Where It All Began…. The Birth Of The Blessed Barrenness

I read this post earlier today.

It stands out for me as one of the most beautiful, painful, powerful and a blog post that is such an incredible show that it takes my breath away.

Sharon is such a powerful woman, who has overcome shit and things, and continues to find a way to make gin-and-tonic out of all the lemons life has handed her.

Read her post:

It’s 20h18 on Thursday, 12th September. A very very significant date in my life for the very very longest time and yet there has been so much water under the bridge and so much healing has happened, that the date almost past by unnoticed. In fact, if it weren’t for the fact that one of my closest friends turned 50 on this day, 11 years ago, I would not even have remembered.

Today, 11 years ago, I woke to the sound of my alarm, as I did every morning. Turned off the alarm and lay in bed attempting to wake up fully, when I felt something wet in the bed…. when I got out of the bed, the bed was full of blood and it was gushing down my legs. Just a few days prior, after being a few weeks late for my period, my pregnancy had been confirmed and now here I was bleeding and I knew, in my heart of hearts, in that instant,I knew that there was too much blood for this to be “normal” pregnancy bleeding. I knew it was over, I knew I’d lost the baby… and shortly there after, after a rush to our local ER, my worst fear was confirmed.

And that is where my journey began… that is where this story started… the toughest trial of my life began on the 12th September 2002. What followed where some of my worst fears and horrors, 7 miscarriages, multiple surgeries, thousands of injections, hundreds of blood tests, what followed broke me and rebuilt me into who I am today. What followed was heartache and heart break like I could never have imagined before I was robbed of my “innocence”, before I learned that worst case scenario can play out over and over and over again. Before I learned that I was going to be the exception and not the rule. Before I learned that I was infertile, before I learned that I was chosen for a path less traveled.

Read the rest of her blog post here —————->>

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I dare you not to stand up and applaud …..

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I squeezed this blog out of my loins …. well almost

Yesterday was my blogs birthday.  My first blog post ran on the 21 August 2009 – so Reluctant Mom is four years old today.

For those who don’t know me, it’s okay, I often wake up at night wondering if I know myself.  I do often wonder how I managed to get myself into this position – the position of being mom to three children.  When the number one issue is that I don’t actually like children (sure I like my own now, but I never played with dolls, and really tend to cringe back in terror when a young snotty happy faced short person runs towards me), and more importantly number two, I was very sure that I never wanted children.

My partner – Kennith – wanted children from the get go, I was very very reluctant and every time we had the conversation would wrap it up by saying “next year” knowing full well that next year was not going to be coming.  Six years into our relationship we had reached a cross-roads/an impasse and I fell pregnant with our first child when I was 28.  It was a totally planned endeavour.  This did not stop me sitting in the bath and crying like a knocked up 15 year old.  Read the rest of the post here …….

In blog years four is ancient.

Not the oldest, but definitely in the zimmer frame and spittle on the bottom lip when you talk category.

I have seen blogs that have come and gone.  Blogs that I have enjoyed and then started to peter out.

I have watched new blogs blossom, grow and then look like they were going to take over the world.

Then there is this one, that putters along at it’s own pace.  Some days willing itself to die, other days rising above it all to find true love in Tokai Forest.

I read through some of my earlier posts and I wonder how I could be so worried and so worked up about something then, that now would barely get a snort out of me.

I change, I learn, I make mistakes, I have the occasional emotional vomit.  I have tried to be disciplined about what I say here I would say to your face over dinner …. usually after two bottles of wine.

I never go back and delete a post, because when I think or say something at the time, that is how I feel.  I realise that as time shifts so does my perception of events and also my emotional reaction to something usually lessens, and with 20/20 hindsight it did look like I was really getting my panties into a bit of a knot.

This blog has helped me to process shit.  This blog has helped me to think out loud and have somewhere to put it.  This blog has connected me to so many people and their lives that I would never have encountered any other way.

Many of those people have move out of the “imaginary friends in cyber space” kind to the ones I sit and have dinner and wine with.

Thank you to the nearly 500 000 views that my blog has received.

Thank you to the 6 908 comments that have been left.  I hope both these numbers double!

Thanks to all the funny comments, the really clever comments, the comments that have made me examine my thinking in a constructive manner, the snubs, the rebukes, the odd stalker and heavy breather who came along and left his/her little bit of sticky on this blog.

I was thrilled to have spent a few cyber seconds with every one of you.

Thank you for sharing my love of books, and supporting some of my hair-brained schemes and ideas.

I can’t promise I will be here in 4 years.

I can however promise that future posts will be peppered with questionable grammar and too frequent use of fuck/fek/fkc/friggn/freakn and anything that rhymes with tomatoe.

Happy Birthday Reluctant Mom Blog – you are sort of awesome in all sorts of ways!!

Hip-hip-hooray!!!

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An era ends ….. Jou ma se blog

I feel like I am faced with the imminent death of something/someone I have come to rely on.

Granted I do not read her blog every day, I usually build up a bit of a backlog, make myself a cup of tea, eat a bag of Chuckles and then catch up on the last three weeks I have missed.

Jou ma se blog is part of the thread of my day.  My week, and how I check that things in the world are still in alignment with the universe – and that good sane parents exist, even in trying circumstances.

Margot is easily one of the most talented bloggers.   I have read her blog since I stumbled upon it all those years ago.  I often go back and read a blog post again, because she has said something that comes to me in a flash of light when I am doing something else.  And then I must go back and read the post again.

She is funny.  Makes me snort.  She has an honesty about her that resonates with me – she is always there, and I can always go and read about her life, with her boys.  She is ALWAYS THERE dammit, well until she isn’t.

Margot is hanging up her keyboard, and the eternal never has an end Jou me se blog has in fact comes to an end.  A grinding halt one might say.

I feel sad. Bereft in fact.

I do realise I am overreacting, and she is not actually dead.  But I am still going to wear a black arm band for the balance of the week.  Cover all the mirrors in my house, and curl up in a little ball on my bed and wonder how this could have happened.

And more importantly how this could have happened TO ME!

I am sure I will be able to stalk Margot as she writes for other publications.

I will still be able to smile at her wry humour, and her ability to say it right, and make it funny – and tell the truth no matter how alarming it might be.  But reading things that are “not on her blog” won’t be the same — there will not be the same thread of what happens with Sean, Felix and Richie.

Jou Ma se Blog, I will miss you.  You have been the cornerstone on which many of us have built our blogs, and our sanity.

I started blogging on the 21 August 2009, and I think like all bloggers, I needed to look at established bloggers and what they were doing to help me find my “voice” in the blogosphere.

Chick, you will so be sorely missed by Me!

I miss you already as my week is starting knowing that there is no Jou Ma se Blog post to turn to.  But as Dr Seuss so eloquently said: “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” 

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Tweeting and onesies for adults …..

In an effort to catch up to 2010, I have finally started using Twitter.

What I mean by using, is that I follow about 150 people and gobble up their tweets like they are manna from heaven.  It seems that there are some seriously funny/despicable/morally decrepit people on Twitter.

It does make me very warm and smiley, and more envious that people can be that clever with such a limited character base.

I am  nervous to tweet.

