Daddy daddy cool Exclusive Books winners …

I was meant to do this on Friday.

Then I fretted about how to pick a winner.  Fretting usually makes me stop functioning and just make copious amounts of Earl Grey tea, of which several cups go undrunk, as I am fretting and forget to drink them.

This particular fret was no exception.

I fretted about maybe using a hat and pieces of paper.  I then wondered if I should use the magic finger pointing system which I have had great success with in the part.

Thursday ended.  Friday ended.  Saturday arrived, and still I had not decided on a system.

I had Georgia’s birthday party at Art Jamming > terrific party place people.  I would say suited to kids 6 years and older, great party location, kids had a ball.

Sunday I was at a dog show in Malmesbury with Dexter – GO DEXTER THE BOSTON TERRIER.  The weekend moved on at a bit of a pace and then I realised I had still not done anything about picking two winners, but had done a fabulous job in stuffing chocolate cake into my pie hole.

I decided that there were 24 comments, and I wrote down two random numbers on my page – and then went and matched the number to the comment left and tah-dah there we have two winners.  Seemed randomly fair, and at the same time I didn’t have to spend any more time fretting.

Dads enjoy your EXCLUSIVE BOOKS hampers.

Tania and Alexandra please send through your delivery address {send it via Facebook if you can}

07_dadwinners

 

18_dadwinners

 

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Bet you did not see this one coming …..

I am not quite sure how to explain this phenomena without posting the issue in the words of the mother who was effected/traumatized/left stunned:-

I feel so betrayed because I trusted my nanny with my kids, little boy (2.7yrs) and
little girl (7months).

Last week I found her breast-feeding my little girl and I still feel
traumatized by the thought that she might have infected my little girl with HIV.

Of course I took little girl for HIV testing the same day and gave my nanny an hour to get out of my house, but I feel like I will never be able to trust another nanny with
my kids again.

I don’t even trust crèche teachers at this stage.  But what can I do
because I have to work and my job has a lot of travelling involved.

I feel so stressed and depressed right now. Please give me any advise on  what  I can do from this point.

Instinctively you will want to go back and re-read it as, if your brain is in any way programmed like mine, is going “What the Fuck!”

You might even say it several times over and then think “what!?”

It actually does not get any easier to absorb no matter how many times you try and take it in.

I could not  wrap my head around this.  Where in any women’s mind would it be okay to “breastfeed” another women’s child?  How ignorant must you be?  How totally removed from …. I don’t know ….. everything must you be to go “this is a super idea.”

The mom in question had stopped breast-feeding her daughter when her little girl  was 4 months old.  But as the little girl is now 7 months old and took the breast, the thinking unfortunately is too frightening to begin to imagine.

When I picked myself up off the floor from the rather dazed state I was in after absorbing this – it appears that this phenomena is not as “wildly” uncommon as my “suburban mind” is assuming.

Nope, if someone is looking after your baby and baby is upset and nothing is working, then said person often things “well, I got milk, and baby needs to be soothed, so let’s pop my nipple into baby’s mouth.”

Two other moms said they had heard of this occurring before and though they were horrified that it occured they were not as shocked as I was, as it “happens”.

Officially a total WHAT THE FUCK MOMENT?!!!

My point here (and I think there could be so many things we could say on this but I am going to leave it to this one) is if you left me for 50 years interviewing and hiring nannies to assist moms with newborns or young babies, and I would NEVER have thought to say “oh, my baby is being breastfed, I just want you to know in no uncertain terms that if you put your nipple anywhere near my child I will kill you – and not quickly.  I will kill you slowly and painfully and bury your body so no one will ever find you!  Okay, so we clear on that?  Anything else you need to know about the position?”

Not an issue that I would have covered in any interview, ever – no matter how many times I had interviewed or reference checked someone.

Ever.

But this it appears might be one I will suggest you add to your list if you are interviewing someone who has recently had a baby — you know, just because she could slip and her nipple could land in your newborn’s mouth.

Freaking unbelievable.  (or am I the only one who has just had the bejesus scared into them?)

Breast is best ….. but fek it is painful.

