Exclusive Books are giving books away …..

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Okay, they are not actually giving them away for nothing, but they are giving them away for a lot less money that you would spend under normal circumstance.

I went along last year to the Exclusive Books sale, and I can tell you without any hesitation, that it was the best freaking SALE ever.

I do love books, and all things book related, so the idea of walking into a warehouse arrangement with trestle tables piled high with books was a bit on the orgasmic side for me.

I love to smell books, I love to touch books, books tick nearly all the things I need to get my senses running on an all time high.

This year the EXCLUSIVE BOOKS SALE is running at Canal Walk  —- I am imagining rows and rows of table of pure deliciousness.

The SALE OF THE FREAKING YEAR runs from 28 August – 14 September, 09h00 – 21h00 and is going to be situated opposite Entrance 8, which is near Game and they are using the store that was used by Khoki before.

Here are some tips for preparing for the sale – I want to pass on my wisdom to you:

1.  Have a good breakfast.  Keep the liquids to a minimum, you do not want to have to drop your stash to go for a urine break.  Alternatively fit a catheter.  You can get the basics from your local hardware store.

2.  Do some basic stretches — it may come down to speed and you grabbing something before someone else does.  Focus on upper body and arm work — legs aren’t going to be that important.

I do suggest doing these stretched before you get to the sale, but I guess if you have a leotard and want to do it there, no one will object, but you are losing valuable shopping time whilst you show us how you can bend it like Beckham … but to each his own.  However with some of these stretches your very relaxed vagina muscles might squeeze out a bit of urine, so I think add some dry wipes to your bag just in case.

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3.  Try not to have any hand luggage – this will include your bag, young children, your husband or a cup of anything from Vida Cafe.  The longer you hold something, the more chance you have of missing out on all the good stuff.

4.  This is one of the few times where you will be permitted and encouraged to wear a fanny pack.  Keep some lip moisturizer stick (not the tub kind) available, your credit card — you may want to sort out your credit limit or an extension before you get there.  I am going to put a few high protein snacks in as well — I don’t want to get dizzy like the last time.

5. Test your clothing before you leave home.  Check you can walk really fast — no running involved, but there are going to be moments when you spy a book on a table, and  it is the last one, and then you notice some other shopper who has also seen the book.

Having clothing that you can move fast in is going to come in helpful.  If you have to the lip moisturizer stick you can also use it to strike her to distract her, she will then drop the book and the “finder’s keepers loses weepers rule kicks in”.  No one ever expects to be stabbed or struck with a chapstick, so it is a useful tool in your arsenal.

Okay this is a shank used in prison, but it is nearly the same thing.

6.  Leave children at home — trust me on this, you want to stay focussed and dedicated.  Kids are really of no use to you on this outing.  Leave them at home, lock them in the car, or tie them to a bench outside, but do not bring them to this sale.

7.  Ditto for husbands, partners, sperm donors –— you may want to match kids up with their respective fathers on this day and get them to go somewhere.  Else.  Together.  But not here.  With you.

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8.  What ever plans you have made for “after the sale” — cancel them.  Chick, there is no time after the sale.  The sale is an all day affair.  And you are going to be exhausted afterwards — and also you are going to want to unpack all your books and look at them.

 

9.  Think strategy —- how much can you reasonably carry?  If it is not a lot, then you need to be doing some “jerk and lift” exercises now already.

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10. Take along some heavy duty canvas bags, because you will not be able to carry it all in your hands.  Your shoulders may get sore with the weight of the bags, so I suggest grabbing some of those heavy duty Kotex sanitary pads, and just wedging a few under the bag strap.  Sure people are going to snigger, but you will be respected when their bag straps are cutting in to their shoulders and you stand their with your gloriously relaxed shoulders with no big red welts on them.  Winning at this, you will be.

11.  Think Xmas — you can purchase so many of your gifts right there and then, so go along with loose list in your head of who you can buy books for.

