I really am struggling to write a blog post right now ….

I am not a big fan of the Xmas season – there is so much pressure to have a good time.  My diary is full of places I must go, things I must do, places I must take the kids and just running around.

There is the incessant need to shop and purchase things, complete your shopping list …. and and and …..

I really start to feel depressed over this time of year.  Xmas means you need to be super happy, and want to spend a lot of time with other really happy people.

The idea of so many social engagements makes me stressed and anxious – but ’tis not the season to climb under my duvet and act like a hermit.

I am a bit overwhelmed by the slight overflow of Facebook status updates of how everyone is so proud of their children.  There are photos of certificates from “attendance” to “trying really hard” and everything in between.  And many “I am so proud” parents.

I am glad they are proud.   I am happy they are happy.

I get a bit despondent by the mediocrity.  I am waiting for the Facebook of parents who are just happy they survived the year and that they wish their child had maybe tried a bit harder.

I realise that might not be the most politically correct thing to say, so I won’t.

I have realised that I have been a bit absent from my blog – and that is just because I have felt a lot very absent of late.  From my life.  A bit like a silent bystander watching me sort of fumble through the day.  I just cannot get my shit together.

I usually avoid listening to the news – not because I am trying to bury my head in the sand, but I have chosen to rather listen to audio books when I drive.  I used to listen to CapeTalk which is a non-stop stream of talk … as you would gauge from the name.

The downside is that I used to feel a bit “over informed” and “over stimulated” by the constant updates, and chatter – and my “inside head voices” never got a chance to just be quiet.

I finished an audio book earlier this week and I switched the news on so that I could do a quick catch up between putting in a new audio book to listen to.

Running on the first news bulletin was the story of the 6 week old baby who had been raped by her “uncle” in the Northern Cape.  It was horrific.

Because my kids were in the car and I do try my best to not hide them from reality, it meant we had to have a discussion about rape.  Babies.  6 week old babies.

And pretty much how fucked up things are right now.

It is so very fucked up.

Then I thought about Melissa Bachman – and how that image was flashed on everyone’s facebook status update and how people wanted to get behind a lynch mob.   I was wondering if there was a way to harness that energy and get people to go up to the Northern Cape or at the very least show as much anger and blood-lust as they did about Melissa.

Who by the way, I still do not give a toss about.

I realised that there was more chatter on Social Media platforms about the hail that there was about the rape of a 6 week old baby.

I remembered that there is a justice system that needs to run it’s course.  And I wondered if it ever would.

I wondered why we can put our dogs to sleep, but we can’t club rapists and child abusers or at the very least put them to sleep.

I wish I could think of a solution.  I wish I had some idea of what the hell we are doing when children are growing up into adults who rape babies.  

Somewhere something is very wrong. I am not quite sure at whose door to lay the blame.

I am not sure whether we are all to blame in some way.  How did we all fail this baby – and the hundreds and thousands of babies and children in this country who are victims of rape?  How the hell is this the world we live in?

What does it say about our country when a woman cannot put her baby down in her room to sleep, and return to find the baby safe and sound?

I wondered whether the campaign called 16 Days of Activism against Women and Children really needs to be retired.  Not because it is not needed, but because it has proven to just not have the legs.

I got angry that so many people get all worked about hail, e-tolling and Melissa Bachman …. but no so much about what is happening all around us.

I got angry that our president and his faction are so involved in a “build a large dream home including marques and crazy paving” project that they have no time, no energy and actually very little interest to do anything about the rape epidemic in this country.

I just got sad, angry, and realised I cannot actually write a post about this in a sane manner.

Leave a comment


  1. Thanks for saying what I wanted to but couldn’t. It’s a big reason I stopped blogging. But I think what you said desperately needs to be said.

  2. So true. I was sitting in my lounge when the newsreader on the radio-channel read the news about the 6 week old baby’s rape. I am currently heavily pregnant with number 2. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe after the news were read that there was no further comment from the radio-staff about that specific bit of the news. They talked about something arb instead. I was like: what ? Is that it ? No mention at all about the baby ???? I guess it’s about numbing ourselves against this sort of onslaught on our senses if you are exposed to such violence on a routine basis.
    I moved back to SA just over a year ago, and I cannot fathom how ‘accepted’ this sort of thing is here. I guess there’s nothing to do against such a huge tide as this but to simply ‘accept’ ? NO ! It cannot be. We have a duty and a right as parents to protect our children. The law needs to be clear on this. There need to be consequences for current and would-be perpetrators to see and hear about. When it comes to children – this world’s FUTURE, after all – It is not up for debate!!! Mandela will be (or is) turning in his grave for eff’ssakes!

  3. Alexandra

     /  December 3, 2013

    We really are on the same page. Another great post that spoke to my heart. I have to be very careful what news I read – emotional overload – I cannot cope with all the horror and sadness there is in the world but especially our country.

  4. well written Celeste. I’ve missed your frank and candid posts. This time of the year is mad.Reading or hearing about the raping of little kids/babies finishes me off. My mind scrambles and i dont know how to cope.

    you have such a knack at putting in the obvious into words. Something that stares us in the face. I’m talking particularly about the reaction to Melissa Bachman and the “lack” of reaction to baby rapists. Wow, I never saw it like that. You’ve shifted my outlook ever so slightly.

    I must say I never understood the outrage towards Melissa.

    I’m afraid, it’s all become too much for me and I now switch the news off, stopped reading the papers. All for a little while anyway.

    A few years ago, a friend and I decided we WOULD not succumb to the Silly Season and now we just say NO! I only go to social events that I feel like going to. I only choose to support charities that I feel like supporting and prefer to make a difference throughout the year rather than just at Christmas time.

    I do love Christmas. It appeals to my “relentless shopping syndrome”. One time of the year where I have a reason to just shop with abandon. Also, I get to see my family when we all get together at the beach.

    Thanks for this frank post.


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