I feel like I have just arrived at a party, everyone is there, everyone is funny, intoxicated, dressed to impress, and I am standing there wearing dungarees with a bag of opened Chuckles in the pocket in front.  I am wondering how to strike up conversation, but I am wondering if I should pour a drink and go into the kitchen and wash dishes —- that is a good way to be useful, and remove myself from the social pressure, and maybe have the odd person talk to me as they come in to the kitchen to refill their drink and they will say “hey, why you are you washing dishes ….”

I tweet and then sit there and wait for someone to respond.

No one does.  I am actually not sure exactly how it works.

This further adds to the sense of “wearing a head brace” and Bata Toughees to a Marie Claire party full of swanky good looking, rich and successful people.  Feeling awkward.

This morning I opened Twitter – as I do with my morning cup of tea, and I was like WTF??

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Three tweets I have no recollection of posting.  I panicked and thought “fk, fk, fk, please please please do not let me have much in the way of damage control to do………what the hell have I done and who to???  Can I blame it on the Facebook Hacker shit?  Can I?  Can I?”

I calmed down, and reread the posts and I thought they were pretty good – I did not realise I was that clever.  I am also pretty funny.  No freaking idea where that came from.

If you received an sms or an email or a facebook post from me after say 22h00 last night, please be so good as to just delete it.

The last one I recall was the Woolworths comment about the onesie — after that, nothing.

Seriously though, who in their right mind as an adult would wear a onesie?  I think they are cute, for a 3 year old, but I wouldn’t put my 11 year old in it.  Good grief …. who buys this stuff?   And why do they both look so happy — how the hell are you meant to get to your stuff when you are zipped up from your crotch to your neck?  And seriously why, why, why!!!!

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So I am on twitter – and I have no fckn idea what I am doing most of the time – but that is sort of a reflection of how I function — I cannot promise that there will be many tweets, as I tend to stand around a lot and shuffle my feet …….. I also get a bit nervous when I receive notifications that people are following me … I interpret it as stalking me …. and my paranoia tends to pick up a bit.

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A case of jealousy ….. she is a slanty green eyed little bitch ….

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I have really had a case of the “why the fkc is that not me” moment/day/week/period {leave time frame that is most appropriate}

I look around and there are blogs that have an epic following.

Bloggers are going on to write car manuals, design new ways to hide from their kids, and methods to watch Game of Thrones uninterrupted, and suggestions on what to wear and eat.

Bloggers who are funny, pretty, clever, and well just so everything to the level that it makes me feel a bit shit actually.

I start to look at my lot in life and go, but why am I not famous, and adored and why do I not have trolls.

Why the hell do I not look fabulous all over instagram?

Why in gds name can I not work out how Twitter works?

Why do I hate myself when ever I see myself in the mirror?

And why did we buy a house with floor to ceiling mirrors in our bathroom?

Maybe it is the weather.  There is meant to be a connection between rainy, dark skies and the likelihood of someone making a shiv and ending it all.

I am in general not a “happy for you” sort of person, so let’s keep the base level in mind.

I don’t have enough happy for you in me.  At most times my reservoir of happy is pretty much empty or at the very least dripping out in a very unhappy stream.  Not unlike the outside tap that is never repaired, and eventually drips that slimy green/black mark against the back wall.

I tend to think in terms of “why did it not happen to me” or “what have I done wrong…” and seldom get truly happy or excited for me, or for you.

At your happiness I grumble a bit under my breath, and try my best to smile at you.  I don’t hate you for being successful, or doing well.  I hate me for not.  Subtle difference.  See it is all about me.  In my head.

I am not quite in the dead zone of depression, but my spirits are definitely flagging somewhat.  This “just keep on” bullshit is …. well a bit of bullshit.

I looked at Raising Men’s blog recently and I thought, shit, she has done well.  All the kudos to her.  I feel pretty damn jealous she appears to have such a cool life – and photographs really flipping well.  Here is a girl who could have child throw up on her shoulder, be drinking a warm Budweiser, and wearing a sack, and she would be gorgeous.  And clever.  And for fuck sake she likes bunnies.  What is not to like?   I am jealous that she is under 30, looks like a super model, and appears to weigh less than my winter knickers.  I stalk her — often. When no one is looking.

I looked at The Bloggess and thought, fkn hell she is unbelievably funny – how do you get that funny, and stay that funny?  And more importantly how the hell do you write such a funny book?  She is unbelievable, and she just has to BE.  I want to be her.  I want to be famous and fabulous and have a chicken named Beyoncé.  I want her stuff.

I looked at The Blessed Barrenness and I thought, holy shit balls she is busy making banana loaf, a great stew, she has a new baby and is so damn happy.  And she is probably one of the nicest people around.  Excuse me whilst I pour myself some more wine and wonder if when I grow up I could be as nice as her.  I covet her life.  I covet her kitchen.  I covet her food.

I looked at Margot over at Jou Ma se Blog who clearly stole the best name for a blog.  In the world.  Assuming that FuckMotherhood.c0m has come available again.  Margot is everything that is right with blogging – she is clever, and witty, and writes with such passion and never seems to sell her soul or go ape shit and have to apologise later.   She writes for publications what put ink onto paper.  Bless her.  I have been sneaking around her blog for years.  Actually I don’t hate Margot for anything, I just want to be as good as she is and I am jealous that I do not have her talent.    I loved the fact that she refers to her kids on occasion as “little fuckers” – makes me love her more.  Makes me envy her more. Some days I want to “cut and paste” her blog posts to my blog and just change the name.  Margot when I am mature, can I be like you?

I read a recent post over at Living Lionheart and I am in awe of her writing.  Her ability to turn a phrase and grab just the essence of a thought, so effortlessly.  I am jealous she is so damn good.   I want her to be my best friend.   I want her to tell me I am fabulous, as I smile, and bat my eyelashes demurely and say “Oh, I’m not, really I am not…..” as I push my cleavage further out to make the dimensions of my breasts look far more than my waist.  I don’t think that is going to work out, so in the interim I will covet the shit out of her and be envious as shit.

My latest obsession is a Slice of Humble.  No idea exactly what the blog is about – okay she is 28 years old and has five kids.  I am guessing that is sort of the theme.   I am more hooked on her Facebook status  updates than I am on her blog.  She is ridiculously funny – I want to be that funny, damn it — I would be laughing at myself every time I sat by myself.  People would fawn over me, promise me trinkets and shower me with nuggets of chocolate.  I am fairly sure I do not want 5 kids at 28.  But can she keep her kids.   I just want her funny.  I don’t think I have ever been that funny.  Ever.

Then I have this friend Natalie B.  Natalie had a baby in December 2012.  She rode her bike about 150 kilometers (out of choice) in February.  She does a race or triathlon every weekend, or thereabouts,  Ran the 2013 London  Marathon, and 2013 Comrades … and appears to be able to juggle her baby and work, and her life faultlessly.  She is such a nice person, so easy-going, and does not seem to have any hang ups.  Kennith asked me last week, isn’t Baby N like 6 months old?  I am like: ” uh-huh… something like that.”

Kennith goes “Natalie just finished Comrades …. her baby is 6 months old ” …

I think he implied that my youngest is nearly four and I am lying on the bed stuffing a Cadbury chocolate into my pie-hole and moaning about the “baby weight” that I am still struggling to shift.  I adore Natalie.  I hate Natalie.  I want Natalie’s DNA, long legs, and happy going easy style – can I swap her those for my daily overriding craving for a McMuffin with sausage and egg?