This is also a fantastic defense when you get home with a trunk load full of books — if anyone judges you and says “well, fuck how are you going to pay water and electricity now??” then you can just say: “These are Christmas gifts … for the CHILDREN, for gd sake have a heart —– its Christmas!!!”  You may need to practice that line a bit to make it sound like it is actually Xmas, because in reality it is August, and well, no one is thinking Christmas right now.

But points to you for thinking and planning ahead.

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12.  Invest in a camelbak — these things are great for EXCLUSIVE BOOKS SALES and when you are finished using them to drink from, they can double as a catheter bag.

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12.  Amateur Hour is having your partner/husband drop you off and he will come back later to collect you.  This is a SALE people, not a freaking play date.  Drop yourself off and leave when you are ready, or out of money — which ever arrives first.

I hope this handy little guide helps you, and you have an awesome EXCLUSIVE BOOKS SALE EXPERIENCE!!

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Niki Daly 2013 winner of the IBBY SA Award with The Herd Boy ….

I realised that I do not go to Media Events.

I get invitations, but usually decline or drop them into my “things to reply to as soon as I have 35 sane seconds” and quietly sit there and “sweat” at the thought of a roomful of strangers.  And me.

The reason I avoid media events can usually be attributed to the following reasons

1.  I have little interest in going – and the only reason I appear to be invited was so that I can add it to my blog post and tell you about it.

2.  I have a serious overload of things to do, and the amount of hours in a day that remain.

3.  I really hate walking into a room full of people I do not know – can you say Social Phobia?

4.  I am bound to say something inappropriate, or will wander off and stand in the kitchen, stroke the cat, nurse my drink and avoid mingling.

I was invited to the IBBY SA Awards Lunch where they were announcing the winner for the best South African children’s book writers and illustrators.

The Exclusive Books IBBY SA Award recognises the best South African children’s book writers and illustrators and highlights Exclusive Books’ objective of bringing books and children together. IBBY SA is the South African National Section of the International Board on Books for Young People (IBBY).

IBBY SA nominates writers and illustrators for the IBBY Hans Christian Andersen Award. It also makes nominations for the Honour List of books that are presented and promoted every second year at the IBBY World Congress, in the following categories:

  • Authors in a variety of South African languages
  • Translators between various South African languages
  • Illustrators

These nominations are for writers and illustrators who have made a significant current contribution to the country’s literature for children and young people.

I made an exception for several reasons and went along to this event held on Thursday 10 October at 220 Princes in Cape Town, hosted by Exclusive Books. {yes I do realise that I am being a bit tardy with this blog post}

I was able to bring my wing-girl, Judith Cross along – she of Oxford University Press Senior Designer fame, and it seemed like a pleasant afternoon out.  I am glad to brush my teeth, and hair, change my underwear if there are books involved.

I thought it would be an awkward award event, but we all sat around a lovely table, and there were snacks – and the speeches were short, and funny and then the winner was announced.

Niki Daly said his thanks, waved his award around in a good natured manner, then we all sat down, congratulated each other and continued to eat the divine food.  More award events should you like this.

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All the food at 220 Princes Lounge as particularly nom-nom ….. great space for functions ….. .

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The winner Niki Daly as the 2013 winner of the IBBY SA Award with The Herd Boy, published by Jacana Media.  All present were lucky enough to receive a copy, which Niki Daly kindly autographed.

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 The members of the IBBY SA jury would like to make honourable mention of Ben and the Whales by Ingrid Mennen and Irene Berg (NB Publishers). According to the IBBY SA process, the winning illustrator receives R5 000.00 and the author R5 000.00, but since Niki Daly is both, he will receive a R10 000.00 cash prize!

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Long table, people eating – top hats for chandeliers.

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From left to right: Carole Broomhalll Publisher Jacana Media and Niki Daly

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From left to right: Talita van Green Events Coordinator Exclusive Books and Niki Daly

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From left to right:  Lona Gericke – Chair of the EB IBBYSA Award Jury;  Robin Malan IBBY SA; Niki Daly, writer and illustrator – Winner of IBBY SA Award 2013; Rene Brophy Marketing Manager Exclusive Books and Nonikiwe Mashologu Chair of IBBY SA.

