Drunken Texting … and other night time activities …

I think we are all familiar with the phenomena.

The night before last – I am sitting with my iphone and started chatting to a friend of mine.

I am used to using my nails as a stylus, but now I have to use the side of my baby finger.  The result is that it sometimes takes me a little while to compose a message.

Any the who, this friend and I start chatting.

Before I get in to bed, or actually as I get in to bed, I take my “night meds” – my meds work pretty quickly and are so effective that I do not take them and then go shower – as I am sure I may fall and knock my brains out.  My “night meds” are a commitment, once they are in, the game is over, there is no monkey business or operating heavy machinery, it is all fall down and stay there.

So I am chatting my my friend A on WhatsApp …..

At some point the medication kicks in, so technically I have left the building, even though my body is still there.

The next morning I pick up the phone and see there is this odd message on my chat history and immediately I think Kennith is a tool, as he has used my phone in error.

My phone is black and his is white, so I am pretty sure he must be seriously dim spirited.  I apologise to my friend for this strange message and we carry on chatting.

Last night I say to Kennith:” You know you used my phone in error and added a message ….”

Kennith looks at me, and I pass him the phone, he reads the message, looks back at me and starts to laugh.

Me: What’s so funny?

Kennith: Do you not remember this?

Me: Errr, no what?

Kennith:  Do you not remember struggling to type a message, so you decided to use SIRI and then you were slurring so badly SIRI did not understand you, and you said SIRI is stupid?

Me: I have SIRI on my phone?

Kennith – with tears running down his cheeks is trying to re-enact my slurring, and my inability to form a coherent sentence.

Kennith: Do you remember the movie you were watching?

Me = zero, like not even an incling of what he is talking about.

My message read: “Hpbst on this on well test for PC Bondeson well it’s a fine it’s 10 choices six.”

Seems legit.

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This would be funny if it was not so true …

About two weeks back, Kennith and I went out to lunch.  There were two girls sitting next to me – probably in their mid-twenties – and they spent the entire lunch either taking photos of each other and posting them to where ever, or sms/tweating/facebooking or what ever.

Their conversation between them probably lasted to less than 5 – 10 minutes, whilst the remainder of the time they spent on their respective phones. I have no idea what they were doing.  My guess is telling everyone what a fabulous time they were having at the restaurant, and then LOL and OMG’ing along to what ever comments they got back.

Kennith is a little obsessed with his iphone – and I am hinting at the scale of it – he does not leave his iphone alone.

We are watching a movie.  Kennith is on his iphone.

We are driving.  Kennith is on his iphone.

We are eating a meal.  Kennith is on his iphone << though I think he has reduced this since I raised the issue a while ago>>.

The kids are going ape shit.  Kennith is on his iphone.

My phone it not an appendage it is merely a tool to ensure that should my kids be involved in an accident I will know about it.  However to contextualize the comment my phone is a Nokia XpressMusic, which is about as close as you can get to a piece of shit, other than putting an actual turd in your hand and using it to make and receive calls.

I really hate my phone.

I have a sneaky suspicion that iphones are a bit like remote controls for boys.  They must hold it all the time, and just keeping pushing the buttons – you know just because they can.  The beauty of an iphone is that you are surrounded by applications, so you can download them and sit and play with them, and then just as you start to maybe start interacting with real live people, you download another application and it all starts over again.

I have fantasies about taking the phone and throwing it over the wall, or atleast as far as I can throw it, which will probably bounce off the wall as I cannot get the range required to get it over the wall.

For now I think this image does sum up iphone irritation.