Okay, the list of things/people I lust for and covet is hardly complete, and it could go on for a very long time.

Please do not send me a note asking why I did not mention you.  I am  just stewing in my warm pool of jealousy and self loathing — it is a lonely place but warm and sort of comforting when you waddle in it, and just lie back and let the stickiness just envelop you.

Wondering why you aren’t on the list – odds are I am already on to you.  I have spent many hours trolling your blog/instagram/faceb0ok page.  I just don’t have the energy to extend this list right now.

If you have any suggestions for who else I should be jealous of, please free to flip your suggestion into the hat.

I am too busy self-flagellation, to add more right now.

Tomorrow will be better.  Or it won’t.

Today I sit here looking not dissimilar to Golum, mumbling “my precious under my breath….” as I wonder how I will steal the ring back from you.

{I am having a moment so forgive me slightly for my rambling and inability to string a decent sentence together – see need to be a bit more like Stacey and Margot.}

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Interesting blog award from The Blurred Line

I am never above a high five or a little pat on the back, or a large glass of wine arriving at my table as a surprise!

If you are giving it, and it is something we can mention in front of the children, then odds are I will be quite happy to take it off your hands.

I got an awesome badge from another blogger.

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Bloggers are fabulous people. They can’t help themselves, they just are.

It is always nice to get some recognition and it increases the chances of me getting money from people when I need it at a later stage, as I can just go: “Hey, you thought I was awesome back then.  I am awesome now, how about giving me some money!”

I received this from over at The Blurred Line (which is probably the most awesome blog name ever)

There is a bit of fine print which needs to be read – the normal stuff.

  1. Thank the person who nominated you
  2. List 5 random facts about yourself
  1. Nominate a minimum of 5 blogs for the award
  2. Ask the nominees 5 questions of your choice
  3. And finally, let them know you have nominated them
  4. Promise to never listen to Justin Bieber again (okay I snuck that in, but really when we are fighting a world crisis of “beliebers” then it seems the least you can do.

So here is my run at it:

One | Thanks

Thanks for giving me a prop.  Thanks for giving me a mention.  Thanks for reading my blog.

Two | Five random and anal things about myself

  1.  I have been known to sleep text, sleep email and sleep-have-sex-with-my-husband, which all sound great in principle, but less so when you wake up and go “what the hell happened here?”
  2. I used to perv over the boychild from Karate Kid – Ralph Muchness or what ever he is called.  I seriously thought he was all that in his little outfit, his flicked fringe and his squeaky little girl voice.
  3. It has been several weeks since my last purchase of Chuckles.  I think there is something wrong with me.  I may need to seek medical help.
  4. I still cannot bear emoticons.
  5. I love the Gruffalo, and have read the story at least a hundred times.

Three | Nominate 3 Other Blogs  (I really like three, five seems like too much – I realise I am fucking up the rules here, but there we go)

1.  A Brit living in SA with my South African Hubby and two small boys. – http://weezafish.blogspot.com/

2.  Cupcakes and Sailors –  http://cupcakemummy.wordpress.com/

3.  The Spirited Mama – if I recall I met her via the Moomie Forum, but I may be mistaken – http://spiritedmama1.wordpress.com/about/

Four | Answer some questions that the person-who-sent-the-badge asked:

Four point One | Elvis or The Beatles

I would really have to say the Beatles without even missing a beat.   I am fairly sure that Elvis dying on the toilet with his pants around his ankles has spoilt his music for me.  I get a mental picture of him wearing his onesie and dead on the toilet.  It is not an accurate picture, but sadly does not make me love his music.

Four point Two | What is the one place you have to see or thing you have to do before you kick the bucket and shrug off the mortal coil?

I would like to go on a boat cruise.  Me lying around chilling, reading my book, with no responsibilities and 15 – 19 days of bliss seems like a small slice of heaven right now.

Four point Three |  What did you laugh out loud at today? 

Nothing yet I am afraid.  It has not been a laugh-a-licious day, but I did smile when two appointments cancelled on me.  It is Friday afternoon, my interest in this day left four hours ago, so any excuse to get the hell out of here sounds like a fine ambition right now.

Four point Four | What is a better word for blogger that doesn’t sound like throwing up? 

Digital Author – I did not even think about that shit, it just popped in my head.  That being said the term “blogger” is not a problem for me, though I know a lot of people practically shit in their bloomers if you refer to them as “mommy bloggers.”

Four point Five | If you were a superhero, what power would you have? 

Reading minds must be a blessing and a total burden, but I do think that you could use it to do some fabulous party tricks, and more importantly always know where your husband put the care keys without having to go and look in the five places it isn’t, which would be nifty.

Okay, so that is done then.

In an attempt to play this forward, I am sorry, but I felt quite strongly about amending the button design.  If you prefer to use the original it is shown above, but you are free to use the new Nimbus 2000 model, which is available here:

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I would like to change this slightly going forward, not because there is anything wrong with the old way, but just because technically I own it and I am changing it slightly before I pass it on:

New rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you
  2. List 5 random facts about yourself
  1. Nominate a MAXIMUM of 3 blogs for the award – I know sometimes trying to find 5 is a challenge and it also dilutes the “play it forward idea”
  2. Ask the nominees 5 questions of your choice
  3. And finally, let them know you have nominated them
  4. But I really think we should keep this one – promise to never listen to Justin Bieber again

Here are my 5 questions/things I would like to know from my three bloggers:

One | What would you buy with five rand?
Two | When was the last time you told a lie? And what was it?

Three | When was the last time you went for a mammogram?  Was it as bad as you thought it was going to be?

Four | What was the worst baby/child name you have ever heard?

Five | What is the phrase you swore you would never use, and now you are sounding just like your mother and screaming it down the passage?

Thanks folks-who-blog for continuing to keep us people-who-read-blogs sane, and to give us something to read with our morning cups of tea, whilst we ignore all the urgent things popping up on our computer screens.

An ode to Same Sameness ….

Melinda over at Diaries of a White Mother Raising a Black Baby posted this awesome balls post about Same Sameness.

It is a wonderfully written post about her daughter Emma asking about “same sameness” and how as a family they might be different, but not so different.

We often use “eye colour” in our house to indicate to our children that being different is not a good thing or a bad thing.  It is just a thing.

Connor, Isabelle and I have blue eyes.

Kennith and Georgia have hazel eyes.

When ever the kids come up with a reason why they are different/better/worse than another family member, or even someone at school we usually draw them back to eye colour.

Eye colour is such an INSIGNIFICANT measure of someone’s worth.

Having blue eyes does not make you smarter, clever, or run faster than someone with brown eyes.

Brown eyes do not mean you can read quicker, or can make better Nutella toast than someone with blue or green eyes.

Having eyes what ever colour they are — are just that, a colour.

The colour is not loaded with stereotypes of who is better or worse, or who makes a person more nice or more clever than someone else.  It is just the colour of your eyes.  A colour.  Just there.  No value.  No hidden skills or attributes.