Niki Daly has a great blog and you can see more examples of his work, and stalk him if the need arises.

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Niki Daly wearing bookends as ears … yep, seemed all quite normal at the time.

If you are wondering what to give your child’s teacher for an end of year gift, may I suggest a copy of this book?  it will be loved, read and enjoyed long after the box of chocolates you were going to buy is eaten and the wrappers tossed aside.

It was a nice relaxing lunch – but then everyone stood up and left.  Judith and I decided to go and sit in the window seat, order more wine and relax in the afternoon sun.  Nice day out.  Well done Niki Daly, and thanks Exclusive Books.

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Books, oh glorious books …. BOOK SALE!!!

Exclusive Books Mega Warehouse Sale is HAPPENING in Cape Town: – the phrase that pays is R50 for 1 kg of books.

the incredible Exclusive Books Mega Warehouse sale is on from Friday 9 August until Sunday 1 September (including the public holidays) for the first time ever in Cape Town.

Book lovers know that this is the only sale with the lowest prices on the best books at R50 per kilo!

The warehouse can be found at Booksite Afrika, Unit 3, 9 Koets Street, Tygerberg Industrial Park, Parow Industria, 7493.

The warehouse will be open from 09h00 – 16h30 every day and credit card facilities will be available.

Exclusive Books can’t wait to welcome Cape Town to their biggest and most popular sale ever!

Details can be found on the Exclusive Books Facebook page and on Twitter at @Exclusivescoza.

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Put this in your diary IMMEDIATELY!!

 

You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.

I really adore books – and I love that so many people who stop by my blog are equally as excited about books as I am.

Books make the best gifts.  Long after the toys are broken, the batteries lost, and the wine bottles empty, you can still read the book again, or stack them up high in your passage and start looking at bit like Hoarders Buried Alive.

I truly love books.

I love Dr Suess – and I think it gets clever as you get older, and you can read more into the bits of “nonsense”.

I am so please that the winner – chosen sort of randomly {the judges decision is final, and no argument or dissension will be tolerated} gets to share these books with her (I assume it is a her, I have no idea of the name other than sparrow202) family and pass them on …. and have a part in the forever life that is great books.

Congratulations – please send a note via Facebook with your contact details and address – delivery is usually with a courier, so somewhere during the daylight hours where someone can accept a parcel and sign for it.

Please send through the delivery details – and please let them be in South Africa!!  Small detail I should have added in the small print of the giveaway.  But then I realised there was no small print. Okay, I will stop rambling now.

Enjoy.  And apologise I did not do this by Tuesday like I said I was going to.

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Thanks Exclusive Books – you are nice folks!

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Confessions of a Sociopath by ME Thomas

I love it when I finish a book and a new one arrives in bubble wrap from Exclusive Books.

It never happens to me, but it happened today, and I got to do a little monkey dance with no co-ordination and only a tune I could hear.  True story – then the bell at the gate rang again, and I went to see who it was, maybe Exclusive Books wanted to deliver a second book.

But it was the pharmacist dropping off my medication.  Home delivery of a cool book and meds – what could be better?  Well wine delivery — have I told you before how much I am looking for a wine sponsor?

The book I have in my grubby little paws is Confessions of a Sociopath – A Life Spent in Plain Sight – by ME Thomas

I am thrilled – I have been wanting to read this book {who am I kidding, I am wanting to read nearly book out there – except Twilight, they can keep that shit} for a while.

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Thanks Exclusive Books …..

 

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When I am finished, I will pass this along to the Blogger Book Club, and someone else can get excited about bubble wrap and envelopes arriving at their door.

