RSVP’ing … what the fk is up with that?

I am trying to plan a birthday party for Georgia and Isabelle.

Georgia turns 6 on the 20 June and Isabelle turns 2 on the 10 June, so this year I thought it might be easier (for me) to just lump their parties together on the same day and we will have a party on the 11 June.

I am not going to be able to get away with this for very long, so I plan to take the gap whilst I can and it might be nice for the girls to share a birthday together, and I have got them skirts that match.  So as naff as that is, that is what is going to be happening here.

Parties are very stressful endeavours for me.

Planning them, attending them, just about everything party = stress for me.

(everything party = total oblivious Kennith)

I know this should be a happy time.  I should be basking in the joy and celebration of my daughters.  Planning a party (whether in my home or at a party venue is very stressful and make me anxious) gets a bit overwhelming for me.

Why?  Because it does become all about me at a certain point.

I want it to be a great party for my kids. I want in those two hours them to feel like the most important people in the entire universe.  I want them to remember the party and remember it fondly as a day where they were the most important thing in the world.

Kennith says I am throwing the party for the parties I did not have as a child.

He is not totally incorrect.

This party is like all the other parties I have thrown for my kids.

I am stressed, and anxious about the party. I worry that no one will come.  I worry that my kids will
not feel loved and have a good time.  I worry that I will be more socially awkward than I already am.

I worry there will not be enough food.  I worry there will be too much food.

But today I am pissed off that parents cannot follow a FUCKING RSVP.

I am starting to think/reason that maybe people (parents) do not understand what an RSVP is.

In my map of the world RSVP means – please tell me if you are coming or not, so that I can plan to make  enough food, buy enough wine, make sufficient party packs if you are coming.

If you cannot make it, no worries, just let me know, as then I do not have to wonder if you are coming and then start catering if you might come.  It really would save me about 3 hours and probably a few hundred rand if you did RSVP.  Use the cell number or the email, sms or email, you do not actually even have to talk to me,
I am fine with that.  Totally fine.   Just do not leave me hanging in this middle-earth of not knowing what you are doing.

But parents don’t RSVP.  Granted people don’t RSVP.

But why?

Is the time to write a “Yes, love to be there, thanks” or a “No, can’t make it, thanks” message either via sms or email just too straining on their time?

Is it because they are so inundated with invitations to so many events that they hand them to their personal secretary and she has overlooked this one.

Is it because they are unsure of whether they wish to come or not, and want to sort of leave it open in case something better comes along?

Is it because they really do not like me or my child and by not RSVP’ing they know that this will annoy me no end and also be a personal snub on my child?

Well, what is it then?

I am gob smacked as to what is wrong with people.

Why must I have to go back to each person and say “so are you coming?” so I can be sure whether to pack a party pack or not.

<I have had instances in the past where kids arrive to a party and the parents have not RSVP’d so I am left without a party pack for said child.  As a rule I pack 5 extra party packs now without names on them.  How bizarre is it that I adjust my behaviour because I expect parents to be self-absorbed-I-don’t-care-about-other-people-and-their arrangements people!>

<Sidebar:  I have had the same thing for big people parties, baby showers, weddings, so I am thinking that is not anything person against my child, though right now I do feel like it is a personal snub.>

If you get an invite, just respond say yes, say no – it really is pretty simply stuff. Takes no more than 5 second, 12 if you are stupid and can’t work an QWERTY keyboard.

Surely you get an invite, check your diary, right there you know.

If there is a conflict and you are unsure if you can make it then email the person ‘Would love to join you on the 11 of June, might have to have an anal tumour removed, but specialist doctor is checking avialability.  Fingers crossed.  Will let you know if it is a go on the anal tumour on the 9 June, if not, then I am definitely there.  Would much rather have some cake and jump on the jumping castle than the anal tumour removed.  LOL”

You get the idea.  What is the FUCKING big deal?

Do it within 48 hours of getting the invite, then you know they know and everyone can get on with their lives.

There are family and friends coming, but I wanted to include some friends from Georgia’s class and school who she asked to invite.

I sent out more than 20 invites to kids at Georgia’s school last week Friday and asked them to RSVP by the 6 June – I have heard from 2.

But that being said I had worked out in my head that of the 20 invites, I would get 10 RSVP’s and of the 10 only 5 would be able to come, I was fine with that as a final figure.

What has annoyed me is that even with my very practical mental calculation, and rather (very) pessimistic view on how crap people are, the RSVP rate is still lower than I had pitched it.

Really if you perform lower than my expectations, then you must suck!!

<I have some family members who I have sent invites to who have not RSVP’d either.  I am actually at the point where I want to go and sh*t on their doors steps. I am not sure of what point that would prove, but I am actually out of ideas.  My guess is if someone shat on your doorstep for not RSVP’ing, my guess, is you would be the best darn RSVP’er from that day going forward.  So it might work.>

Spur people … people with a taste for life ….

I am really not a Spur-Party person there is just something about it I find a little cheap-and-well-not-so-cheerful for kids parties – I don’t know why, I just do.  I like to plan extravaganzas.  I have made a silent pact with myself to never have a Spur party for my kids as long as I can avoid it.

This year I planned a great Princess Party for Georgia’s fifth.  I booked a great venue and pretty much had it all planned.  I just had to do the invites and the small details.

Georgia then piped up that she wanted a Spur party.

Some times it does help to just ignore the wishes of your child and continue on your merry way.  However Georgia is not one of those people who you can just ignore and act like they never said anything.  She is the insistent memory-like-an-elephant variety.

I tried to explain that we can go to the Spur ANY TIME – and really we do – at least once a week – the party I have planned included a castle, go karts and ponies and so many cool things.  But Georgia was not interested and insisted that a Spur party was the answer.

I thought okay,  maybe I can sell it up a bit and have all the kids dressed as cowboys and Indians – at least then I could use the excuse as to why the Spur seemed a good venue, but it was not to be.  She still insisted she wear her fairy outfit – so there I was stuck with a Spur party on my horizon.

We scouted out a few Spurs to find one with a good play area, and then booked it.

All things being equal, they are really well organized and just seem keen to help.  Spur throws in a cake at no charge, they have face painting and the kids get much more to eat that they need.  You actually do not need to do anything – you do not even need to do a party pack – they give a cup that the kids take with them filled with sweets, so it is the easiest party I have ever planned in my life.

So there we were on Saturday celebrating Georgia’s party at the Spur – I have never seen her as excited about any of her parties as she was about that damn Spur party.  She spoke about it for about three weeks before, and on the day was so excited it was really very sweet to watch.

What I liked most, was when the moms were all sitting around the spur table, the kids were running around and I ordered a bottle of wine – initially they were all sipping their coffee and reluctant to partake, but it only takes one to say “yes, I will have a little …. and then off we go.”

Life’s rule # 56 – you really should not have to attend a child’s party unless there is wine on offer – or some form of alcohol.

The party was really easy, we had about 8 kids there – which was a damn side easier than the normal 25 I drag along.  They had a good time, then after it all, everyone stood up, said goodbye, I did not have to clean up anything, and we decided to sit down for lunch – yes, still at the Spur!!

So I take back all the things I have said about the Spur, and think that if Isabelle is not careful she might be getting a Spur party in the next three to four years.