If some one got a good mark at school or was picked for the cricket team and you asked your child what colour eyes they had — odds are your child would say “I have no idea” and really, isn’t that just the point when we look at people.

We see what they do.  It is separate from the colour of their hair, their eyes and their skin.

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Should you become a blogger?

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I get asked this question reasonably often — and I am still not quite sure of the right answer.

Blogging works for me as a sort of therapy – well to be honest, I use it at the moment instead of therapy.

People often gain sustenance from praying or talking to their ‘higher power.’

Unfortunately I don’t have that, but I do get something from blogging.  I am not suggesting that blogging is akin to religion, but it gives me a place to “be calm” and “to think” and sometimes to think through my thoughts.

I don’t blog because I need you to read my blog, unfortunately I am too selfish for that. I blog for me, because it makes me feel good and gives me an outlet for the stuff that runs around inside my head.

Cobbling words together and trying to get my thoughts into a loose line helps me.  Writing my thoughts down also helps me process some of my thinking.  My head is a really noisy place to live — and I have found that getting what is running inside my head out, helps me a great deal.

Why not keep a paper and ink diary I hear you tut-tut under your breath.

Unfortunately I get so caught up in the feel of the right paper grammage, and the right pen, and whether my pen strokes are all the same, that I don’t get to writing anything down.

I have a desk drawer full of very nice looking diaries which I have never started or broken the plastic on – I do however use the ink pens with reckless abandon.

Blogging regularly is harder than it looks.  I often struggle to find the right way to say something.  I have about 115 ‘draft posts” which I just can’t put in to the right words so they float there unposted unpublished.

The internet is strewn with blogs that started with a bit of a gust of wind, then died out like a frog being squashed by a clown car.

10 things I like about blogging:-

1.  I get an outlet to write what I like, and not have to run it past a copywriter or an editor.

2.  I sometimes need someone to go “rah rah rah I like what you think” and I sometimes get that here.  {I also get my fair share of people telling me what a total idiot I am, so that balances my ego out quite nicely}

3.  I like having one place to put all my stuff.

4.  I just can’t work with twitter and its 144 characters ….. I struggle to facebook status update as well, and do it rarely.

5.  I meet (though usually they remain in the cyber space) some interesting people who often challenge my thinking, and often teach me to view or look at something differently.

6. I like that I am part of a community – mommy bloggers, or bloggers. I like the fact that I am part of something that I can’t quite define —

7.  I like that I get to hear about other bloggers and their lives – and I feel part of what makes them happy and what makes them sad.  There are a lot of people with interesting stories to tell.

8.  I like that I do not need to say something, because if I do or don’t I will offend someone who pays me or who has a vested interest in what I say.  I think and say what I am comfortable with.

9.  I like to look back over my blogs and see how much I have changed, or grown as a person.

10.  I like love reading comments.  There is nothing better to do with my morning cup of tea than to read comments and know that even though I still think it is only me, a guy named Schalk who lives in Parow with his dog, who reads my blog, there are actually a few other people out there who stop by.

And, no I don’t make money from blogging.

“Hey, can you hold my Olympus Camera for a while,” :said mycamera.

 

I do love it when people give me things.  I do love it when someone says “pop over to our shop and collect an Olympus Camera….”

Xmas she comes a bit early this year.

I get to be one of the six bloggers chosen for the #mycamerablogger competition.

In short I popped along to mycamera at Shop 14, Roeland Square, Corner Roeland and Drury Street, Gardens – and they hand me an Olympus Camera, granted with a thick contract which included sacrificing my first-born on a mountain with a goat or something.  Something.

They made it VERY CLEAR — abundantly clear — that it was only a loan.  And that I had to bring it back.

The camera is funky white Olympus and I am so siked to (1) Figure out how it works (2) Start taking cool snaps of everything!

This weekend, is a big mate-get-together-weekend for us.

We have a wedding of two dear friends, a baby shower, and basically a divine weekend of relaxing with mates in Stanford, just past Hermanus.

I collected the {loan} Olympus camera I get ten working days (and the weekend) to take my pictures.

The brief is to encapsulate the words “Joy” “Curiosity” and “Alone” –  we submit one, unedited image for each word … and then we take back our very pretty Olympus camera back to the lads (and ladies) at mycamera.

Then some judges get together and pick a winner, and a second princess.

At the end of this, one of us gets to walk away with the Olympus camera – coolio. For keeps! {the remainder of us, give ours back and wonder how it all went so wrong}

How cool is that?  Yep, pretty cool pants.  I really need to get my creative cap on, and try to at least keep up with the other cool kids on the block.

 

Suffering from information overload …..

I have been a bit blog-reluctant as of late, which is unusual for me.  I can normally whip up a blog post easy peasy and then I feel good once I have pushed the ‘PUBLISH” button.  I blog as a form of relaxation and sometimes an emotional purge.

Lately I have just not felt like talking.

I have been looking at facebook/twitter and blogs and I am a overwhelmed by the amount of sharing.  The sheer volume of it.

I am feeling pressurised into posting on twitter.  You know to be with the in kids.

I appear to be way behind in instagrams photos, my  facebook status updates are just not remaining current, and my pinterest boards are in total disarray.

I am so busy trying to read everyone else’s shite I just do not have time to post mine.  Really does it matter that I went to the Spur for lunch – granted I did not put it on my facebooks status update, and god forbid I did not take a photo and add it to instagram ….. did it still happen – does it count?

I feel exhausted by the amount of information I am subjected to each day – it did not bother me before.  If someone listens to a song on YouTube I get to see the link – if someone has muesli for breakfast, I know about it.

I think I am suffering from information overload, or over share.  I like to know about what you are eating, wearing, who you love, how much you miss your dead relative, but I feel I am being bombarded. Reading Facebook is like opening a door a crack, and suddenly finding you have a starring role in Jumanji, and can’t get back.

I really enjoy logging on to facebook and seeing what people are up to.  But lately it is causing a twitch in my left eye.

I am not a big de-friender.  I am actually quite tolerant of people and their often idiotic exploits, contrary to popular belief.

I forgive people their stupid “LIKE this if you love your daughter/father/son/dentist/gynaecologist.” I try and get excited about yet another photo of dear Johnnie.  If someone posts a link, I politely go over and take a look see, just in case it is actually interesting.  I am a polite Facebooker.

Sadly I am usually disappointed. I have realised the only safe/interesting links to look at are posted by Julie Mostert.  Bless her, she links seldom, and when she does, they are good.  The rest, not so much.

There should be a link police. You link too much, or to too much crap, and they come over and shit on your lawn.  Something simple like that, to try to encourage people to be responsible relinkers/posters.

I had a facebook friend Erica* who was constantly updating her status on how far she ran, how little kilojoules she took in, and how fantastic it was to be alive. I took that for about a year, then this week I though agh fuck it. Do I really need to know how many repetitions you do at gym, and what your resting heart rate is? Actually no.  I defriended her arse.  Mainly because her exercise routine was making me feel bad as I gorged on my Cadbury’s Bubble Slab (the big one with the totally irrelevant resealable back….. seriously what is the point of that?)

I relooked at my facebook friends and thought to myself, as much as I might vaguely Lana*, do I really want to see every fucking movement her child makes? Actually no, so I defriended her – if I put all the photos she had posted together of her son, it would run as a movie.  I feel that I watched him develop each frickn day, because each day there is a minimum of 10 photos of her little guy.

