I hesitated to share this. Not because it’s private. Or controversial. But I’m afraid people will misinterpret it as an absolute.
And if there’s one universal truth about divorce, it’s that there are no absolutes.
I’m sharing this because I see a need. A void. People reaching out and wondering if their feelings are okay for the place they’re in. We all want to know that we’re “normal” and we seek reassurances that we are while silently worrying that we’re not.
In fact, it makes you feel worse.
Your feelings are what they at this moment.
And that’s okay.
And it’s also okay to want them to be different and then to work towards making them different (notice the intent is paired with action!).
I am sharing the rough outline of my emotions and mindset at different periods throughout and after my divorce. Please do not use this as a ruler to measure your own progress. Just because I reached a certain benchmark at month eight doesn’t mean you should too.
In fact, ban the word “should” from your mind as you read this. What I hope you get from this timeline is an idea of how healing comes in slowly, even as you’re living. I want you to find comfort in the fact that it’s okay to still struggle after X amount of time has passed. My wish is that you don’t feel alone and that you have faith that you will be healed one day.
Timeline of a Divorce
Posted by reluctantmom on July 29, 2014