“Being crazy isn’t enough.” Exclusive Books Giveaway ….Dr Suess Hamper

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{this is a sponsored post from my favourite book retailer – Exclusive Books}

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Between 1 July and 31 July 2013, the world of Dr Seuss filled with Grinches, Cats in Hats, Foxes in Socks, Green Eggs and Ham and other such weird and wonderful creatures, will come alive at Exclusive Books. A bumper Dr Seuss month featuring special books, puzzles, board games and plush toys at fabulous prices will be available for the young and the young at heart.

Dr Seuss titles such as Oh The Places You Will Go, The Bippolo Seed, The Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham are a part of the fabric of childhood.

They are the stories that entertain, thrill and amuse every child with fantastic-al rhythms and marvellous rhymes.

However, the most wonderful part about Dr Seuss is the motivational message in his stories.

For centuries, he has encouraged children to be brave, be original and make their own way in the world as seen in his quote – “Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!”

Fantastic Dr Seuss themed events for children will take place at stores around the country on Saturday 13 July at 11h00 and 13h00. The stores participating include: Canal Walk in Cape Town, Mimosa Mall in Bloemfontein, Walmer Park in Port Elizabeth, Gateway in Durban, Nicolway in Johannesburg and Centurion in Pretoria.

Exclusive Books looks forward to welcoming the Dr Seuss fans of South Africa to their stores to take up the great promotions on offer.

As Dr Seuss said “Fun is good!” and we plan to have lots of it in July.

I love Dr Suess.

If you don’t have anything in your children’s bookshelves yet, then please please take advantage of this give away.  You know how much I adore books, and a hamper of Dr Suess is a brilliant gift.

Know someone having a birthday soon? Or want to hide this away until Xmas?  Or just want to jump out wearing your striped hat screaming “surprise!”

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I have a stunning Dr Seuss Hamper Give Away which consisting of a plush toy, Dr Seuss box set collection and puzzle valued at one thousand smacker’oos.

All you need to do is leave a comment on this blog post before some random time on Sunday afternoon, 14 July 2013 – you will be entered, and I will announce the winner on Tuesday, 16 July 2013.

Just leave a comment with your favourite Dr Seuss quote {here are a couple to help you along the way}…. and that is all.  I will pick a winner and send you a Dr Suess Hamper.  What?  No seriously it is that easy.  No need to “like” “repost” “re-like” “retweet” or what ever else that usually drives me crazy.

I like competitions you can enter and then just win stuff.

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Yay for Exclusive Books, and yay for Theodor Seuss Geisel and yay for you for having a fairly good chance of winning.

Daddy daddy cool Exclusive Books winners …

I was meant to do this on Friday.

Then I fretted about how to pick a winner.  Fretting usually makes me stop functioning and just make copious amounts of Earl Grey tea, of which several cups go undrunk, as I am fretting and forget to drink them.

This particular fret was no exception.

I fretted about maybe using a hat and pieces of paper.  I then wondered if I should use the magic finger pointing system which I have had great success with in the part.

Thursday ended.  Friday ended.  Saturday arrived, and still I had not decided on a system.

I had Georgia’s birthday party at Art Jamming > terrific party place people.  I would say suited to kids 6 years and older, great party location, kids had a ball.

Sunday I was at a dog show in Malmesbury with Dexter – GO DEXTER THE BOSTON TERRIER.  The weekend moved on at a bit of a pace and then I realised I had still not done anything about picking two winners, but had done a fabulous job in stuffing chocolate cake into my pie hole.

I decided that there were 24 comments, and I wrote down two random numbers on my page – and then went and matched the number to the comment left and tah-dah there we have two winners.  Seemed randomly fair, and at the same time I didn’t have to spend any more time fretting.

Dads enjoy your EXCLUSIVE BOOKS hampers.

Tania and Alexandra please send through your delivery address {send it via Facebook if you can}

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daddy, daddy cool …. hummed to the boney m tune ….

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Father’s Day in South Africa 2013 is on Sunday, 16 June …..