Great for family living in Thailand, not so great for me.  I actually could not bear to look at another photograph of her tike.

I did hesitate over those defriend buttons for quite sometime — I felt a bit mean, but for fuck sake, surely enough is enough?  I only defriended two people, but I felt bad about it.

I have a twitter account, I think I have tweeted twice.

I pop in to twitter about once a fortnight, primarily to see if Ricky Gervais and Jimmy Carr have said anything interesting.

Twitter, much like Facebook and this onslaught of media, is like standing at a busy intersection with a 8 lane highway of speeding cars.  Everyone is hooting, screaming things out the window and driving 195 kilometers an hour.  I am sitting there in my 1982 Fiat indicating to get in to a lane, and I can’t get or take a gap.

I have realised that no one has noticed my indicator is on.  No one is giving me a gap to get in to the fast moving and very LOUD lanes.  I have been waiting so long and now I have started to wonder “do I really want to get on this super highway of information?”

Does it matter whether I post small snatches of my bowel movements in 144 characters?

At the moment I am in the “who gives a shit” lane – its slow and has an easy listening radio channel.

I have  had sponsors/PR companies and others asking me to punt their products on my blog.  Right now I really just don’t feel like it. I might say, if I felt special and it was me and a really nice sponsor, then maybe.

I realise the same sponsor/PR company has spammed 10 {mommy} bloggers and after I see the same product being punted on other blogs, I am like “you know I am feeling a bit like a media whore, and actually I really don’t want to punt your product…” They don’t call to discuss they email you a pile of information, and that is the extent to their communicating with you.

I am sure this sense of dissolution will pass, and I will get all excited about hearing how fantastic your weekend was, or how precious your child is, or how fantastic it is to be alive …. but maybe not right now.

I need a quiet corner without any internet noise.

*names have been changed

WordPress theme dropping me like ….. an unpaid hooker

WordPress has been pretty good to me.  I have been blogging here for about three and a half years, and have never experienced a problem I cannot repair.

I find the themes good and they remain stable which is pretty critical considering how much information I have loaded over here on Senor WordPress.

Unfortunately the theme I am using “Piano Black” is starting to fk around a bit – it has already dropped some widgets from the right hand margin, and is not allowing me to update certain information and right now I am starting to make little squirt marks of frustration in my underwear.

I usually plan an introduction of a new wordpress theme as it often takes several days to get things working and looking right.  I am concerned that if this theme “lost” information already, it is not making me feel tons secure that it is not going to start dropping other stuff.

So I am going to bring in a new theme, and the first few days it will all look a bit shocking and shite as I need to go through and manually tweak images and position of things, and well pretty much everything.

Apologise if you have arrived during housekeeping.

Promise it will be sorted in the next few days!!

Ideas for putting together a great SA Mommy Blogger 2013? Do you have any?

The incredibly talented Laura over at Harrassed Mom put together a Mommy Blog competition for this year.   I have no idea how Laura finds time, but she did, and bless her cotton socks she did.

I think Mommy Bloggers in South Africa are really lacking a great Mommy Blogger competition – a platform to bedazzle new readers and a way to be more of a community with other Mommy Bloggers.

You may feel that Mommy Blogger competitions are unnecessary – you may recoil at the term Mommy Bloggers – if you are happy with blogging as a blogger, then great.

Competitions do make good people better, and introduce the public to Mommy Bloggers they may have never heard of.  It creates an interest around what we do and what we say, and it would be great to have an evening celebrating what makes Mommy Bloggers great – and there are so many stupendously brilliant Mommy bloggers, who make us cry, laugh and sigh on a daily basis.

Personally I am not a great competition fan – probably because I am too afraid of losing.  I am not a gracious loser.  I am an embarrassed-oh-god-they-hate-me-what-did-I-do-wrong sort of loser.

That being said I really do like the idea of being part of a SA Mommy Blogger Competition.  Happy to organise, happy to pool idea, happy to harass potential sponsors.

It might be good to do something for a Children’s Charity and raise awareness/money at the same time.

Let’s promote South African Mommy Bloggers – primarily because Mommy Bloggers are an overlooked category in the SA Blogger Awards, and another platform does not appear like it is going to occur in the foreseeable future.

If we cannot find a place there, well then it is time to create our own.

Kidzworld is the only place that offers a competition, and though I am appreciative of them having a competition, there are really not great prizes or for that matter a Mommy Blogger Awards evening to speak of – so it needs a bigger buzz.

It also needs an evening of dressing up and drinking wine!

Laura and I are still brain storming ideas, but if you have any suggestions/idea about how to do it – what works, what you think sucks, what you think should be included please let me know.

Laura is in Johannesburg and I am in Cape Town, so I am hoping to fly up there for a weekend and we can hash out some of these ideas, or she can come down to Cape Town.  We know what we want, we just do not know how to get there, so if you have any idea or suggestions, please please let me know.

We have a domain and will be setting that up shortly and publishing the details so we can get some interest and build up, but we really would like to hear from other Mommy Bloggers {established ones and new ones}.

When do you think is a good time to run the competition – so that it does not clash with other things?

What is the ideal format?  I am a bit sceptical about the vote-for-me-please-gd-vote-for-me format.  I think some voting combined with a judge’s panel might be good – but what do you think?

Do you know any sponsors who would like to get involved, hell maybe you are a sponsor and would like to get on board.

If you are a Mommy Blogger – how do you think these awards should be run – what seems fair to you?

Any suggestions for Mommy Blogger categories?

Right now, nothing is set in stone.  I think Laura and I would really like to pool our resources and get this thing running.  I can barely organise toilet spray for my house, so if you feel you want to throw and idea/suggestion/anything other than a cow pat at us, please do – I would love to be a part of something that feels inclusive and gives Mommy Bloggers a stage and some recognition.

There are so many fantastic Mommy Bloggers out there – please please, send through ideas or suggestions – if you do not want to post it as a comment, please email me on celeste@happyhelpers.co.za.

We are still months away, but I think it might be good to get all the backstage things set up and have as many ideas from the Blogger Community as possible and design something that works and that Mommy Bloggers are proud to be a part of.

What thinks you?

Why boys should not be allowed on Mommy Forums …..

I read an extract from a Mommalicious’ Mom’s Blog post this week.

To cut a very long story short, a journalist, Kevin Lancaster, had some less than generous things to say about Moms and their use of forums to assist them with baby health support.

{I personally quite like Kevin’s writing, but right now that might go down like a lead balloon on the Mommy community, so I best keep that comment to myself. Here is a recently written articles and I do tend to agree with his outlook on things parenthood related …. to a degree.}

I do not know Kevin Lancaster {Sunday Tribune Article} personally, so I am not going to comment on him, and what his short comings or strengths are in terms of parenting skills.

I am a registered user of Mommalicious’ Forum, but to be honest it never resonated with me.  I found it (at the time) less user-friendly than the Moomie Forum, so I forgot my user name and password and did not use the forum.

I have not been there in a very long time, and glancing at it now it is clear it has undergone several revamps and looks like a very funky place to be.  It enjoys a large, active and clearly enthusiastic community of moms who blog there, participate in the forums, and guest writers.

