The lament of the reluctant mother with school going kids ….

The last two weeks are the mania that all parents face in January.

The happiness that school has finally started and that you have survived the school holidays.  The reality of handing large sums of money over to school outfitters and stationery store.

Can you say “how fast can my Xmas bonus disappear?”

There is a certain joy as you hand your child over to the teacher and think “thank goodness, that gets me at least 5 – 6 hours a day where my child can whine at someone else…” You try not to punch the air in happiness as you skip out of the classroom.  You wave good-bye to your offspring – or just run out and not wave good-bye.

Sometimes you are able to hold back until you get to the car, and then you can scream whoop-du-fkn-whoop at the top of your lungs.

Again, this might only occur in my neck of the woods, your reality may be far different.

I do not think that school teachers are being paid enough.  I have no idea what they are paid.  But what ever it is, they are not being paid enough. If they were being paid more, we may have negotiating power to insist they only take the mandatory 15 working days holiday a year.

When I was at school, we had to fill in a form in standard 8 about what you wanted to be when I grew up.

I filled in “school teacher” as I thought “winner, I love school holidays…and how difficult could it be?” My career counsellor looked at me and said “But you hate kids ….” and I agree that this detal may well be the flaw in my rather fantastic plan.  Instead I wrote “vet”.

This December/Jaunuary I was seriously considering offing myself with a bottle of wine, and car exhaust fumes if school holidays carried on for much longer.

At one point Kennith looked at me and said: “I am really tired of doing things with the kids ….”  I wish I could pass a reply in judgement, but the reality is I had already had the thought two weeks ago, and just been chewing the inside of my lip in the hope I could just survive until the 11 January.

This year Connor headed to Grade 4, and Georgia started Grade 1.

Georgia was dead excited about being in big school.  She only showed a mild annoyance with me that I deemed to hang around in her class while I looked on to see she was settled in. She wanted me to bugger off and leave her so that she could do some serious colouring in.

Her first week has gone off swimmingly, and she is as happy as a bat in guano.  I am already drowning in the deluge of school notes and co-ordinating her extra-mural schedule.

Isabelle started her first day of school today.

I was a bit blasé about the entire thing.  You know, what with being an old hand at this and all.  Love them and drop them.

Isabelle is so supremely confident that I thought I might just send her to school with the bus and enough money to get home.

I realised that judging by the other moms and their super kean keanness around open day, I should probably arrive in person for the first day.  I diligently went along and did the “first day thing” with the drop off, her sleeping mattress and her funky pink school bag, and packing all her stuff in the right place.

Unfortunately it ended it as all “first days do” with her clinging to my leg, screaming like her limbs were being removed, and the teacher nodding at me that it was okay to leave.  Me looking rather forlorn as my off-spring screamed and the tears ran down her flushed pink cheeks.

I did not so much punch the air as I got into the car, as let out a rather sad sigh and wished it had gone better.  I already regretted that we had reached this milestone so quickly – remember when she was born, it was just the other day.

I feel a bit guilty now about judging new moms so harshly that they want to sms the teacher during the day, and start fretting about Junior.

It is all I can do to not call the school to check on Isabelle … I am sure she is fine … or at least I really hope so.

First day of school pictures – trying to get that “thing” that is each child, and I think I have got it in each of these little montages/collages.

<<Connor – January 2012>>

<<Georgia – January 2012>>

<<Isabelle – January 2012>>

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First Day of School …. might help to be organised ….

Right now a bouncing ball and a fly on the outside of the window is distracting.

I struggle to stay hinged to a conversation flow, and to complete a thought — all I want to do is drink a mug of tea, and then switch it up to a large glass of Chenin after 5pm and stare blankly at blog posts and pinterest.

My mind happily skimming over the surface of life, no one asking me to clean up shit, or when we can go play at Daniel’s house or what is for dinner.  Just the quiet and silent oblivion of internet crap and liquid down my gullet.

Signs of trouble?  You betcha.

This morning (which is the day before school – Connor is going to grade 4, first day of school for Georgia, so sort of a big deal) I asked Kennith if he had got the stationery for the kids.

I had seen a pencil list lying on the kitchen counter and I assumed he had picked this one up as a task he was doing.

Kennith responded: No one asked me!

Me: Shit. <<silently wondering that no one had asked me either, but it seemed to be on my list of things to do …. but I will let that slide ….>>

It will mean that today will be running to get the last of the stationery at the stores that more prepared mothers have left behind.  1/2 of what I need will be missing.

Tonight I will get to sit with a marker and write Georgia or Connor onto 3 000 items of stationery as I develop arthritis in my writing hand.

Fk!

I thought we were organised this year.  We went and bought school uniforms on the 23 December.  We were the only people in the school uniform store.  I thought we had score a touch down and were the most organised parents.

Kennith bought Georgia a cool school bag, so I was so sure.

But like Christmas Eve when you realise you have not bought a present for your significant other and need to do the mad dash to Checkers and see if there is anything on their shelves you can wrap, today/tonight is fill stationery-list day.

Of course the catch is that I do not actually have the stationery lists so I need to go and find those.  Fabulous.

Officially the most disorganised and dysfunctional mother of January 2012.

<<my pill doctor office appears to be closed …. seriously if you are responsible for issuing medication to less than stable people, then you do not go on leave …. I mean seriously….seriously??…..>>