Here’s my list of what makes a daddy-daddy-cool dad

  1. Put their interests first, always.
  2. Protect them.
  3. Teach your son how to be a polite and courteous man.
  4. Teach your daughter that she is loved, and adored and does not need to gain anyone’s approval.
  5. Show them by example.
  6. Spend your spare time with them.
  7. Give them hugs.  Tell them you love them.
  8. Do the “mom” stuff – get involved in the routine stuff.
  9. Read to them.
  10. Put the iphone down, interact with them.
  11. Stand by their mom – be a united front – don’t fight in front of them.
  12. Teach them self-esteem.
  13. Teach them about finances.
  14. Be good to yourself.

It’s not a comprehensive list, but there are my 14 – feel free to add a few, or change to suit.

Exclusive Books has teamed up with Reluctant Mom, and I have a great collection of books to give away to the special dad in your life – it can be anyone’s dad.  Maybe it’s your dad, your granddad, your children’s dad, your teacher’s dad, a dad you know who is just a cool dad – someone who can be a daddy-daddy-cool dad for 2013.

He does need to know how to read, else the books are really going to be wasted on him.  So give that some consideration as you work through the possible people you want to nominate.

What is better than giving away one collection of books from Exclusive Books?

Giving away two collections!!   Yay — I am so excited, because you know how much I love books.

Nominate the dad you think could do with a lie on the couch, a pile of books, and some decent coffee or a cold beer — sorry I can’t supply the coffee or the beer — but I can supply the books.

Leave a comment, nominate your dad-person, and tell us why he is such a cool guy, and a great dad.  

Two hampers, two chances up for grabs.  These are awesome books.  No need to even get in your car and drive to the store to collect them – we will deliver them to you {entries are limited to addresses in south africa — okay, that is pretty much all the small print}

No retweet, repost or any crazy stuff –  just leave a comment.  Here on this post.  And that as they say is all.

Entries close on Monday, the 17th June 2013 – some time after sunset.    I will announce the winners of the two hampers on Friday, 21 June 2013.

Easy?  Freaking easy and awesome — nominate your person.  Done!

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The Sisterhood of the Travelling Book ….

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I have agonised over this — really I have.

I am a people pleaser at heart, though I do come across as a total douché bag and then you wonder: “really a people pleaser, really?”

But I do.

I was earnestly contemplating how I would go out and buy 5 books and send them all out.

I really think that it is unfair to subject only one person to the happiness that is Jenny Lawson.  Really.  This is the kind of happiness that makes you fart you laugh so hard.

Unfortunately Jenny (the bloggess) has totally fkd it up for the rest of us.  Seriously if you are a blogger, and thinking about writing a book, how in gds green earth do you even start when you are faced with the book that is “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” ? As much joy as the +331 pages brought me, it also saddened me to know that Jenny has made it impossible for mediocre bloggers to even think about putting ink to paper.

In the greater scheme of things, a small price to pay.

I do want us all to hold hands and sing happy songs around a camp fire, as we get drunker and drunker, and then we can all start talking trash talk about someone who is not at the fire, with us.  That sort of everyone getting together and being part of how wonderful this book is.

Starting fires in suburban parks without the right permits is frowned upon, and with a 5 litre box of wine does bring more boys to the yard than when I make milkshakes.

I really love Jemina’s idea of making it the Sisterhood of the Travelling Book – and it would be very cool if “the book” (said with the right amount of back music to make it sound quite dramatic) is passed along to someone else as well.

I am going to slip my slightly used, but much loved edition of  “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened {A Mostly True Memoir} by Jenny Lawson The Bloggess” into a white padded envelope tomorrow and send it off to Countess Kaz who blogs over at The Fat Dairies!

I think it would be great if she would read it, sign it and send it on to another Jenny Lawson Stalker – I can’t dictate to CountessKaz where to send the book, as she might get a list off her blog.

Enjoy the book CountessKaz – I hope it brings back a bit of your mojo.

It is brimming with mojo and all sorts of other good stuff.  Laugh hard, snort harder, and got to bed with a smile on your face — think of me!

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