Again, I am not commenting on how good {or bad} Mommalicious is.

If you have never had a young baby, I do not think I can explain to you what a lonely time of your life it is.

It is probably the loneliest and bleakest time in your life.  Of course you cannot actually tell people that it is a bit crap.  You will need to tell everyone how wonderful motherhood/parenting is, unless you want to risk being voted off the island.

You think you are prepared for a baby – you have 9 months and change to get used to the idea.

You have people cheering you on – people throwing you baby showers, people wishing you well on Facebook, and books that show your baby’s size in relation to fruit.

You have friends offering to help where ever they can.  You have your husband/boyfriend/sperm donor talking about how “we” are pregnant.

It is possible to get drunk on the headiness of it all.

Having a baby (furnished from your loins or via alternate methods) is one of the loneliest (and most terrifying) experiences you will ever be lucky enough to enjoy.

You are suddenly responsible for this little being.  No matter how many books you have read {and I read a ton}, and how many children you have had {I have three} it is still an alarming/scary/frightening and intensely lonely experience.  You are constantly wondering what the hell to do and whether Medi Clinic has a returns policy.

Everyone appears so helpful and offering {usually useless} advise, but no one really seems to understand you or be listening to you.

Enter, from Stage Right, Forums.

You get to meet dozens/hundreds of moms who are going through almost exactly what you are.  They are scared, they may know more, some may know less, some are just total nutters.  But you get to speak to these women and they commiserate with you, and when needed cheer you on and they are there to lean on, and ask for advise.

You can talk about poo, about sex, about outings to the zoo, anything goes.  Somewhere in this new scary landscape you will find a few souls who you just click with.  Your days spent child rearing and nights crying in the bathroom will suddenly appear less scary.

You have found forum friends who you can talk to.

But ….. forums are not reality.  The information you are being given is advise that though given with the best intention is not gospel, or should be taken as medical advise.  I think that any user of a forum knows this — or I hope they do.  We all ask stupid questions, and we all need a wise mom to tell us what to do.  We also get imbeciles imparting old wives’ tales and questionable suggestions.

Forums have replaced villages to raise children.

If a mom ran to a doctor for every niggle that worried her, she would be there 8 times a day at a minimum.  Often a mom is over-reacting, and needs a sound board of sanity.  She can either pick up her phone and contact 6 of her friends or she can take the issue to a forum.  Same result.

I do think that Mr. Lancaster was being a bit flippant with his comment, but I also understood the point he was making.

Forums are where you raise an issue, test the waters with the responses, and once everyone has had their 10 cents worth you make a final decision as to what is best for you, your baby and your family.  Is there anywhere else in polite society where you can talk about the colour of your child’s faeces with such reckless abandon?

No.  Bless Forums and all those moms who give of their time, sanity and broadband to assist other moms.

I felt it was unfair for Mr Lancaster to “attack” Mommalicious, but again my guess is the colour or quantity of a child’s shit is not high on his list of things to worry about in his day.  And all the luckier he is for it.

If any of the moms on Mommalicious or Pampers or Moomie or all the other forums out there, tried to explain to the men in their lives why they feel so passionate about the forums, most men would not understand.  They would not get the allure and how you cannot understand the support and real friendship that develops in these forums.

And you know, they don’t have to.

Men sit and watch sport games together and then listen to two hours running discussion about the game, after the game.  This to them seems like a legitimate way to spend a Saturday afternoon.  Woman?  Not so much.

Mommalicious, take it on the chin and move on.  And thank goodness, again for Mommy Forums!

Must learn to say no ….

I got a request from the very nice people at the Department: Library & Information Service to be a Guest Speaker at their Service Awards Ceremony.  This week.  To talk for 20 minutes.  In front of 200 people!

Alarmed much?

Initially I tried to ignore the request, but Ridhwaana has proved a persistent stalker.

I was not sure how to say no.  She did ask nicely.  Initially I was flattered, and whilst the size of my head swelled, I was unable to get my mouth to say no!!  I then hoped that they would make contact with someone else, if I ignored her long enough.

Prayed they would find someone else.  Was about to rattle of a short list of other people I suggested they contact.

They didn’t. I left it too late, so now I will be stage/hiding behind a podium talking to 200 people.  I am mortified.  I am throwing up in a little brown bag strategically lined with plastic so it does not leak as I slip it into my large dirty orange handbag.

My brain is flooded with adrenaline.  To be honest it is flooded with that other stuff.  The stuff that makes you put your fingers in your ear and go la-la-la-la and procrastinate.

I cannot think what I could possibly say to Library people or any people for that matter, which will sound vaguely interesting for 20 minutes, and without embarrassing myself … more than I usually do.

How the hell do I get myself into this situation?!  More importantly who can I pay to get me out of this situation?

I am thinking about having a liquid breakfastv and then just seeing how it goes, speak off the cuff, no notes …..

Cripes, I haven’t told them I have a social phobia and one of more endearing qualities in a high pressured situation is to talk insanely and exhibit symptoms that disimiliar from Tourette’s.  That I am sure will go down like a lead balloon!

Have not prepared anything …. I might fake a stomach bug.

Bad Mommy Moments …. my comments

I am going to weigh in on this post that went up by Jess over at “From There to Hear”…

This is one of those posts where comments should have been closed a long time ago, but one often does not realise how big this snowball is going to be until it gains so much momentum that it crushes you, as you stand innocently sipping on your gin and tonic with a slice of lemon looking out at the scenery.

Clearly Anonymous really had a beef to settle, but let me leave their stuff over there in their land.

Jess listed some of her “deep and dark” mommy secrets, and I think it would not be so “catch your breath” unless it was so damn true.

There really was only one where I raised my eyebrow and went: “okay, that is not ideal …..yikes!” but overall I totally understood where she was coming from, and more importantly the tone, the essence of the blog post.

I think we all like to think we are perfect mothers, the reality is that we all cut corners for sanity/time constraints/the lure of lying down for just a minute, and some times well, just because we just do not feel like doing something.

I fake sleep often whilst my kids are screaming like they have lost a limb. I try to fake sleep more than Kennith as I figure if I lie there long enough he will get up.

Unfortunately he is faking the same thing, so we lie there both faking, until something happens when heavy breathing and limp limbs no longer cut the mustard.

I am well-known for my idea of a balance meal being a McDonalds Happy Meal with an Orange cooldrink.  I don’t know what is in the orange cooldrink, but I figure it looks healthier than the green one.

When my children were small, I would leave them in the shower for an hour.  So they get tired, are clean, can’t drown and then hopefully can go straight to bed.  On occasion I would also hand a yoghurt to them with a spoon and call it dinner.  No Mommy of the Year prizes being handed out there I can tell you.

The only reason my children get bathed and fed each day, is because I find it suits my sticking to a schedule.  The sooner they eat, the sooner they bath, the more likely I am able to get them in to bed, and then I can take a breath and congratulate myself on surviving another day.

I bath and feed them out of self-interest more than because I think it is good for them.

I love my children, and even like them most days.  But there is so much about being a mother that is so damn tedious.

But in this “HEY FKRS LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!” time we live in, people are constantly crowing about what a fabulous time we are having as mothers.  Then you feel a bit shamed that clearly you are doing something wrong as you are not having as much fun as the other Facebook moms!  Shit must work on my Facebook Status updates.