Connor was an easy baby – I did not realize how easy until I got to number three, who gives new meaning to the phrase “I am going to run away and join the circus and give you to the gypsies” but more on that later.

I felt quite a bit of pressure to breastfeed and get it right the first time round.  It really did look quite divine in the magazines – everyone was so happy and fulfilled when they were doing it.  I wanted to feel fulfilled and divine in soft lighting and chiffon shirts.

I have heard horror stories about what other moms have gone through trying to get their off- spring to latch and suck correctly, so in comparison mine was pretty much plain sailing with few tears of frustration – mine were more tears of pain.

I found that it was frikk’n sore – small point I felt was hidden from me prior to my experience.

I have always been immensely fond of the way pregnancy and birth books never refer to child birth and the related activities as scream-inducing-pain.  Soft non-scary words like uncomfortable, might keep you up at night, a little uneasy are used.  I really think it would be more beneficial to call it what it is.

Breastfeeding, once you have got past that first day or two in hospital, starts to get decidedly painful.

I am not going to comment about how suddenly your breasts are public property and nurses pop by and have a feel, and pull your shirt down and latch the baby.  Any sort of decency you might have exhibited while everyone was looking at your front-bottom while a baby was expelled from there, has long since evaporated as now your hoo-hoo bags are the prime focus of attention.

I am not against a bit of nipple tweaking myself, but not by strange woman in nurses uniforms.  It really is not my thing.

Possibly – I am just putting this out there – my nipples have not been trained in the art of violent sucking and adhesion – this may be a comment on my sex life, but let’s leave that for another day.

I will be the first to admit that I have not had an extensive dating history and maybe I spent too many evenings at home instead of out wildly partying, but the bottom line is my breasts prefer very mild activity – more soothing sort of stuff.

This may be the reason that I was caught quite unawares by the violent sucking-action a latched baby can administer.  You know when this happens once, one can drink a cup of tea or a glass of wine – time of the day dependent – and chuckle about what a surprise that was.

However two or three hours pass and it is time to expose your rather delicate but slightly bruised and now chaffed nipples to some more of that action.

Two or three weeks down the road, it is no longer a laughing matter – you are literally bleeding around your nipple area.  Your nipples are painful and any kind of contact is excruciating  – so the idea of this baby making hard sucking noises does absolute nothing for your sanity at this point.

[I don’t even want to open the door to the option of your partner ever going near them at this point … the idea of anyone ever viewing them as sexual objects really is an affront to my mind who has now converted them into baby-sustaining equipment.]

Damn it really is sore – contrary to popular belief.  I met one of those real earth mothers the other day – bless her – you know the one who wants to be with her baby ALL THE TIME – and breastfeeding was easy and “no it was not painful” and never touched alcohol in any shape or form the entire way through her pregnancy or during breastfeeding.

It did make me feel mildly guilty as I sipped my glass of wine while I was 8 months pregnant – only because she was looking at me in a critical manner.

But I digress, for her there was absolute no pain with breastfeeding ….. now, may be I am doing it wrong.

My baby sucks like an industrial vacuum cleaner and I will need to go home and feed in about two hours and my nipples are already battening down the hatches for the onslaught.

My friend decided to skip it as it made her feel like a lactating sow …. It does make me feel like livestock to a certain degree, but for me, I am sold on the convenience – only because I am so lazy that cleaning and filling bottles seems like really hard work at 2 in the morning.

I do feel it is very important to have some sort of a cut off for breastfeeding.  I think we have all seen the skit in Little Britain where the 40 year old man asks for some “bittie” from his mom … I must confess that when a child can walk up and lift your shirt to get the breast milk, it might be the sign that you should stop.

The thing about breastfeeding is another one of these social pressures where you are meant to be good at it and enjoy it.  There is a shame and embarrassment in “choosing” to formula feed.  <sigh>

I am breastfeeding now, but I have already snuck in a 11am formula feed to give my little boobies a break and also to allow me to skip off to work for some sane time.  I might introduce a 3pm Saturday formula feed too, so I can get an afternoon nap …. let’s see how this works out.

Breastfeeding Cartoon