What you’re really saying ….


Black Lab

“I’m generally a pretty normal guy.”

Chocolate Lab

“I’m generally a pretty normal guy…with an edge.”

Jack Russell Terrier

“I grew up in the 90s! I still collect Pogs!”

Pit Bull

For the last time guys, my penis is totally normal sized!”


Homosexuality is a sin!”

Australian Shepherd

Homosexuals need our support!”

Shih Tzu

“I’m gay!”

Standard Poodle

“My son’s gay.”


“I go to surprisingly great lengths in the name of irony.”

Old English Sheepdog

“My imaginative, latchkey-kid son is in need of a best friend.”

Mutt (Adopted)

“You bought from a breeder? Oh I guess I just like to be part of the solution, that’s all.”

Mutt (Purchased)

“I’m very easily swindled.”

St. Bernard

We call our basement ‘the rumpus room!”


You kids wanna see a dead body?”


“I bought it for my daughter to teach her responsibility but…well, you know how Chelsea is.”

Chinese Crested

Fuck it!”