I am hard-pressed to look excited when I am standing arguing with my kids over food they must eat.  Or trying to get Isabelle to unclench her mouth so I can get a teaspoon of noodles in.

Parenting often is about as much fun as douching yourself by accident with VIM.  Yes we love our kids, and we are so damn lucky and and and anchovies!

The idea of motherhood is often much nicer than the realities, the tedium, the pull-my-eyes-out boredom of the entire thing.  I mean seriously once you have done “where you, where you, where you?” for 15 minutes really, it is about time to well kill yourself.

The realities often require you digging out poo from under your nails, wondering at dinner with friends whether they can smell the milk vomit in your hair, and wishing wishing that maybe you could be involved in a minor car accident to get you just one night in hospital where you could sleep and pee alone!

Society dictates that Motherhood must appear fun.  Sublime.  That you are having the time of your freakn life.

We must make it seem so, else we risk appearing like bad or at the very least indifferent mothers.  It is very hard keeping your head up when you really want to hide in the bathroom so you can just get 15 minutes to yourself.

Jess listed a few things that she had, shall we say, let slide.  Please read her post, and I have added the main gist of each point and then my thoughts on each.  None are worth flogging her in the town centre about ….

Sterilising Items :  I stopped sterilising at under 6 weeks … before you go all dirty-nasty-environment on me, please be aware that Isabelle who might have had sterilised bottles until she was 5 weeks, is the least sick of my three children.  No paed, seldom sees our GP.

Nappy Changing :  I do think changing your child every 15 minutes is a waste of nappies, bum cream and patience.  If your child is uncomfortable in their nappy, they will tell you in no uncertain terms.  So what if you “forgot” “overlooked” a nappy change.  Big freaking hairy deal.

Purity instead of a 5 course meal : Oh heavens, who of us hasn’t pulled this one.  I still will throw a cut up apple and a container of yoghurt at my kids and call it dinner if I can get away with it.

Bathing : There was a time not too long ago when the idea of bathing once a week, even for a baby was not that ludicrous.  Based on how clean our general living environments are, I think a child could safely go unbathed for two weeks, and probably be a damn side cleaner than most babies live – quite healthily – in most 3rd world countries.

Nappy Changing : See above, I think though realistically I would be a bit shame faced to arrive at a nursery school with my child’s nappies weighing more than their school bag, but hey that is me – and maybe Jess had a bad night and a suicidal morning.

Hiding in the Bathroom : A girl after my own heart!  I still do this.

Administering medication : I do not think a TRUTHFUL mother exists who has not slipped their child some off the shelf medication when she feels one of them needs some sleep.  I think MANY mothers will crow about who they NEVER do this, but then there is reality.

Visiting people who lighten your load : This has got to be the best trick ever!!  I need to find friends like that.

I will confess there were a few of Jess’ points that I raised my eyebrow on and did not smile about as much as the others, but I took it in the tone of the post and the tone of your blog.

Stepping back and seeing it in the context it was presented.

Bloggers are not true-life documentary writers, and I think sometimes readers forget this.  Correction.  Usually readers do get this, but Trolls will always exist and lie there quietly until the day you say something mildly controversial and then they will have Child Line on speed dial.

Bloggers often write in a particular manner.

If you read my blog your perception might be that I am coked up on antidepressants all day and drinking wine from the bottle with a straw by 11h00 …. it is not far from the truth, but it is not the WHOLE truth.  Some where in this I do manage to be a fairly effective mother, and pull unicorns and rabbits out my arse on demand, and do a bit of work as well.

Bloggers write, we expose ourselves publically – and the downside to this, other than the very cool “hey you are so cool, high-five chick” is that there are people who disagree.

If you are going to write for the public, expect a public bitch slap from time to time – it happens.  If everyone loved what we wrote, I don’t think it would be as interesting.

I think Jess was brave to put up the post she did, but if you are going to fire off fireworks, you must expect the odd dog to bark and someone to complain to the SPCA.

But that is my take on it at any rate!

Public Service Announcement ….. and reminder to buy wine!

Reminder that nominations close over at Harrassed Mom for the Mommy Blogger Competition .

 

It’s a new competition, Laura has been brilliant enough to say “agh fk it” and start it.  There does seem to be some resistance and people moaning and complaining.  Some of the complaints are:

1.  It follows too closely to the Kidz World one that has just finished.

2.  Some blogger are offended/put out by the term “Mommy Bloggers” but the competition for “Bloggers who Drink Wine to Stay Sane” met with some resistance from sponsors, so with that Laura decided to go with Mommy Blogger of the Year.

3.  Competitions bring out the worst in people.

4.  Bun fights about bloggers can be quite epic, and often drags itself through to Facebook and Forums, and then the underlying bitchiness really gets going.

5.  The begging and pleading for votes from the reluctant public.

I agree with all the points.  They are all valid.

But, yes here is my but … Laura made an effort to put something together, she really found some fabulous sponsors, and she is doing it for purely altruistic reasons (I surmise).

With that in mind, just send her an email (laurakallmayer@gmail.com) telling her about your favourite blogger and why they are your favourite blogger.  Try not to do essay material, I think she is hoping for 144 characters or less.  Short attention span material!

Mommy Bloggers get a pretty raw deal, as people consider us a bit on the naff side.

I personally don’t read Mommy Bloggers who Blogs. I tend to look for Mommy Bloggers who Need Psychotic Medication Blogs and who refuse on principle to Bake Birthday Cakes!!  Them bloggers I do love.

Nominations end today.  That is all.

New Mommy Blogger Competition with delish prizes ….

Reminder of the South African Mommy Blogger competition running over at Harassed Mom.

Cool prizes and interesting format for this one.

Instead of the million votes  and rehitting the “vote” button until your forefingers starts to lose feeling from the second joint down –  this one requires the readers to send a note (email laurakallmayer@gmail.com) and tell Laura why your  favourite blog is their favourite, and why it makes you all sorts of happy … you get to wax on lyrically and gush a bit …. and that part closes on the 10 August, which is this Wednesday Friday (thanks Tania B).

Based on that HM (Harassed Mom or Her Majesty) will pull together a short list on the 13 August, and then the frenzy of votes can run until the 17 August.

This competition is a bit like speed dating, 30 seconds and barely time for a snog in the cupboard and then it is all done.

Well done to Harassed Mom for putting this together and a little bow and curtsey to the sponsors!

Harrassed Mom launches {Mommy Blogger Awards}

Laura over at Harrassed Mom has got tired of this sitting around crap  and waiting for someone to kick start a 2012 Mommy Blog Awards, she stood up and created her own.  Er, can you say ROCK STAR!?  Like a freakn SUPER STAR ….

Cripes, when I grow up I want to be like Harrassed Mom.  But between now and then I will just fall down in her shadow and wonder how the hell she does it, because right now I could not organised a box of doughnuts without getting myself worked up into a lather.

