At your lowest, it is still not this ….

So I am internet dating. No secret.  It still bears a stigma, so we do not talk about it in polite company.  I think it might be more acceptable to say I am a prostitute.

I do not go around wearing a t-shirt announcing it – the internet dating, not the prostitute thing — keep up now.  The reality is what are the chances of me meeting a semi-stable male person who is single, or not in jail?

I will tell you incase you have not done this experiment, the chances are almost nil actually.  I can’t quite meet people at work ….. I work for myself, you see how that is weird?

I have to fling myself onto the cattle market that is internet dating and die a thousand deaths.  Daily.

My friend told me she saw her friend’s husband on a site once.

Well that got awkward fast.

Internet dating, by it’s sheer ludicrously, allows for several hours of funny stories, a few really embarrassing ones, and several that I prefer never to talk about unless I am on some sort of strong medication and restrained by a medical professional (not the one mentioned further in this piece just so we are on the same page here)..

You meet some lovely people.  You meet some questionable people, and then you meet the people who will hold your hair back whilst you are up-chucking. I am stylish like that, see.

Which basically means I am chatting to people who could be the 12 year old boy next door or a 78 year old woman in Geneva.  It is all pretty Dating in the Dark stuff – and you need to keep your wits about you.  I firm dose of humour, and always keep Barney’s words in mind “Stranger Danger.”

{does it bother you, or maybe raise an eyebrow that in that show there is a character called BJ.  Of all the names they could use, they settled on BJ, why not just go to the next level and call him ANAL?  Maybe I just do not understand the market they are trying to appeal to}

There are so many lows in the process that I can’t even list them.

I had a theory that I would sit and jot these down one day, but that day is never going to come.  Things have got so murky, my lines in the sand have been smudged so badly, that I am starting to doubt whether some things I recall actually happened.

I got this message today – with a few photographs:

Hi, I read ur story. Interested in you. I am Dr *******. South Korea medical Dr. work at khaleitsha area. prevent Hiv.Aids person. I majored gynaecology for female. Recently I looking for good friend.

I am not sure what to make of this.

He is looking for a good friend, he has majored in gynaecology.  I like the way he is specific and says “gynaecology for females” …. as opposed to?  Say ….. is there any other kind of vagina doctor I don’t know about?

Anyway, I am going to say thanks, but no thanks.  And then try to find the door to get the hell out of this rather strange place. For today, I will be back tomorrow, I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame —- a large petrol fueled flame!!

I am sure he is wonderful.

I am sure he is.

I am sure that I am never going to find out.

Good luck strange doctor guy.  Good luck.

Me – cheese and riced, I really need to take stock of my life sooner or later.

InternetDating

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6 Comments

  1. Alexandra

     /  May 27, 2015

    The “seeing your friend’s husband on internet dating” thing happened to my sister a couple of years ago. In all fairness he was in the process of getting a divorce (unlike many of the men on internet dating) but they hadn’t told the friends yet so it was still a bit of a shocker. What gets me is the number of married men on internet dating looking for a bit on the side.

    Reply
  2. I experimented briefly some years ago… I see not much has changed 😁

    Reply
  3. Heather

     /  May 20, 2015

    Shame seems like you got stuck with some bad ones. In real life you get bad ones too. I met my husband on the internet but not before I had met a few bad ones too. You have to keep trying.

    Reply
  4. Tanya Nel

     /  May 19, 2015

    Hey – ref para 3. Just so ya know. It’s apparently “International Masturbation Month”. Also, I am told by some dodgy website, it “reaches it’s climax on 28th May”. Good to know we were born in this month….

    Reply
  5. Katrina

     /  May 19, 2015

    I am unfamiliar with internet dating because I met my husband long before the internet was popular but part of me would love to try speed dating (not to cheat on my husband, it just looks really fun!) You get two minutes to chat and then move on to the next person in the line. I probably only have about two minutes worth of conversation about myself before I get awkward normally so it would be perfect for me lol. Good luck with your dating adventures in the future. Make sure you keep us updated on all the good ones (and the bad ones because they are funny) =)

    Reply
  6. JOYCE

     /  May 19, 2015

    I am finished… and he didn’t even say he wanted to give you $200 000…? He could at least have made it a little more attractive by offering you money like the other guys that e-mail us out of the blue do!

    Reply

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