I am physically unable to poop if someone is nearby.
That someone could be anyone.
I used to be at boarding school – I did not go to the toilet from Monday through to Friday – because you have these large rooms of toilets and showers, and there is just no way you are in there alone.
I used to try to wake up at 3am, but true as nuts I would be terrified someone would walk in, so totally unable to go.
By Friday I was bleeding from my eyeballs!
I still cannot go to the bathroom, if there is someone in my home, or if I am in someone’s home, or in a public bathroom.
I will literally be crying, knowing that if I took too deep a breath I would shit in my pants — but still I would hold out, I just cannot go.
This picture is exactly what happens when I go to a public bathroom, and that is just to wee.
A few months ago, I was at a very dodgy bar. It really was past the point of where dodgy was dodgy – what ever is the word to be used for “most dodgy”. Any the who, at a certain point I had an overriding urge to urinate.
The type where if you do not go NOW you will actually just pee in your pants.
I was standing outside the one stall bathroom for women – past hopping from foot to foot – to the point where I was pleading to be permitted to use the bathroom. I think I might have already been making nail scratches in the door and begging in a very high pitched voice.
Eventually the cubicle door opens and said girl looks at me and says “you really sound desperate” to which I reply “yes, I am going to pee in my pants ….. right now …… please I really need to use the bathroom”
She opens the door wider, and I notice she is not making any movements to leave the cubicle, whilst I use the facilities.
Normally this would be awkward beyond awkard, and I would stand there and mumble.
But this night was not one of those, this was, if I do not pee now, I am going to be pee’ing in my pants. And no matter how dodgy this bar was or is, a girl peeing in her pants is not going to be overlooked, as just another low point of the evening.
I decide to just shelve my issue with pee’ing/shitting in front of someone.
I have no idea why she was still in the cubicle, with me. On the upside the cubicle was considerably big, so it was not like we were pressed against each other. We could have served snacks and invited a few other people to join in. I was part the point of delving into the mystery of what exactly was going on here.
I had about a liter of urine that needed to be removed from my body immediately – else my jeans were going to become a large in efficient sponge.
Dropped pants, sat on the commode, and felt that relief you do when urine is not being poured into your pants.
I could barely speak for the joy and relief. Bliss is a word I would throw around here.
At some point, once the initial pressure had subsided it gave me time to take in my surroundings, and notice that this girl was still in the cubicle with me.
When you need to pee, you really start to bring your standards down quite a few notches.
I looked around at her, she was behind me, I smiled, and said “thanks so much” — and she said “not a problem” and then continued to snort cocaine off the cistern.
I knew that this was not normal. I felt she could look at my lilly white arse whilst she was snorting off the cistern. I am not sure which part of this I found more disturbing. I was sort of thankful I had decent underwear on. I think it is a girl thing.
I also knew I had flashed my ass, and all the other bits to a stranger I had never met, and who appeared to be making very different life choices from me. At the time.
I however still had about 340 ml of urine to get out – so I wasn’t going anywhere in a hurry.
And so this strange “friendship” was formed. I finished what I needed to do, wiped, flushed, washed my hands, thanked her again for her generosity of letting me into the cubicle, and wished her a good night further.
Okay so that ranked as one of my stranger experiences of that particular week.