How it will work (RM > cut and pasted from Harrassed Mom):-

  • You, as the reader, nominate a Mom Blogger by sending me an email on why you feel she deserves to win.  I don’t really want an essay – just a few lines on why you enjoy her blog, what makes her special to you etc.
  • We will then narrow it down to 5 finalists – our decision will not be based on who got the most nominations but rather what was said about them (RM > do you NOT ADORE THAT IDEA??)
  • Once we have 5 finalists we will then put it to a vote and a winner will be chosen.
  • We will take nominations until the 10 August.
  • The finalists will be announced on the 13 August when voting opens and it will stay open until Friday the 17th August.
  • There will be a winner plus 2 “runners up”

The Prizes

There are some amazing ladies on board who have donated prizes.

The winner will receive,

The 2 runners up will each receive

Pretty awesome don’t you think? (RM >Yike a doodle, I do so think!)

The rules are simple.

  • The nominated blogger must be a mom.
  • She must blog at least twice a week.
  • She must be South African.
  • The blog must be a personal blog.

You can send all your nominations to laurakallmayer@gmail.com

I do enjoy a little blog loving … from other bloggers

I love it when I hear from new readers to my blog, and I like it even more when they seem to relate to the stuff I churn out this side.

I realise I am not the soft lighting Living and Loving Mom with the happy gurgling baby (only because they have turned down my numerous requests for a photo shoot and styling ideas ……) nor am I the happier than happy cookie cutter mom you can google.

I get why someone likes a happy person, but I realise I am just not happy folk  – faking happy leaves me exhausted and usually clutching a large bottle of Chenin in the corner with a bendy straw.

But nonetheless even angry resentful people like to be shown a bit of love on occasion.

I got a “Hello” from mom305.wordpress.com – who is a new blogger and she gave me a little blogger love/pimping in the form of a “Thanks for Writing” Blog Award.

Part of this kind of thing is to create relationships between bloggers.  To find out new invasive information and to also introduce readers to new bloggers out there.  So it is all good.

It is blogging’s equivalent of a chain mail letter, just without the threat of anal leakage if you do not pass it on.  I am more than happy to pass this one along and spread the love.

So my end of the deal is to share some stuff with you:-

Include the award logo in your post or on your blog – here I am going to amend slightly.  I love blog awards, but if the graphic is lacking,then I sort of give it a little spruce up.

So I am including the existing image as supplied to me:

And then I improved (or destroyed depending on your frame of reference) and created an amended/new one – so if you are here to grab the image, please feel free to us the original or the one I created and am using:

Say 7 random things about yourself that the readers don’t know yet

This might be a bit difficult as I tend to tell you everything including my toilet routine, but here goes:

1.  I have Micophonia which is a strong reaction to sound – specific sounds.  Doors slamming, someone chewing, rattling of windows and so on – the sound takes over everything and gets so loud in my head that my teeth literally get put on edge.  It is more common than you think, with no known cure.  The only possible assistance is CBT and to keep up your anxiety medication.

2.  I am so excited that Linkin Park is coming to Cape Town.  I normally am less than arsed to go to a show, I am normally more than happy to get the live DVD, but I will make Linkin Park the exception.  So going to that concert.

3.  I have been on sleep medication since September last year.  It has literally changed my life.  I take medication to make me go to sleep, and medication to keep me asleep.  It has wonders to manage my anxiety, stress and depression.  Cannot recommend it enough.

4.  I used to bite my nails right down to the quick – that little half-moon in your nail.  I have always bitten my nails.  In 1999 I went along to Dream Nails and put an acrylic set and kept it maintained for a year.  It broke the habit.  But, I have to keep my nails long, as when I cut them short I tend to start putting them in my mouth and nibbling on them.  So, I have long nails but the only reason is to stop me biting them – strange but true.

5.  I give blood – and I hate needles, like throw up hate.  I go along, and then look the other way from when they do the pin prick on your finger to when they put the needle in to take blood.  I really feel violently ill and scared when I see the needles, so I just don’t look.  The blood transfusion bank also put a cover over my arm so I do not have to see anything.

6.  I really love my little Boston Terrier – but the fact that he is not getting toilet training is doing my head in.

7.  I have discovered Red Velvet cake this year and I am so very glad we got introduced — and then eat the entire thing like a crazed lunatic cake eater!

Nominate 5 – 10 other Blogs you admire …..

This one is going to be particularly difficult because I have been on a social media and blog black out for a few months.

It was nothing personal it was purely because I had started to blur the line between what was important and what was other people’s stuff.

I needed to get some space and focus my head in my stuff.   I had a total rock bottom crash last year, and one of the factors was definitely my inability to rationalise between what was really related to me and all the other noise that exists on the internet, and how I processed it.

But that being said, I am happy to PIMP blogs that popped in to my head — but I do wish to apologise that I do not follow them as much as I used to, and I avoid commenting even though I lurk around you and you just don’t know it.

The kicking single motherhood up the arse Charlotte over at http://thestilettomum.wordpress.com/

The wry and brilliant Countess Kaz over at http://countesskaz.wordpress.com/

The spectacular and often-makes-me-sniff-back-snot Sharon over at http://www.theblessedbarrenness.co.za/

The legendary and awesome Laura at http://www.harassedmom.co.za/

The how-the-hell-does-she-keep-it-all-together Cat over at juggelingactoflife.blogspot.com/

The super model beautiful and talented Natasha over at http://www.littleandbunny.blogspot.com/

I could go on for quite a while.  If I did not mention you I am sure that one of the above bloggers will when they do their own PIMP list.

Thanks for the props Mom305.

If other bloggers wish to pick this up and pass it along, here is a quick should-do list:

1. Include the award logo in your post or on your blog

2. Say 7 random things about yourself that the readers don’t know yet

3.  Nominate 5 – 10 other blogs you usually follow

4. Let the nominees know that they are nominated & include their blog-links

5. Link the person who nominated you

 

Winner winner chicken dinner ….

Received a cool email today:

I would like to inform and congratulate you on winning the 2012 Mommy Bloggers Competition for your blog- The Reluctant Mom!

The runner up is Natasha with her blog Raising Men and third position is Tanya from Rattle and Mum.

I am in Hermanus today, and trying to manage kids, work via my cell phone, answer calls, co-ordinate Happy Helpers, and also take photographs of my mom’s beach house in Sandbaai.  So the day was a bit crammed and I did not get the “great news” until somewhat late in the day.  I will confess I did think about it earlier today, and thought sh*t they would have called me if I had won, and quietly congratulated the other bloggers.

Checking email gets a lot better when you get an email that pats you on the back – say as opposed to the one that is bitching and moaning and/or asking you for the payment you still have not processed (I am getting there I promise!!)

My Blog’s new pink bling ———————————————————————————————–>

Thanks kidzworld.co.za, and thank you to everyone who took the time to toddle along and put in a vote — I have no idea how the finalists were chosen, so I really am as blind to the process as the next person, but glad none the less that I got PIMPED!

So much better than being the girl with the camel toe who does not get picked for PE teams and stands awkwardly on the school sports field…..like lots much better ….>

Congratulations to all the bloggers who were nominated, and shortlisted – Mommy Bloggers keep such good company, and to win against other Mommy Bloggers is not an easy act of desperation.  I know the old adage of “it was honour enough to be short listed with this lot” but it was pretty cool just to be on the shortlist, so to win, is “three LARGE glasses of chenin blanc” great!

Natasha and Tanya, well done on being runners up!