boobs too.
    Awesome little girl…

    Reply
  8. A trick for teaching pill swallowing- worth a try. Start with half a jellytot. Increase to a full jellytot. Once they can swallow the jellytot they can do the pill. Good luck

    Reply

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